Invited to a Bridal Shower, but not the wedding??

[michelle08]

I'm not sure...I didn't invite co-workers (only 2 of them) to the wedding, but then again I knew they wouldn't be able to go both because of money and time off (since I won't be there). However if I have a shower I was planning on inviting them, only because I never really put much thought into it. They are my friends at work and i see them more than most of my other friends...they hear all about my wedding planning etc...and I guess I would feel weird talking about my shower to them and not inviting them. If they couldn't come then I wouldn't care. I guess I never thought about it the other way. I wouldn't be inviting them for gifts...

 

So maybe it was really innocent and they just didn't want it to be awkward not inviting you?

 

I don't know...maybe I shouldn't invite co-workers to the shower now. Yikes!

 

Sorry, I know I didn't help!

[jajajaja]

I'd skip it if I were you. It's such short notice so you have a perfect excuse. I'm like Carly though. I don't like going anywhere where I don't know people. I get super uncomfortable. I think showers are uncomfortable anyways- even when they are my good friends.

 

I definitely agree the trend needs to change with them. They should be more festive and less gift giving.

[Karen]

I too say send your regrets and chip in for a wedding gift from your office if that's planned. And I do not believe you are obligated to give a shower gift either.

[Yari]

I think they are being quite tacky. That was very nice of you to explain the etiquette to him.

 

I wouldn't go, since it was so short notice and you have a night of heavy drinking the day before.

 

Chip in for a present with everyone else and be done with it.

[MrsV-to-be]

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle08 I'm not sure...I didn't invite co-workers (only 2 of them) to the wedding, but then again I knew they wouldn't be able to go both because of money and time off (since I won't be there). However if I have a shower I was planning on inviting them, only because I never really put much thought into it. They are my friends at work and i see them more than most of my other friends...they hear all about my wedding planning etc...and I guess I would feel weird talking about my shower to them and not inviting them. If they couldn't come then I wouldn't care. I guess I never thought about it the other way. I wouldn't be inviting them for gifts... So maybe it was really innocent and they just didn't want it to be awkward not inviting you? I don't know...maybe I shouldn't invite co-workers to the shower now. Yikes! Sorry, I know I didn't help!

I completely understand your rationale.

First, I think in this circumstance due to the short notice it is in bad taste.

However, I don't necessairly think it is always in bad taste to invite someone to a shower where you did not invite them to a wedding.
My 2nd cousin had a very small wedding with only immediate family and very close friends, however the whole family was invited to the shower. I did not see anything wrong with this. I think a destination wedding could, in some cases, fall under this rationale as well.

Though, if you are inviting all of your aquaintences that you have in your address book to the shower - and did not invite any of them to your wedding - that would most definitly be tacky.

[TATrisha]

I think that my work friends are throwing me a shower. Although they aren't close friends that would be invited to my wedding, they are still the people I see every day. They are happy for me and want to share in the happiness. I don't expect presents from them... but like you said it'll probably happen. I think that a friend shower present and a co-worker shower present are different though. I would spend much less on a co-worker.