Getting really upset and frustrated....

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tvt I can't speak for everyone on here, but I know we are doing a lot of stuff DIY or just skipping it in general to watch our budget. I can't remember who it was, that planned their whole wedding for 5k....

maybe me. but, i went over in the last few months when i splurged on photography & added in video. it was totally worth it to me though. by the time that i made that decision, we were so great on the budget & had already received some generous gifts of cash so it was a decision to go over. A $5000 budget is totally doable still.

My budget is in the budget thread. i went under for most things & made the wedding even better than I planned on. I also added in a group excursion to the ruins at Coba.

we ended up getting over $5,000 in cash & checks. I never imagined we'd get so much money for gifts. the only other thing that I sometimes wish I also splurged on would be a mariachi band right after the cermeony...

[KAMAY11]

That is very wise of your FI to want to pay cash for everything! I wish I could say we were doing the same.... :S

I kind of went through the same thing-My FI proposed to me in Dec.2006. I was so excited, i started planning everything RIGHT way. I even went so far as to put a deposit on a wedding venue.

At the time we were living in a condo with my sister and it was an all around bad situation! My FI sat me down one day and told me he wanted to push back our wedding because he wanted to buy a house first instead of spend $$ on a wedding. Needless to say, i was devastated. I had the same thoughts as you, but I had no choice. I had to forget about getting married right away.

Fast forward year and a half later-we have our house and even though we lost $$ on the deposit for our original wedding venue (a stuffy golf course in Calgary!) I am thrilled we waited! We have our dream DW and when we get back we can celebrate a MARRIAGE.

I know it's hard to let go of having a wedding right now, but your FI is very smart in that he doesn't want to get in to debt over this and is focused on a future for the 2 of you.

Hang in there...it will ALLLL come together in the end!

[KLC77]

I know that pushing it that far back totally sucks. I would be so upset too. The only positive thing I thought of is this~ if you are on this forum until then think of all of the amazing new ideas you will get to use! Your wedding will kick a$$. I can imagine how much things have evolved since the forum first started so you will have all sorts of new ideas between now and then.

[beachbride08]

Do you have to push the date back a whole year? Can you do it later in 2009?We started planning our wedding 18 months in advance and that felt like it was an eternity away, but really the time does go by so fast. I can't believe our wedding is in 2 months. In regards to the budget. Initially we wanted to stay within $8-10K, and now we are around $12K. However, that includes our trip cost which was a little over $5k for the two us. The rest includes photographer (and fee to resort to have outside photographer), videographer, wedding package, per person fee, dress, and all the wedding extras. We saved a bunch of money doing the STD and invitations ourselves. We could have saved even more, but I really wanted to do the message in a bottle so the postage kind of killed us. We also extended invitations to extended family which we didn't initially plan on inviting. If you stick to a small guest list you can definitely stick with a small budget. I would just make a list of what things you are flexible on, and definitely shop around for deals. I picked out my dress, but didn't buy it until the weekend after Thanksgiving when they had a sale. I saved money on my dress and got my headpiece for free. I bought some items on the forum that would have cost me more if I bought on my own.

[Michelle]

aww thanks you girls have all helped me so much to feel better about this....i talked to my FI today about maybe having a wedding date later in 2010 and he said we can probably do that ) so i feel a bit better...we are planning on doing DIY invitations and favours so that should help with money...and we made a budget for the wedding and for just regular life things up until the wedding so that we can cut back on things like buying coffees and going out for dinner all the time so that should help...and i was thinking of looking at bridesmaids too instead of wedding dresses to save alot of money! we are also planning to get married now at Dreams Cabo instead of Cuba so that gives me something else to look up and keep me busy just looking at reviews and pictures lol....do any of you know when is the best month to get married in Cabo?? i want to have great weather but I dont want to go in hurricane season its a huge fear of mine! but ya im on the phone right now sweet talking my FI trying to get a date that isnt so far in the future lol...ill let you know what it ends up being

[sunset78]

Aww, that truly sucks.

 

I hope something will work out for you. Definitely look into the Stag and Doe (or Buck and Doe) parties.

[jajajaja]

In the beginning, we set a budget and I had a slight freak out because I didn't think we would be able to save all the money that we wanted for the wedding. We wanted to use CASH only too! It's really a good idea.

 

Anyways, we ended up saving WAY more money than we thought we could. How deep into the budgeting have you gone? Have you taken a look at your income vs. monthly expenses to calculate how much you can save per month? That should give you an idea of how many months it would take you to reach your budget.

 

Plus you have to weigh if it's more important for you get married soon or if it's more important to have everything you want in your wedding. Once you start priortizing and figuring out what works for you, then that should help as well.

[Michelle]

yaa we have made a budget that has our income each month and it shows our monthly expenses and how much we can save after paying eveyrthing we need too....if we pretty much never go out for dinner and dont have "allowance money" to go clothes shopping and do fun things we can save the money in time to get married in Jan 2010 when we originially wanted to...but knowing the two of us we will get frustrated with each other and it is going to cause fights and tension because we like to go see movies and go for dinners...so my FI said it may be another 8-10 months after i want to get married but if we wait a bit longer it means we can save the money we need and still go see movies and go for dinner until we get married )....so i guess he is just being sweet and trying to figure out the best way for us to save...in the end whether we get married in 2010 or 2011 ill still marry my FI and have the wedding of my dreams..we will always be together so there is no rush i guess....im slowly starting to come around and not be such a brat about this lol....haha my FI laughs about it everyday because he used to be my manager when i worked at Canadian Tire in high school and then we were just friends and he always joked that i was such a spoiled brat and that i would make some guy really happy one day but that i would spend all his money haha...and 5 years later that guy is him!

[Erica053009]

First of all you need surgery are you ok? Good luck with it and hope you have a speedy recovery

 

Second ok so my FI is in debt right now (that is another story) and I am a penny pincher if I can't pay for it in cash but there is a loop hole bare with me I am trying to explain this so it makes sense written out

 

ok so you have your $ you pay your bills and extra goes to save for the wedding correct? so instead of pushing back the date set up a payment plan woth your resort like I owe $3,000 in 2 more weeks then I owe another $$$ in 6 months etc until I owe $$$ on my wedding day...so instead of putting the money in the bank you just put it towards the wedding so you can't use it in the meantime because the car broke down and now you have to get married in 2030

 

then comes all the extra stuff dress, favors, invitations, FI outfit etc...here you spread out your spending you have enough time with your original date when you pay in smaller amounts it doesn't hurt your day to day life as much and really think what is more important a really expensive dress or getting married sooner then later it will be a great learning experience on $$$ control

 

this is my theory and I am sticking to it

[Michelle]

Erica you are so sweet and so right! as for my surgery I have a genetic condition that means I will 100% get colon cancer and so im having my colon removed to make sure i dont get really sick ...im gonna be in hospital after the surgery for two weeks and in bed for three months of recovery its gonna be rough...but ill be ok

 

for the wedding though thats such a brilliant idea to ask the resort if we can pay them money over time because knowing my FI and i something will come up and we will want to use the money saved for the wedding...but i think im going to have to be patient and wait until late 2010 or 2011 for my wedding because I dont want to give up getting a really nice dress or getting the ring i really want..(my FI just called me to talk about this and was saying he wants me to like my ring and not look at it everyday in my life wishing i waited a bit longer to save for the one i really wanted)...im such a girly girl so i really do want that gorgeous wedding dress with the perfect hair and make up and rings.....so yaaa ill have to wait haha...you girls are amazing though you make me feel better about this