I am a MOH

So I am the maid of honor for my very, VERY best friend!! I am honestly super excited about it and knew it would definitely cost me quite a bit. I have been saving for each of the events for a very long time by selling things on eBay and taking care of my neighbors dogs and children whenever I can. When first planning the bridal shower, it was going to be an intimate party of 30-40 women. However, now my best friend and her fiancé have decided to make it a co-Ed wedding shower. I was completely able to throw a smaller party, from invites to food and drink, and every thing in between. Unfortunately, I am now completely overwhelmed and stressed!!!! She wants to invite ALL 160 WEDDING GUESTS, without even running it by me. She sent me the list of invitees as if it was no big deal to change the guest list so drastically. I guess I am just really upset that she would assume such a big change could be handled by me (and literally only me) so easily, when I am a full time student (with no real job.). I am wondering, now that it is a co-ed wedding shower, should the best man help out too!? I honestly don't even know where I could have such an event for so many people. I was originally going to have it at my mom's house but now the party is far too big. The couple vetoed my idea of a public park because they definitely want to have bountiful amounts of alcohol at the shower (no clue where that $ is coming from). Also, the couple does not want actual gifts, only money, so I feel I must now provide even more because people will be offering cash. How can guests so graciously offer cash gifts without receiving decent food,drinks, and entertainment?Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I love her so much but I haven't done this before and any advice would be very much appreciated. How should I talk to her about it?! I know she is my best friend and it should be easy to talk to her about it but I feel embarrassed and a little confused as to how she thinks such a huge party could be done by only me so effortlessly. Also, I have already kindly spoken to he bridesmaids and they really don't have much to offer but their time( which I very much appreciate). If money weren't an issue for me, I'd throw her the most magnificent shower (which is what I was originally prepared to do). Thank you for reading!!!

Welcome to our forum community, janeylove + congrats on being your Very Best Friend's MOH !!!

There's Loads of great advice on these boards, and I wish you all the best with your research and planning the co-ed bridal shower ! .....as well as all your other responsibilities

Best of luck with this awesome celebration and remember to Have FUN!!! Cheers

team MTM asst, Lynda

Hi Janey,

welcome to BDW!

You're going to have to sit down with the bride and have a heart to heart about funding for the shower/party. be honest about what you can afford and what you had in mind. tell her (repeatedly!) that you have saved and worked hard and really want to celebrate with them, but the difference in her thoughts and yours are worlds apart. ask her to brainstorm with you on ways to accomplish the grand soiree she wants - financially, logistically, locations, etc. are they going to pitch in? families? 

it's not going to be an easy conversation, but maybe you'll find she doesn't expect you to pay for the whole thing (which - by the way is completely unrealistic!!!). 

good luck!! 

Originally Posted by janeylove 

So I am the maid of honor for my very, VERY best friend!!
I am honestly super excited about it and knew it would definitely cost me quite a bit. I have been saving for each of the events for a very long time by selling things on eBay and taking care of my neighbors dogs and children whenever I can. When first planning the bridal shower, it was going to be an intimate party of 30-40 women. However, now my best friend and her fiancé have decided to make it a co-Ed wedding shower. I was completely able to throw a smaller party, from invites to food and drink, and every thing in between. Unfortunately, I am now completely overwhelmed and stressed!!!! She wants to invite ALL 160 WEDDING GUESTS, without even running it by me. She sent me the list of invitees as if it was no big deal to change the guest list so drastically. I guess I am just really upset that she would assume such a big change could be handled by me (and literally only me) so easily, when I am a full time student (with no real job.). I am wondering, now that it is a co-ed wedding shower, should the best man help out too!? I honestly don't even know where I could have such an event for so many people. I was originally going to have it at my mom's house but now the party is far too big. The couple vetoed my idea of a public park because they definitely want to have bountiful amounts of alcohol at the shower (no clue where that $ is coming from). Also, the couple does not want actual gifts, only money, so I feel I must now provide even more because people will be offering cash. How can guests so graciously offer cash gifts without receiving decent food,drinks, and entertainment?Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I love her so much but I haven't done this before and any advice would be very much appreciated. How should I talk to her about it?! I know she is my best friend and it should be easy to talk to her about it but I feel embarrassed and a little confused as to how she thinks such a huge party could be done by only me so effortlessly. Also, I have already kindly spoken to he bridesmaids and they really don't have much to offer but their time( which I very much appreciate). If money weren't an issue for me, I'd throw her the most magnificent shower (which is what I was originally prepared to do).

Thank you for reading!!!