How to Honour/Memorial

Hi Ladies,

I have kind of a different how to honour someone question.  Almost 7 years ago my daughter passed away when she was 17 days old.  My friends and family were (and still are) fantastic and there for me through everything.  My best friend actually had a plaque set up at her own wedding saying that in lieu of favours and in honour of Avery they had made donations to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto where Avery spent her life.

I certainly don't want to turn the day into a sad or bad emotion kind of feeling day but I do credit my daughter and her life as short as it was for helping me to become the person I am today.  The experience changed me hugely for the better and I feel that she should be honoured for that.  My fiance never knew her, but he has been supportive in everyway and considers Avery family now too.  He would like us to include Avery in some way in our day.

My question is, how can I do it in a meaningful way that is apparent, but that does not take over the day or freak out some who maybe don't understand since they weren't around during that time in my life (like my fiance's family?)  I have ordered a memorial charm for my bouquet, but I'd like to do something more. 

Any ideas would be welcome.  Thanks!

Lauren  

Originally Posted by MyTye2B 

 

Hi Ladies,

 

I have kind of a different how to honour someone question.  Almost 7 years ago my daughter passed away when she was 17 days old.  My friends and family were (and still are) fantastic and there for me through everything.  My best friend actually had a plaque set up at her own wedding saying that in lieu of favours and in honour of Avery they had made donations to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto where Avery spent her life.

 

I certainly don't want to turn the day into a sad or bad emotion kind of feeling day but I do credit my daughter and her life as short as it was for helping me to become the person I am today.  The experience changed me hugely for the better and I feel that she should be honoured for that.  My fiance never knew her, but he has been supportive in everyway and considers Avery family now too.  He would like us to include Avery in some way in our day.

 

My question is, how can I do it in a meaningful way that is apparent, but that does not take over the day or freak out some who maybe don't understand since they weren't around during that time in my life (like my fiance's family?)  I have ordered a memorial charm for my bouquet, but I'd like to do something more. 

 

Any ideas would be welcome.  Thanks!

 

Lauren  

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and I think it is wonderful that your future husband wants to remember her on this day.

Some beautiful additional ideas to the bouquet charm that I have seen or heard of could include a little sign by your guest book, a note in your program, an empty chair that you can place a flower on (a note in the program could explain it, or a sign on the chair could say, "Reserved for Avery").

I am sure that your FI's family will be understanding, provided that it is seen as a touching remembrance, not a sad focus.

I think a memorial charm is a nice way of honouring your daughter and something I will be doing to honour my grandmother is a white balloon release during the ceremony followed by a brief moment of silence. You can also have a framed picture of her on the guestbook table or the table where you sign the marriage license. 

Another idea, similar to the balloon release, is the sky lanterns. 

what a beautiful detail. a few ideas could be using a votive candle with her name written on it or a small bouquet on an empty chair or even a frame with beautiful words on your guestbook.

Grisell

Weddin cancun by LATIN ASIA

Thank you so much for all of the suggestions so far, ladies.  I'm leaning towards the floating memorial candle with her name on it by the guestbook with some flowers.  Also I would love to do the sky lantern if my resort will allow them.  I will have to find out.  Thanks again for your input. 

I really like the idea of tying the skylanterns in with honoring our love ones that have passed. We were planning on doing skylanterns anyway and I think it would be beautiful to let our guests know they were in memory of our loved ones that have passed and well wishes for the future. We are also doing an At Home Reception and I am still trying to think of a creative way to honor them there.

Originally Posted by Laura2013 

 

I really like the idea of tying the skylanterns in with honoring our love ones that have passed. We were planning on doing skylanterns anyway and I think it would be beautiful to let our guests know they were in memory of our loved ones that have passed and well wishes for the future. We are also doing an At Home Reception and I am still trying to think of a creative way to honor them there.

Oh, good idea about doing something at the AHR... I definitely want to do that now. I was very close with my grandpa, who passed away just shy of a year before we will get married. He lived in the same town that the AHR is in, and my grandma will be there; I know she will appreciate that. 

Only I cannot think of what to do now. Hmmm

I am having a piece of one of my Grandma's dress sewn into my dress as my something blue, we will also be legally married on her birthday. 

Awww that is a great idea and so touching to be married on her birthday.