Wear this Not This - How do I tell my guests?!!!!!

[cdc150]

I'm going to email all my guests before we leave-- people are asking what to pack, here are your answers!

[Coco YUL]

@ Proti007: LMAO... lol... for me Hawaiian shirts shouldn't be an option... at all... lol...

 

Tks for the thread... great ideas...

 

Last April was in the MR for vacations... and there was a wedding on the beach... one of the guest had his shirt open during the ceremony and toast... great...

[torilynnsmith]

OMG I am so so glad to read this!!!!  I had my first mini bridezilla moment the other night at the airport on the way home from my best friends wedding.  FI and my flight had been delayed and then all of a sudden I got an email from my FMIL asking (for the 4th time) whether guests can wear shorts to the wedding!

 

 

I just about lost it!!!! I included on our website a special "dress code" section when she asked me whats appropriate the first time, 2 weeks ago we were visiting and his aunt asked if her partner could wear shorts as he already had them, I said "sure!" (I was just sick of discussing it), I got another email before this one from FMIL asking why I didn't say shorts on the dress code portion of the site and then THIS! I lost it in the airport.  I was like NO MORE QUESTIONS LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I turned to FI and said "I'm getting MARRIED, we're getting MARRIED!!!!! Do they not realize this?  It's on a beach but we are still getting MARRIED and I will still be walking down the aisle in my $1500 designer gown!!!!!!!"  Oh I was so frustrated!!! We are not going for a formal look, khakis, capris, linen pants or slacks with short sleeve dress shirts of even polos are JUST FINE! I didn't say shorts because I don't want swim trunks and cargo shorts in my pictures....... ughhh the frustration!!!

 

I just don't understand why this is such a big deal to people, DRESS YOURSELVES, you do it everyday, 2 people are getting married and you are travelling a great distance to be a part of the day so GET DRESSED!!!!!  I didn't include "shorts" in our dress code because I don't want people wearing shorts!!! I did the same, "Well he can wear what he is comfortable in" line with FIs Aunt (re her partner) and thought that that should cover it (and he'd be the only one in shorts) then to hear it AGAIN from my FMIL like REALLY? She always says "Well people are asking me" I wanna know who these people are because not even that many people have booked!!!!! I thought I had this covered on the website.... apparently the MULTIPLE options we gave people wasn't enough!!!!

 

Ok sorry for the huge rant I was just so excited to see another bride dealing with the same thing!!! OH one last point:  If you already bought the shorts why are you even asking?! "Do you expect us to return them" well if you didnt plan on it then DONT ASK!!!!!!!

 

Originally Posted by proti007 

I had a guest ask at my shower over the weekend what was appropriate for attire. I told her that summer evening dresses for women and a shirt/pants would be appropriate for men. She said that her husband had purchased dress shorts, and "Would that be ok?". NO THAT WOULD NOT BE OKAY!!! Holy putting me on the spot, Batman! I had to politely answer that this was our wedding reception, and I was in no way expecting a suit, or even a sportcoat for the men, but that linen or cotton pants would be a great option. "So, you want us to return them?" was the response I got. I told her to tell her husband to wear whatever he felt comfortable in, but that the rest of our guests would be wearing summer formal clothing, and changed the subject. I promptly posted this on our website afterwards, in our Wedding FAQ section:

 

What should I wear to the wedding?

Resort formal attire is appropriate for our wedding ceremony and reception.

For Women: summer evening dresses, formal sundresses, sandals.

For Men: long pants (cotton or linen will be very breathable for the hot Cabo weather!) and a button down shirt (short sleeve or long). Ties and jackets are not necessary!

 

I really, REALLY, wanted to put the following as well, but my FI stopped me:

 

"Beach Chic"/"Resort Attire" does not mean Hawaiian shirts, shorts, daytime sundresses, beach cover ups, flip-flops, halter tops, tube tops or tank tops, capris, short skirts or anything you'd wear to a casual picnic or beach day.

 

Lol. Probably a bit snarky. And he was probably right

 

Originally Posted by cdc150 

I'm going to email all my guests before we leave-- people are asking what to pack, here are your answers!

