Bridesmaid help!!!

hey guys I really would like some input in this. So in august I went to a destination wedding in the dominican republic. The bride never asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. during rehearsal my boyfriends brother (the groom) said they needed me to be in the wedding because they were a person short. the bride never once addressed the issue. she didn't even thank me. I understand she was stressed during the wedding, it's been a few over a month and still nothing not even a thank you card and we spent over 3,000 going over there. my dilemma is that now iss my turn to be married im going to have a dw as well her husband and my boyfriend are brothers so hes definitely going to be in the wedding. SO DO I ASK HER? I don't want to look mean in front of my boyfriends family. im so torn.

Quote:

Originally Posted by strwbsprkl 
 

hey guys I really would like some input in this. So in august I went to a destination wedding in the dominican republic. The bride never asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. during rehearsal my boyfriends brother (the groom) said they needed me to be in the wedding because they were a person short. the bride never once addressed the issue. she didn't even thank me. I understand she was stressed during the wedding, it's been a few over a month and still nothing not even a thank you card and we spent over 3,000 going over there. my dilemma is that now iss my turn to be married im going to have a dw as well her husband and my boyfriend are brothers so hes definitely going to be in the wedding. SO DO I ASK HER? I don't want to look mean in front of my boyfriends family. im so torn.

If it makes sense (numbers) and you need another girl, sure, ask her.

If you have "your girls" and your numbers match the way you want them to without her in the wedding party... there's no need to ask her. It's not a matter of if she thanked you or not for stepping in as a bridesmaid for her wedding.... if you don't have a strong bond/relationship with her, no one should expect you to ask her. If she's not going to be a supportive BM, etc... don't worry about it.

I said a lot of "No's" throughout this planning process, to family and such..... they get over it.

thank you, i don't need another girl. I was just avoiding awkwardness. lol thank you

coming from asian family and values, I had to invite all family related memebers, even the ones I didn't like.  I think you are kind of obligated to invite her but let your fiance know what happened.  You certainly don't have to have her in your wedding or be friends if you don't feel she's genuine. 

I dont think you are obligated

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by strwbsprkl 

 

hey guys I really would like some input in this. So in august I went to a destination wedding in the dominican republic. The bride never asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. during rehearsal my boyfriends brother (the groom) said they needed me to be in the wedding because they were a person short. the bride never once addressed the issue. she didn't even thank me. I understand she was stressed during the wedding, it's been a few over a month and still nothing not even a thank you card and we spent over 3,000 going over there. my dilemma is that now iss my turn to be married im going to have a dw as well her husband and my boyfriend are brothers so hes definitely going to be in the wedding. SO DO I ASK HER? I don't want to look mean in front of my boyfriends family. im so torn.

 

If it makes sense (numbers) and you need another girl, sure, ask her.

 

If you have "your girls" and your numbers match the way you want them to without her in the wedding party... there's no need to ask her. It's not a matter of if she thanked you or not for stepping in as a bridesmaid for her wedding.... if you don't have a strong bond/relationship with her, no one should expect you to ask her. If she's not going to be a supportive BM, etc... don't worry about it.

 

I said a lot of "No's" throughout this planning process, to family and such..... they get over it.

 

100% agree with you

This is though but one thing I have learned in the process is "yes, people get over it".

If it makes sense to your wedding or you can accommodate without difficulty then I would say absolutely.