Bridal Shower Etiquette - Who to invite???

[sarcrook]

Not sure what to do - my MIL is going to be putting on my shower.  She's thinking of having the shower AFTER the wedding BEFORE the AHR because she wants to invite guests that are not invited to the Destination Wedding but are invited to the AHR.  I don't think we need to do that after the wedding - I feel we can invite anybody from either list and have it before...

 

Any thoughts on this??  Can past brides share what they did???

 

If you had your shower before your Destination Wedding and invited all guests can you tell me how you worded it?  I'm trying to figure out how to explain to my MIL that it's ok..it's a Destination Wedding..things are different...???

 

H E L P!!!  I DO NOT want to wait and have shower after wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hopefully this makes sense..I feel it seems a bit confusing...

[jkhowell]

I would think that having the shower after the wedding is ridiculous. I would just make sure that if you can convince her to have to shower before the wedding, that the people invited have already received an invite for AHR. So they dont feel left out. If you have not determined an AHR exact date, then just make sure you send those people on the guest list for your shower a save the date with a statement at the bottom saying something like "there will be a a local reception after the wedding....date to be determined".

[DramaticAnnie]

I agree with the poster here, make sure they have received the AHR invitation or know of it, and include a little note about it on the shower invitation.. I really can't see how a bridal shower would even work if the guest of honor is already married??

 

 

Originally Posted by jkhowell 

I would think that having the shower after the wedding is ridiculous. I would just make sure that if you can convince her to have to shower before the wedding, that the people invited have already received an invite for AHR. So they dont feel left out. If you have not determined an AHR exact date, then just make sure you send those people on the guest list for your shower a save the date with a statement at the bottom saying something like "there will be a a local reception after the wedding....date to be determined".

 

[Avelyad]

I agree too. You def want to make sure that people who are not invited to the DW have received an invite to the AHR, even if it's informal at this point.

[cGd41812]

I was thinking the same thing.  We only invited CLOSE friends and family to our DW but we will be be having an AHR for everyone else.  I do like the ideas of having the Save the Date on the bridal shower invite, I am going to have to tell my mom to do that.  Im just undecided on who to invite to the bridal shower?  We invited about 70 people to our DW and we got about 40 booked.  But our AHR will be 150-200 guests.  I was thinking of just inviting from the original 70.  What do u think?

[swojdyla]

I am inviting everyone to my shower. I am not having an AHR so the way I see it was. I love everyone, and everyone was invited to the wedding but I understand you can't make the wedding given the destination. So I would expect people to make an attempt to come to my shower. Is that rude of me? lol

[Mwise17]

No, I don't think its rude at all.  I was thinking the same thing....I seriously feel a little bad for the people coming to the wedding!  I don't know if I am over thinking it, but I don't want them to think it is too much...if it were up to me I wouldn't have a shower anyway, but my FMIL sounds like she is not budging on it.

???

[swojdyla]

Why do you feel bad for the guests attending the wedding? They are going to have the time of their life!! However we are asking our guests that are able to attend NOT to bring a gift. So I guess I feel bad for them too! lol But I know the wedding is going to be amazing!

[Mwise17]

lol....I feel bad asking the people that are coming to the wedding to also attend a wedding shower for me before we go.....I just don't want them to think they have to get me gift AND come to the wedding...as we all know, the destination weddings are not like getting married at home, comes with a price tag that can be steep for some.

[swojdyla]

O the topic of who to invite...what do you guys think about inviting your TA? My TA is my sister's friend's long time boyfriend.  This is not a close friend of my sister but a friend from high school.  Lets just say if I had a hometown wedding I probably won't invite them. But the TA has done a great job for us and our moto has been the more the merrier but I don't want my TA to feel obligated. I just want it to be a friendly invite that if they want to come they can. Does this make sense?