Jaded family members

Somehow weddings seem to bring out the worst in families.  I'm having similiar bad experiences.  Is it too late to postpone the wedding a bit and give people time to save up money and get adjusted to the idea a little more?  That's what we did and it helped for the most part.  Go to Moon Palace as just a fun getaway.  I'm sure you could use some relaxation. 

I just finished writing another bride about family drama.. !

My fiance and I have been together for six years.. I am the first person to get married in my entire extended family.. I guess everyone was looking forward to the big traditional wedding but my fiance and I never wanted that.. We love to travel.. We love the beach.. And we wanted to get married with only our closest friends and family..

Lets just say that the only person supporting us was my sister.. My family is very traditional and think its a sin that we are not getting married in a Greek church.. From day one, I have had to hear that I'm being stupid and selfish expecting people to spend thousands to come and watch me get married in a foreign country..

I could deal with that.. What I couldn't deal with is my cousins who cursed me out and basically wished the worst to happen for my marriage.. We stopped talking.. But I did make an effort to reach out one last time-- as upset and pissed off as I was.. It's just the kind of person I am.. I hate conflict.. And I feel like a wedding is something to bring families closer together and not break them up... But boy was I wrong!

So, really the past few months I have been planning the wedding alone with my fiance.. My parents still weren't thrilled but when I went shopping and they saw me in my wedding dress for the first time they told me that they just wanted me to be happy with whatever we decided..

I think families get so wrapped up in their own expectations for their kids that they forget the beautiful thing that a marriage symbolizes.. Why can't families be supportive.. Whether we decide to elope in Vegas or just go to City Hall?

In the end, I learned that the people who truly care about me will be there for me.. And I wouldn't want anyone there who didn't fall into this category..

My advice to you is don't listen to anyone.. It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship based on a solid friendship with a deep commitment to one another.. ( I personally think your sis is a little jealous)..

Please don't be upset if it does end u being just you and your fiance.. There are many ladies on here who had very special wedding days with just their groom.. I understand that you would want your loved ones there, so I urge you to try and repair the relationships.. I know that you are completely in the right and shouldn't have to make the first step.. But sometimes we just have to be the bigger person..

I truly hope it works out for you... Please keep us posted!!

I'm in a similar boat but FI and I will be sticking to our guns.  Even if NO ONE shows up, it's happening.  WE'LL be there. WE'LL enjoy the trip. And WE'LL have an amazing time. 

Come hell or high water, this wedding is happening.  I don't care if someone dies the day before.  It's happening.

i cant help i laughed a little when i read this.. i going  thru same kind of drama as you ladies and i just basically the same thing as this to my mother in the phone... GREAT minds think alike ! hope you families all come to terms with the plans of your wedding !!

Originally Posted by mrsbruff2b 

I'm in a similar boat but FI and I will be sticking to our guns.  Even if NO ONE shows up, it's happening.  WE'LL be there. WE'LL enjoy the trip. And WE'LL have an amazing time. 

 

Come hell or high water, this wedding is happening.  I don't care if someone dies the day before.  It's happening.

Had to qoute you....that's exactly what are situation is.  We got the negative feedback, we have the people who won't show up because it's too much money, we have the people who say yes and are taking no actual steps to be a part of it.

My mother told me do whatever makes you happy, this is your day not their's. You'll spend your entire life attempting to accomodate others and in the end you'll be the one miserable!!! If they can't bite the bullet to put your happiness above their own, then they shouldn't be a part of YOUR happy moment anyways!
 

Originally Posted by mrsbruff2b 

I'm in a similar boat but FI and I will be sticking to our guns.  Even if NO ONE shows up, it's happening.  WE'LL be there. WE'LL enjoy the trip. And WE'LL have an amazing time. 

 

Come hell or high water, this wedding is happening.  I don't care if someone dies the day before.  It's happening.

I'm in the same boat.  And I couldnt agree more with this post.  Why is it that your family & friends feel like you are just out to inconvenience them for having a DW?  Isnt it supposed to be the Bride & Groom's day!?!?!  Nope, every day my family & friends justify my biggest regret... we should have eloped!

I feel the same pain, except someone in my FI family did pass away suddenly in July... and unfortunately he was one of the few guests booked & paid that were coming.  I went to a funeral of a man I never had the opportunity to meet and cried like a baby.  How is that someone who genuinely wanted to come to my wedding & was looking forward to it, could pass away so suddenly.... unreal.  
 

Dont lose sight of whats important to you... starting a family with the man you're about to marry... and certainly dont lose sight of yourself.... DO care.  You're wedding will happen, people will be hurt, but they'll get over it... you'll be hurt and carrying it around with you forever... its just not worth it.  <---- or at least this is what I try to tell myself!  lol

Originally Posted by mrsbruff2b 

I'm in a similar boat but FI and I will be sticking to our guns.  Even if NO ONE shows up, it's happening.  WE'LL be there. WE'LL enjoy the trip. And WE'LL have an amazing time. 

 

Come hell or high water, this wedding is happening.  I don't care if someone dies the day before.  It's happening.

Wow! This seems rough, hopefully you are supporting each other and ignoring the people who are not helping your relationship. Hope you had a beautiful wedding even if it was just the 2 of you.

My mother just annonced to me that she was no longer coming.... almost 2 months away .. first i've heard of any doubt that she was coming.. but indeed she called the travel agency and cancelled. So both my parents aren't coming... and my fiancé ... same thing.. i'm an only child too...stings a lot ... was very excited to have my mother with me.

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear that.  What's worst about it, is that she went about it in a truly sneaky way (IMO).  I don't understand why people feel that if you don't tell me directly that it won't hurt as much.  

I can only imagine your pain.  
 

Originally Posted by MichCraw 

My mother just annonced to me that she was no longer coming.... almost 2 months away .. first i've heard of any doubt that she was coming.. but indeed she called the travel agency and cancelled. So both my parents aren't coming... and my fiancé ... same thing.. i'm an only child too...stings a lot ... was very excited to have my mother with me.