The save the dates are out and now we are just thinking of eloping...

Ok So here is the deal. The save the dates went out to about 50 households two weeks ago for our March 2013 DR wedding. We figured we would have about 10-15 people attend. After looking at pricing and having some heart to hearts with people. We now realize we are going to have maybe 4 people come down with us. I am sad but I guess I knew that this was a chance we were taking when deciding on a DW.

So now we are thinking of just eloping...either to a resort or maybe head to Florida (we are Canadians) and get married in Frorida and then hoping on a cruise.

I know some people will read this and think I couldn't get married withour my mother, sister, best friend etc. I will say that my mother wasn't coming to the wedding ever, I havn't talked to my sister in a year, it was my best friend's idea for us to just say the hell with it and elope. My grandmother even says we should elope! No one in his family would be attending either. Just a couple friends and my aunt and uncle.

Also I want to say, no one has put any money down.

So my question is....how do we let people know that we are eloping? Do we have to tell people since noone was coming anyway? HELP!

Hi Bailey, Yikes, that's disappointing about out your close friends not being able to go, but if you've spoken to the most important few and they are ok with it then I would just do it! The other 40 STD's you sent probably weren't going to cause people to book anyway. I would just call people, email them or spread by word of mouth that it'll just be the two of you instead of a big thing. Good luck! Laurie

Personally if it was me I wouldn't tell anyone. If your family relationship is that strained and no one was going to come anyway then why stress yoursf out?? This is about you and your fiancé commuting yourselves to one another for the rest of your lives. To hell with everyone else, get your kick @$$ elopement on girl!

Hi Baileybutton,

I have fought this fromt the beginning due to negativity and contemplate just eloping... but im glad i didnt because i have already 18 people booked and still more are booking, My wedding is in July and guest started booking in January... I for sure thought i wouldnt have more than 10 people at most and now i have had nothing but positive and excitment. Are you sure noone will attend? Thats what i thought and look at the outcome.. 
 

Originally Posted by baileybutton 

Ok So here is the deal. The save the dates went out to about 50 households two weeks ago for our March 2013 DR wedding. We figured we would have about 10-15 people attend. After looking at pricing and having some heart to hearts with people. We now realize we are going to have maybe 4 people come down with us. I am sad but I guess I knew that this was a chance we were taking when deciding on a DW.

 

So now we are thinking of just eloping...either to a resort or maybe head to Florida (we are Canadians) and get married in Frorida and then hoping on a cruise.

 

I know some people will read this and think I couldn't get married withour my mother, sister, best friend etc. I will say that my mother wasn't coming to the wedding ever, I havn't talked to my sister in a year, it was my best friend's idea for us to just say the hell with it and elope. My grandmother even says we should elope! No one in his family would be attending either. Just a couple friends and my aunt and uncle.

 

Also I want to say, no one has put any money down.

 

So my question is....how do we let people know that we are eloping? Do we have to tell people since noone was coming anyway? HELP!

 

I would say you just call them.  50 households is not so many that you can't knock out that many phone calls in a day, and this is too sensitive to explain over email or in a letter.  Call them and say, "It seems like the plans for a DR wedding aren't working well for a lot of guests, so we decided to take the pressure off of everyone and just elope!"  People will probably be a combination of relieved and happy for you.  If you want to have a party back home after you get back, this would also be a good time to tell them that you're thinking of planning something like that.  Then just go enjoy yourselves.

Best wishes!

I had the same problem! but stayed true to my dream! now we have 30 people booked! and keep going! good luck! the most important are you and your fiancee!

I don't think it's too sensitive of a subject to email everyone, it is your wedding after all! And it's still really far away!

Have you thought about having an at home reception? Because you could always say to keep the date (or around that date) and have an AHR with invited guests instead. That way anyone that may have been planning on sharing your special day with you might feel less slighted. Good luck! The people that love you will understand deep down, even if (when) they express disagreement or concern!

We are going to have at at home reception. Simply because we knew the "important people" weren't going to be able to come. His brothers/sisters and his dad and my mom etc. I think we are just going to spread the word by email and telephone and then send out a wedding announcement after we come home with the AHR details. We are looking at cruise details now and once we book we will let people know.

I thought destination weddings were supposed to be easier lol

Nicole

bailey,

I think the common misconception is that destination weddings are easier. if you've spent any amount of time on this forum, you'll know they're much, MUCH more difficult. in addition to never really knowing who's coming, everything has to be coordinated remotely, and there are so many hoops to jump through with the legalization of the ceremony, resort policies, etc, etc, etc. that's not to mention communication challenges. I know it'll be worth it, but it's definitely not the easy way out. 

we only have 11 people going, including us. and while I'm disappointed the number isn't closer to 25, I couldn't get married without my family there (they make up the guests, no one from FI's side is coming). honestly, I think it's better for you to elope than hope that the four people make it (and others decide to come). I've been hoping for 1.5 yrs that more would join our wedding, but even after all the communication (STD, invitation, RSVP reminder), we had about 30 non-responders. it was WAY frustrating. those who said they'd come in the beginning either made good on their word or backed out a few months later. as for the others, I never heard from them.

if there's no one you're super-close with and HAVE to have there, I recommend saving yourself all the stress and hassle by eloping. I'd only call the people who said they'd come and wouldn't worry about the others (unless you want to send an email or postcard - I relied on Facebook messages because they were the easiest way to get in touch with everyone). SAVE YOURSELF NOW!! : )

oh, and the coolest AHR idea I saw was sending a wedding announcement combined with AHR details (see http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/product/7336/wedding_announcement_postcards_filigree_collage.html). hopefully that way you'll still get some gifts! : )

good luck with everything.

-kelly

Sorry...I was being sarcastic about DW's being easier! Because it IS a common misconseption people keep saying to me....like "isn't this supposed to be easy" and "you don't really have to do anything" I'm like seriously people...you try are get a bunch of people to shell out $1600.00 per person to go on vacation oh and plan a wedding on top of that!

I KNOW it's not easy

I think I'm just gonna go electronically and let people know....and if someone wants to come along they are welcome to come with us