little by little, no one is coming ... i give up!

[DanielleNDerek]

I agree with what Rachel just said. At one point we had 62 "definates" but when it came time to book half of them had excuses. He were dissappointed that none of his friends were coming and I was dissappointed that none of my close cousins coming. But in the end, we looked at the people that were coming and making the effort to share in our day. We just focused on them. We really wanted a DW so we got over who couldn't make it.

 

You have to decide what's right for you guys. And it's still early I'm sure some of these people may change their mind and decide they need a vacation by May 2009.

[cougs]

they are driving me CRAZY!!! thanks again ladies ... i'm so sorry so many of you are going through the same thing!

[cougs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81 We had 40 people tell us they were coming no matter what!! Guess how many we are having.... 21. We also picked Dreams because of the kid rule. Guess how many kids we have coming... None lol. Just count your blessings that anyone is coming. I am actually glad to have a smaller crowd! 1. it's cheaper for us 2. I hate attention HA HA purely selfish reasons.

kat, you crack me up! but i have to admit i was thinking the same (i hate the attention too, and it will definitely be cheaper!). i am seriously considering just going with the FREE wedding package now, and taking the 4 or 5 people who do come on a sunset dinner cruise or something for a "reception!"

[cougs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel Soo to sum it up, we invited around 120 people and had 18 come.

WOW.
that's insane ... you must have felt so hurt. but your photos tell a story of a perfect, happy wedding ... soooo, if you had it all to do over again, would you have gone this route?

[ACDCDCAC]

rach! i never knew all that back story! or if i did i forgot the deets. that sucks so hard.

 

mummer, take inspiration from rachel, she rocks hard core and knows what she's talking about!

[JaimeLynne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel I really know how bad it sucks. Let me tell you that when we started having "definitely" turn into "maybe" or the dreaded "oops- i lied" we too became VERY upset. We even talked about giving in and doing a home wedding. Instead we had a long talk and decided that we wanted to do a DW no matter what. We changed our perspective to one of "we will just think about those that come, not those that don't." It was the best move we made. We didn't worry about anyone else and consider them bonuses- not let downs. I hope that once you get past all the intial shock and pissed off feelings you will find the light at the end of the tunnel. I was there too girl- it's possible for it all to turn around. Just keep your head up in the meantime and don't let the assholes rain on your parade.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel We ended up having 18 people (not counting us) come to the wedding. Most that came were my parents' friends whom I have known for forever too. Poor DH didn't really know any of them prior to the wedding. We only had two of our friends make it too! All claimed to be too poor or were not able to save the money up in the end. Soo to sum it up, we invited around 120 people and had 18 come. We were so disappointed in the beginning and felt completely unloved. In the end, we decided to forget about all the negativity. I cried too much and DH felt shitty since he only had his parents and one friend "representing" his side. I won't lie- our feelings were really hurt. However, we didn't plan crap around anyone. Well except my own parents and sister. We chose spring break so they could easily come- my sister is in college and my parents are in the eduaction field. Had we planned specific resorts and times around people and then have them bail, I'm sure I would be furious too. BUT at some point you just have to stop being mad and focus on the good. Otherwise you will be soo miserable until May. I'm not saying you have to stop being mad right now- hell no. Vent, cry, get it all out. Then decided if DW is still in your heart and commit to focusing on you and FI- no one else! Keep positive and let your wedding be a pleasant, wonderful experience!

Have I told you lately how much you ROCK Seriously Rachel, you are such an inspiration - you have the most amazing attitude! (Mind flying into Dallas to give me a swift kick in the butt?! heehee). Honestly, I just adore you and all your words of wisdom.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mummergirl kat, you crack me up! but i have to admit i was thinking the same (i hate the attention too, and it will definitely be cheaper!). i am seriously considering just going with the FREE wedding package now, and taking the 4 or 5 people who do come on a sunset dinner cruise or something for a "reception!"

That sounds like a GREAT plan!!!!

[Hartyt509]

I'm with Kat and wishing the others wont book lol

[SunBride]

That really sucks. We said right from the beginning we were only doing it if our parents and sisters were coming, everyone else (including best man and maid of honour!) were negotiable, but our immediately family was not. Lucky for us none of them (our family that is) backed out, I would have flipped out! Our best man and maid of honour weren't able to come, and that was a huge disappointment (once it was confirmed we decided if they couldn't come, then nobody else would be invited, parents and sisters only) but it wasn't one of our "requirements" so we were able to accept it even though it was a big disappointment.

 

Hopefully you can move past it and enjoy your DW with the few guests who do come.

[jajajaja]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mummergirl WOW. that's insane ... you must have felt so hurt. but your photos tell a story of a perfect, happy wedding ... soooo, if you had it all to do over again, would you have gone this route?

To be honest- absolutely. There is not a moment I regret- except now I kinda feel like I'm carrying resentful feelings towards some of my family members. LIke I get invited to something of theirs and I feel like "why should I go when you don't bother to care about me?" I'm trying to move past that because I definitely don't want to keep walking around like an injured victim. I had a wonderful wedding and I'm trying to feel as if they missed out- not the other way around. I guess I just learned my lesson and I try to keep things in perspective.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abbie rach! i never knew all that back story! or if i did i forgot the deets. that sucks so hard. mummer, take inspiration from rachel, she rocks hard core and knows what she's talking about!

I didn't talk about it much to be honest. My feelings really were hurt by a few family members but I won't get into too much detail. Basically the same story every other couple has- they made other things a priority over my wedding, like taking different vacations a WEEK before my wedding although my family had notice over a year in advance.

I won't say I was perfect in trying to get over it though. Actually, at one point (maybe with like 2-3 months before the wedding) I realized I only had 18 people coming and had a huge break down. I felt like we were spending soo much money on our wedding with no one even there. Steve was a rock and convinced me to stop being stupid. I just kept saying things like "do you know how stupid it will seem to "rent" out LC and only have a handful of people there?" Thankfully, I quickly realized I was crying over something that we couldn't change and ignored my fears of looking like a loser. I decided to have the wedding we wanted regardless of who was there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaimeLynne Have I told you lately how much you ROCK Seriously Rachel, you are such an inspiration - you have the most amazing attitude! (Mind flying into Dallas to give me a swift kick in the butt?! heehee). Honestly, I just adore you and all your words of wisdom.

Aww thanks Jaime. That is really sweet but honestly, I can be so negative sometimes. I'm definitely not perfect in this category. I'm just trying to refocus and work on not freaking out about things that are out of my hands- KWIM?

I'm just happy I can use my own experiences to help other brides focus on the meaningful stuff. It all comes and goes so quickly and its much better to have positive memories to cherish rather than letting all the petty stuff overshadow it all. I can't even tell you how many times I have looked back and wondered why I let stuff bother me. We had so much fun and in the end, I felt like I got a big "told you so" from everyone who encouraged me to keep postive- my mom, sister and Steve. They were the real reason I stayed sane.

[Melissa]

I totally feel for you in all this! We are running into the SAME EXACT thing! But my FI's parents are some of the ones that are complaining! Nothing is more irritating than people all for this DW then coming up with every excuse in the book! I even booked our week when the kids are on Mid winter break and they are STILL making excuses like I do not know if the kids can handle a week on a ship! WHATEVER!!!!!

 

We have decided to just do what we want if people want to come than we will be so happy they are there if they do not than that is fine too but STOP MAKING EXCUSES! Just say we can not make it! I think it is the excuses that kill me!

 

Hang in there and keep counting to 10!