A bad friend????

[Dedicated2Us]

I have a similar relationship with my best friend. She is my only friend. But our relationship is kind of crazy. We dont see each other as often as we should and she only lives 3 minutes away. But when I got engaged I knew that I wanted her to be there (even though we lost touch over time) I still asked her to be there. Even though she wasnt a great friend to me, i figured I knew how I felt, and I felt I wanted her to be there. Regardless of anything that had happened between us. So if she is your friend it should be ok to ask her what the deal was with you being excluded from her wedding. It sounds like you really care about her but are hurt. A friendship is very much like a relationship...a lot of work and communication is needed. You should definitely tell her how you feel and if you want her to be part of your wedding still, i think it is very grown up of you to ask her to be part of your wedding regardless of the fact that she didnt ask you to be in hers.

[Dedicated2Us]

Just read your last message. You know people make mistakes, and some don't realize what they are doing. You have to specifically tell them what it is that they are doing that is hurting you. I think you should really think about this before you make a rash decision that you will regret later. Maybe not decide something like this when u are upset. Speak with her first (open and honest) and then decide =) cheer up....there are plenty female fish in the sea lol

[sunset78]

The friendship is breaking up not her and FI's relationship.

 

Sounds like your doing the right thing. It can be hard to end friendships, but unfortunately, it has to be done sometimes. Friends just don't walk over other friends and expect them to accept it.

 

**hugs**

[JCruz]

That's really tough because it sounds like you have a lot of history together. I agree with the other posts and think you should tell her how you've felt this whole time and why. I've had issues with girlfriends before, but have found that you can't underestimate how strong friendships can be when you're honest and open with one another.

[Bing & Win Win]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Love3 what was that? You and your FI are breaking up?? If so I am sorry to hear that

Heck NO...he'll never get away from me

I was speaking about my bad friend. I'm breaking up with her. I haven't officially told her this yet. I'm hoping she'll just wake up and catch on! You'd have to read my first post to see why.

[blckrevpower]

whoa, sorry to hear about that. hopes it works out

[Bing & Win Win]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dedicated2Us Just read your last message. You know people make mistakes, and some don't realize what they are doing. You have to specifically tell them what it is that they are doing that is hurting you. I think you should really think about this before you make a rash decision that you will regret later. Maybe not decide something like this when u are upset. Speak with her first (open and honest) and then decide =) cheer up....there are plenty female fish in the sea lol

Plenty of female fish in the sea...you're funny!!!

I totally get what you're saying. However, I think I'm at a point in my life where I want friends that truly care about me as much as I care about them. I feel like she knows exactly how she made me feel and I really do think she knows that she should have made sure ALL of her friends got invited to her shower and bachelorette party. She's nearly 30...it should just be common sense by now!? The fact that she didn't speak up and say "hey - make sure you invite these people", is really quite offensive. I don't have time for people like that in my life. Life is far to short. I want to surround myself with good, honest and caring people. I'm not mad any more, hurt - a little. But, I'm not going to waste anymore time being upset. It is what it is. Thanks for your input, and like I said - I get what you're saying...I just can't be bothered to invest anymore effort into this friendship!

[Debs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bing & Win Win I was speaking about my bad friend. I'm breaking up with her. I haven't officially told her this yet. I'm hoping she'll just wake up and catch on! You'd have to read my first post to see why.

I'm sorry but I would have to be more blunt then subtle, because you've pretty much put her in the situation you were, haven't you? Just think about how you've been feeling these last couple of months. I just couldn't do that to someone else, knowing how I felt when it was happening to me.

Just my thoughts.

[Bing & Win Win]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debs I'm sorry but I would have to be more blunt then subtle, because you've pretty much put her in the situation you were, haven't you? Just think about how you've been feeling these last couple of months. I just couldn't do that to someone else, knowing how I felt when it was happening to me. Just my thoughts.

Ouch

Everyone has a different opinion. You're entitled to one...even if it's blunt

I'm not normally a mean person that would intentionally make someone feel bad. I've said that at this point in my life I want to be surrounded by people that care about me as much as I care about them. I don't think I'm a bad person because of that. If someone is your friend you shouldn't have to tell them it was wrong and hurtful to not be included in any of their wedding functions. I know when it comes to my showers and stagette parties...and all of the planning stuff - I will ensure that everyone of my friends are included. I'm not about making any of my friends feel leftout...that's a really awful thing to do to someone. And, you may say that that's exactly what I'm doing to her...but, at this point I no longer consider her a friend of mine. I do not hate her or wish anything bad on her...I simply do not consider her a true friend or a kind person. I don't think I'm in the wrong for pulling away after what she did. I don't have many girlfriends - the good ones are hard to come by. But, I can say the ones I have are great and I love them to bits.

[khomac]

My best friend of 18 years didn't ask me to be in her wedding either. We had drifted apart the 4 years prior to her getting married. I was sad, but got over it.

 

To not be invited to the shower or stagette?!?!? WTF?!?!? I'd be pissed! I would probably yell at her at first, telling her how upset I was, and then seeing as I'm such an emotional basketcase, I'd end up crying at the end of the phone call. I know that I would have to call her in a few days to apologize for over reacting, but I was extremely hurt.

 

Long time friends I have learned will be there for you forever. You can grow apart, but know that they will always be there for you when crap happens in your life. Then maybe a few years later, you grow close again. Be honest with her that you are sad (instead of angry).

 

Good luck!