Irritated that DH does very little for the wedding!!!!

I feel like I'm having a meltdown tonight and needed to express it somewhere. Aside from the long to do list that needs to get done for the wedding, I have a dissertation to write and finish within a month. I am so irritated because any little thing I ask for help with, it's this huge ordeal that makes me feel bad that I even asked my DH to help!! So I end up doing it myself and obviously go nowhere with my dissertation. it's the hugest panic attack EVER. What are you other brides doing to cope with your DH not being as helpful as you would like them to be

At first I was okay with my FI not helping out with the wedding planning.  I go to school full time, and work full time and hardly have any time to spend with my FI, so the time we did spend together I  didn't want to be always constantly talking about the wedding.  But then I realized it is both of our weddings and he should care about it too.  Most of the time the answer I got were " I don't care" or "Do what you want" which sucked cause I wanted some input.  But at the same time I am kind of a control freak so I knew letting hiim do things by himself probaly wouldn't be so good!  In the end I think just sit down with him and explain you are a bit stressed about everything and you need help! Good luck!  And we are always here when you need to vent!

Originally Posted by Amara3CUS 

I feel like I'm having a meltdown tonight and needed to express it somewhere. Aside from the long to do list that needs to get done for the wedding, I have a dissertation to write and finish within a month. I am so irritated because any little thing I ask for help with, it's this huge ordeal that makes me feel bad that I even asked my DH to help!! So I end up doing it myself and obviously go nowhere with my dissertation. it's the hugest panic attack EVER. What are you other brides doing to cope with your DH not being as helpful as you would like them to be

I'm sorry that you're so stressed out! It must be so hard to juggle school, work, and planning a wedding..

My fiance and I have been engaged for almost a year but we are really just in the beginning stages of planning.. I picked the resort (showed him pics and told him about the reviews and he liked so we just immediately booked).. Ive been in contact with our wedding coordinator..I've done our wedding website.. I chose three STD's and together we picked our favorite..

We officially have eleven months to go.. I know it seems like a lot of time but I just feel so unprepared.. He gets upset with me when I get stressed out over "the small stuff".. I just want everything to be perfect.. And lets face it.. It's the small details that make people go WOW! He just wants good food and music..lol..

I learned that its best to bring up things one at a time.. I used to bombard him with every aspect of the wedding and that would lead to fighting.. So now I just break it up.. This weekend we worked on the food menu and finalized our food options for our food tasting/site visit this summer..

To be honest, I thought planning a DW would be less stressful than planning a traditional wedding.. But I guess it's just a different kind of stress..

My advice to you is to just let him know that you need him.. You don't want to not say anything and then have all this built up resentment for your fiance.. As stressful as it is this should also be a happy time for you.. So just be honest and open with him and tell him you need more help!

Good luck and keep us posted!

This seems to be a common problem with brides-to-be, I was also really stressing out about it as well. The only thing you can really do is talk to him about it, but know that he is probably not going to ever be in "full wedding mode". I instead used my sister and close girlfriends for advice, help, etc and that seemed to work a lot better then trying to get my hubby super involved.

My FI has really no input as well, thats how i found this website !! the only person in my bridal party ( my sis) lives 5 hours away so i pretty much on my own....

i no your wedding has past now so im just bumping an old thread lol

CONGRATS !

I don't mind that my FI does not have much input, because I am quite a control freak. So I would do my research and tell him what I want, and if he likes (and he knows he should like it) we go ahead with it I find that it is much easier this way, rather than us arguing about what colour our napkins should be LOL

My fiance is the same way. I recently suggested him picking something that is important to him and letting him be in charge of it but he said he doesn't know. In a way it's good because i have a type A personality so I usually pick a few that i like and have him choose that way we are both getting what we want and I am still in control (LOL). We are in the beginning stages of planning so I'm sure once we get down to the details I will be more frustrated with him not helping me. I am also working full time, doing a master program part time and wedding planning.....a lot of stress 

So ladies, I'm just going to say that in a way it's better they have no input.  For instance my FI told me he wanted to design our save the dates.  I said ok that's awesome so glad you want to be involved.  Well, instead of designing a save the date, he sent me a link to a website where you could order save the dates.  Well, geez thanks, i could've done that on my own!!!!!  MEN!  They're so frustrating!! lol 

LMAO!!! Thats too funny! but frustrating at the same time
 

Originally Posted by brittmcfarlin 

So ladies, I'm just going to say that in a way it's better they have no input.  For instance my FI told me he wanted to design our save the dates.  I said ok that's awesome so glad you want to be involved.  Well, instead of designing a save the date, he sent me a link to a website where you could order save the dates.  Well, geez thanks, i could've done that on my own!!!!!  MEN!  They're so frustrating!! lol 

I'm the same...i would end up giving him control and then end up nit picking or checking what he is doing anyway. He knows this too so he gets involved when i ask and he had certain must haves which i was okay with but other then that he is happy to just leave me with the planning duties. At the end of the day though i try to be fair...its his day too so i ask him if he likes things and for his opinion but I also tried to find ways to embrace the things he is awesome at, like writing!!! so one of his to-do's is write our thank you speaches LOL its an important thing to me to properly thank my guests who have travelled so far and my "hubby to be" is so good with words on paper (he wrote me a song and create a video where he sang it while he played it on guitar for his proposal to me )so i know our speaches will be great! other then that i am doing everything HAHAHAHA
 

Originally Posted by kat2012 

I don't mind that my FI does not have much input, because I am quite a control freak. So I would do my research and tell him what I want, and if he likes (and he knows he should like it) we go ahead with it I find that it is much easier this way, rather than us arguing about what colour our napkins should be LOL

Hey nancya,

We are close to have it all done and he did not tune in yet, and I dont mind it.

Also I find with type A personalities it is very hard to delegate, so I'd rather do all the work and have it done the way I want it, than try to delegate.

 

Originally Posted by nancya 

My fiance is the same way. I recently suggested him picking something that is important to him and letting him be in charge of it but he said he doesn't know. In a way it's good because i have a type A personality so I usually pick a few that i like and have him choose that way we are both getting what we want and I am still in control (LOL). We are in the beginning stages of planning so I'm sure once we get down to the details I will be more frustrated with him not helping me. I am also working full time, doing a master program part time and wedding planning.....a lot of stress