Entertaining guests *without* embarassing bride or groom

[ScorpioBride]

I am currently negotiating with my family when it comes to the wedding reception. They are suggesting that I need to entertain my guests. We are already having a steel pan band play during cocktail hour, and for the reception, we have our best friend acting as the MC. We are having a menu style sit down dinner and open bar. After dinner, I want to open the floor for toasts and speeches. We will have some dancing, more drinking and thats about it.

 

It was supposed to be a suprise but I guessed that my mom was planning a photo slideshow. She already started collecting pictures and involved FMIL who said to my mom that she thought slideshows were for funerals... Which is what I kinda think too. I am not keen on a photo slideshow as its going to involve computers, projectors, audio all sorts of technical things that can go wrong. I suggested a 'caption this photo' game instead that can go on through the evening, where guests write under a photo what the caption should say. My mom wasn't too thrilled about that.

 

Secondly, on my parents side they seem to have the idea that a bride and groom should be embarassed and play games at the wedding. At my cousins wedding they played the newlywed shoe game which was cute, not embarassing and my mom wants us to do that but there are only going to be 15-20 of us and we dont think it will work. I am trying to placate my folks with other ideas, and I'm coming up short, this is a wedding not a circus and I suppose with only 15-20 people I don't see why they will get bored. I don't really want to be embarassed on my wedding day, I mean I'm willing to be silly but I grew up with a family that thinks its funny to put each other down and would always tell me to laugh at myself more... Is it so bad that I don't want humiliating stories and embarassing games on my wedding day? 

 

My parents seem to think its necessary to entertain the guests, but the guests that are coming are very classy people and I don't really want to be embarassed at their expense. I have a good sense of humour but there is a time and place for everything, right? Any suggestions would be GREAT from you all!!!

[JayKay]

I think you need to sit down with your parents and explain that you do not need to entertain your guests.  It is your wedding and you should not be embarrased!! Thats not right!  Maybe you need to explain to your parents how you are feeling about everything and express your wishes.  Also, the slideshow is a very common thing where I'm from.  Every wedding I have been to has had one, but once again, its your wedding and you need to do what you want to do, not what others want you to do!

 

Originally Posted by ScorpioBride 

I am currently negotiating with my family when it comes to the wedding reception. They are suggesting that I need to entertain my guests. We are already having a steel pan band play during cocktail hour, and for the reception, we have our best friend acting as the MC. We are having a menu style sit down dinner and open bar. After dinner, I want to open the floor for toasts and speeches. We will have some dancing, more drinking and thats about it.

 

It was supposed to be a suprise but I guessed that my mom was planning a photo slideshow. She already started collecting pictures and involved FMIL who said to my mom that she thought slideshows were for funerals... Which is what I kinda think too. I am not keen on a photo slideshow as its going to involve computers, projectors, audio all sorts of technical things that can go wrong. I suggested a 'caption this photo' game instead that can go on through the evening, where guests write under a photo what the caption should say. My mom wasn't too thrilled about that.

 

Secondly, on my parents side they seem to have the idea that a bride and groom should be embarassed and play games at the wedding. At my cousins wedding they played the newlywed shoe game which was cute, not embarassing and my mom wants us to do that but there are only going to be 15-20 of us and we dont think it will work. I am trying to placate my folks with other ideas, and I'm coming up short, this is a wedding not a circus and I suppose with only 15-20 people I don't see why they will get bored. I don't really want to be embarassed on my wedding day, I mean I'm willing to be silly but I grew up with a family that thinks its funny to put each other down and would always tell me to laugh at myself more... Is it so bad that I don't want humiliating stories and embarassing games on my wedding day? 

 

My parents seem to think its necessary to entertain the guests, but the guests that are coming are very classy people and I don't really want to be embarassed at their expense. I have a good sense of humour but there is a time and place for everything, right? Any suggestions would be GREAT from you all!!!

 

[skp1]

Yeah, it sounds like you need to have a talk.  It is your wedding so it should be the way you and your FI envision. 

 

I've seen slide shows at all the recent weddings I've been to but my resort is charging way too much for AV equipment so I nixed that.  Instead I bought a nice 8" digital frame and am loading our slide show on that.  Its small but we'll place it prominently and we'll also have it to keep afterwards so I don't feel like I'm wasting money.

 

Honestly, I don't know how games fit into a wedding.  That's what showers are for.  Sure you don't want guests to be bored but they won't be.  You have music, dancing, speeches, etc.  You can have easy, non-embarrassing things like those "table conversation starters"  I've seen them for all sorts of things and its just a list of questions to get people talking.  Or you could create your own.  Another thing we are doing is a photo hunt.  We have a list on each table of things guests should try and find a picture of.  It's not intrusive and people don't have to do it, but its something cute to keep them occupied. 

 

Good luck!

[mexicobride422]

I think you should def talk to your family.. It is your special day and you have every right to have the final say in what activities and events take place..

 

I personally like the idea of a slideshow.. I always cry when I watch them at weddings.. It's just so beautiful to watch the journey of a couple throughout the years and how much they have changed while growing up together.. If we were having a traditional wedding, I know my sister (MOH) def would have tried to surprise me with a slideshow, but now that were having a destination wedding I am not sure how the whole getting the audio/visual devices set up would be.. So I'm going to make a nice slideshow for our wedding website..

 

I personally don't feel like pressure to entertain our guests.. The reception is three hours long, which I know will fly by! Between the first dance, dances with parents, and a four course meal I think the guests will entertain themselves with dancing and drinking and taking pictures..

 

If it's in our budget I would love to have a few fire dancers..

[ScorpioBride]

Thank you all for your replies. I feel MUCH better about the slideshow now that you say that you've seen it done, and it was nice. I've never seen one so I'm willing to give it a chance. Biggest concern is the technical A/V stuff for it, but the idea for the digital photoframe is awesome!

 

At the venue there is also a bar and pool table, so I suppose if people want something to do there is that.  There is also the dancefloor, areas to take photos and mingle. I talked to my folks and I think games are out the window- they still would like to surprise up with something and it may take a while to convince them to do it at the welcome dinner instead. But they do see our point now. Since we are having an open bar, I think people will be very entertaining as it is! So we will have ceremony w/music, cocktail hour w/music, dinner and conversation starters, speeches/toasts, photos and dancing. Sounds like so much already. If anyone has any more ideas (photo hunt was VERY clever) please share!

[skp1]

I forgot to mention that my fiancé wanted to do the newlywed game format for our ceremony! He also is of the opinion we have to constantly entertain. Luckily I won that battle. I told him he can do whatever he wanted at the reception but the ceremony is a pretty serious moment. I think guests just want a short ceremony so they can get to the bar.

[jwilson]

my advice? do what you're comfortable with. With destination weddings, your guests will have already interacted with each other that conversations will be free and flowing and there really is no need for "entertainment". just get them to dance and party the night away!