 

[Coco YUL]

@ Torilynnsmith: lol...

 

Still can't understand those people...

[Starfish0512]

I'm really glad I found this thread...  It simply amazes me that people think "beach wedding" means shorts and hawain shirts.  My most recent back and forth is with my own mother. She keeps telling me what she wants to wear and even sent me a picture of something that looked like a MuMu the other day and her explanation was well it is on the beach...  I tried my hardest to remain composed and kindly explain to her that both FI and Best Man will be wearing suits and ties.  No she doesn't have to wear a typical mother of the bride gown but no she definitely can not wear a hawian print outfit.  And no it won't make it better to offset her if my father wears a printed shirt too.  What about those two outfits goes with understated elegance, it's still a wedding!  If I didn't want people to dress for it, there's only so many reasons to get fancied up, i would have eloped!

 

Amazing.

 

 

So glad others are experiencing the drama. 

 

I will be including a section on our website as we get closer for attire.  Hopefully that will avoid other issues, doubtful, but i'm hopeful.  

[Sllefebvr]

I agree with the "beach chic" and adding it on the pre-travel brochure or your wedding website!!

[anad1027]

I am SO glad to have hound this thread!  

 

Proti007 and Torilynnsmith, I totally hear you!  Fi and I have still not even picked a location yet, and my FFIL keeps telling me he has his cargo shorts from Costco ready for the wedding.  He has said it about 10 times, and I know it's just to get a rise out of me, but still!   It's driving me crazy.  I know it's not as formal as a NYC wedding, but like you said, we're getting MARRIED.  It's just as legit as a non-beach wedding, and there's no reason to dress like you're at a BBQ.  

[jwilson]

I like the term "beach chic". It connotes some sort of elegance.

[monicak]

Beach Elegance is perfect, sets the tone and they won't be under-dressed

[kellygrrrl]

hee, ok, I am totally LOL over here. sorry to laugh, but your story is FUNNY. : )

 

Originally Posted by torilynnsmith 

OMG I am so so glad to read this!!!!  I had my first mini bridezilla moment the other night at the airport on the way home from my best friends wedding.  FI and my flight had been delayed and then all of a sudden I got an email from my FMIL asking (for the 4th time) whether guests can wear shorts to the wedding!

 

 

I just about lost it!!!! I included on our website a special "dress code" section when she asked me whats appropriate the first time, 2 weeks ago we were visiting and his aunt asked if her partner could wear shorts as he already had them, I said "sure!" (I was just sick of discussing it), I got another email before this one from FMIL asking why I didn't say shorts on the dress code portion of the site and then THIS! I lost it in the airport.  I was like NO MORE QUESTIONS LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I turned to FI and said "I'm getting MARRIED, we're getting MARRIED!!!!! Do they not realize this?  It's on a beach but we are still getting MARRIED and I will still be walking down the aisle in my $1500 designer gown!!!!!!!"  Oh I was so frustrated!!! We are not going for a formal look, khakis, capris, linen pants or slacks with short sleeve dress shirts of even polos are JUST FINE! I didn't say shorts because I don't want swim trunks and cargo shorts in my pictures....... ughhh the frustration!!!

 

I just don't understand why this is such a big deal to people, DRESS YOURSELVES, you do it everyday, 2 people are getting married and you are travelling a great distance to be a part of the day so GET DRESSED!!!!!  I didn't include "shorts" in our dress code because I don't want people wearing shorts!!! I did the same, "Well he can wear what he is comfortable in" line with FIs Aunt (re her partner) and thought that that should cover it (and he'd be the only one in shorts) then to hear it AGAIN from my FMIL like REALLY? She always says "Well people are asking me" I wanna know who these people are because not even that many people have booked!!!!! I thought I had this covered on the website.... apparently the MULTIPLE options we gave people wasn't enough!!!!

 

Ok sorry for the huge rant I was just so excited to see another bride dealing with the same thing!!! OH one last point:  If you already bought the shorts why are you even asking?! "Do you expect us to return them" well if you didnt plan on it then DONT ASK!!!!!!!