Jaded family members

emstypes · October 19, 2011

I second this! Your happy moment should be filled with those who want it to be even happier! Don't let anyone ruin your special day.

Originally Posted by anudrm

Had to qoute you....that's exactly what are situation is. We got the negative feedback, we have the people who won't show up because it's too much money, we have the people who say yes and are taking no actual steps to be a part of it.

My mother told me do whatever makes you happy, this is your day not their's. You'll spend your entire life attempting to accomodate others and in the end you'll be the one miserable!!! If they can't bite the bullet to put your happiness above their own, then they shouldn't be a part of YOUR happy moment anyways!

loreli79 · October 19, 2011

Whats with the people who RSVP'd "yes" to your DW but still have yet to officially book? Everyone knows the longer you wait, the more you pay. I choose not to go with a travel agent and in my case, the resort doesn't actually charge you until the day you check in. So the only upfront cost my guests have to come up with is airfare. And half of my "yes" RSVP's have booked thus far.

And then you have those who don't even have the courtesy to reply to your RSVP, that you supplied a stamp for! It's like they are too embarrassed to tell you they are not coming, yet not replying is any different or better???

DRPrincesa · October 28, 2011

That's horrible. My dad is sooo not a "beach" person so I basically told him to stay home. My mom on the other hand has been to DR 5 times and will be "in charge" of our 2 boys. I wouldn't ask them to pay for a thing. I would definitely speak to my mom if I were you and tell her I would really like for her to be there. Open the lines of communication because at the end of the day that is your mom and she too will one day regret being there. As for your sister, I would tell her stop being so bitter and mind her business! LOL. On a serious note, she has her opinion for personal reasons so disregard her "hate". Happy planning despite the DRAMA!

pfeiffla · October 31, 2011

HI rae12vb!

I hope things have gotten better for you since you posted this, but I just wanted to say that the people who are supposed to be there, will be! Even if that means the 2 of you

I would definitely start making decisions based on what you and your FI want and nobody else- it's your day! It also seems like there are some people that have some growing up to do. Since I too, know some people like that, we didn't want any money from them! That way they couldn't hold it over our heads later, for whatever reason! Good luck

Originally Posted by rae12vb

So I am dealing with TONS of family drama.

Travis and I got engaged in October 2010. We had origionally planned our wedding for 5/26/12. My mother suggested we move it to a closer date and get married in the fall. We then set a date for 9/10/11. We were very excited and began to plan, it was 11 month away!

6 Months before, my father, who said he was paying for everything, ripped the carpet out from underneath us and told us he just didn't have the money and couldn't afford the wedding. He was also furious that my mother (my parents went through a brutal divorce ( wasn't paying for anything.) This made him change his mind and suddenly, there were no wedding plans.

I was extremely upset. I, of course, went to my mother for guidance. She suggested we do the destination wedding. She suggested that we rented a Villa in the caribbean and get married in a chapel.

More and more weeks were passing and I still had not made a decision. I tried speaking to my mother about what to do. I told her that I felt like I had no one to help me make decisions and I felt on my own. Right away she concluded that this was because of money. She got extremely mad and stopped speaking to me. This was in March and she has yet to speak to me.

In the meantime we had to make some plans. We decided to go forward to our wedding at the Moon Palace in Cancun Mexico.

We booked the resort and sent out the invites.

Because of the short planning, basically no one is coming. It's very upsetting to know that even with getting an invite my mother can't get over her own pride to congratulate her daughter.

I also go a nasty e-mail from my sister, who was married at 16 and divorced by 25.

She thinks we're making a mistake. Although we're a great couple she thinks that we are just going to get divorced. And that we are "rushing" into a marriage.

I am not sure where this is coming from other than the fact that my mother must me talking behind my back.

Travis and I have been friends for 10 years, we have dated for 4, we own a house together and we've been engaged for just about 9 months right now. How can your own family members be so jaded at such an important time in someone's life.

It's all very hurtful....how are any of your handling family wedding drama?

Dominican Ally · January 19, 2012

This thread makes me feel better! Thanks ladies! I'm just starting the planning, and already having some negative feedback. I can only imagine how much more complicated it is going to get - but at least I have this forum!