My Sister-zilla........what are your thoughts on this?

[Janet1480]

So maybe I am crazy....and you ladies can tell me if I am LOL

 

My sister is quite a few years older then I am. she has been with her FI for over 15 years and they never got married or had kids......

 

I announced my engagement in December and FI and I are getting married in October and now ALL OF A SUDDEN more then 15 years later she is getting married and rushing to plan it all and has decided to have her wedding before mine

 

WTF!!!! Am i crazy to be angry/frustrated about this?

[Janet1480]

Oh and shall I mention that she has completely disregarded my wedding! She hasnt asked me about planning, has not been available for any dress shopping etc (she is my MOH by the way) and she asked me yesterday to design her wedding invitations and help her decorate her hall and pick her menu and it needs to be done ASAP because her wedding is in a few months

 

*sigh* ...ok! so that was a bit of a vent too LOL

[snowbeltchick]

I'm sorry.  My sister is older than me and has been with her man for over 10 years.  She was pissed when I first told her I was engaged (my fiance and I have been together 8 years) .  She came around eventually, but I was upset at first.

 

I think it is completely understandable to be frustrated or angry with the situation.  I hope it gets better.  Last year, two of my cousins were getting married.  The older brother got pissed off that the younger brother was getting married before him and refused to go to his wedding!  It is sad what people do sometimes.

[clgriffi7]

I would be upset about this.  My recommendation would be to tell her that you are sad (not mad!)that as your MOH she hasn't been participating in your wedding planning.  I would tell her that you understand she is quite busy planning her wedding in such a short period of time (don't tell her your assumption is that she is jealous and rushing to the altar)...but that you hope she can participate more after she is married. 

 

If you two were otherwise close, then I think she needs to know she has made you upset by ignoring your wedding.  I dont' think it will do any good to teel her your hypothesis on the timing of her wedding - as that likely wouldn't bother you if she were still participating fully and was excited about your wedding.

 

Originally Posted by Janet1480 

Oh and shall I mention that she has completely disregarded my wedding! She hasnt asked me about planning, has not been available for any dress shopping etc (she is my MOH by the way) and she asked me yesterday to design her wedding invitations and help her decorate her hall and pick her menu and it needs to be done ASAP because her wedding is in a few months

 

*sigh* ...ok! so that was a bit of a vent too LOL

[Janet1480]

Yes, its very sad how people react. Its worse when they dont even realize what they are doing. I'm not letting it ruin my wedding planning fun and experience but it doesnt make it less annoying or frustrating

 

Originally Posted by snowbeltchick 

I'm sorry.  My sister is older than me and has been with her man for over 10 years.  She was pissed when I first told her I was engaged (my fiance and I have been together 8 years) .  She came around eventually, but I was upset at first.

 

I think it is completely understandable to be frustrated or angry with the situation.  I hope it gets better.  Last year, two of my cousins were getting married.  The older brother got pissed off that the younger brother was getting married before him and refused to go to his wedding!  It is sad what people do sometimes.

[Janet1480]

You're right, if she was still interested and participating in my wedding then maybe i wouldnt be as annoyed in this situation.
As much as i agree and would like to express my feelings (in a non judgemental and gentle way) My sister is unfortuantely the type of person who over reacts to everything and would likely freak out and turn the tables on me. She is a drama queen <---- that my friends is an understatement. LOL dont get me wrong....My sister has a lot of great qualities and is a very loving person and i love her dearly but she doesnt think before she speaks or acts and is a little bit selfish.  She creates her own drama. I think either way though, so i can enjoy my wedding planning and get on with it I will have to take my chances and tell her how I feel anyways.

 

Thanks for your comments and opinion. Its nice to get outside perspectives because its nice to know you arent reacting throguh emotionally crowded feelings
 

Originally Posted by clgriffi7 

I would be upset about this.  My recommendation would be to tell her that you are sad (not mad!)that as your MOH she hasn't been participating in your wedding planning.  I would tell her that you understand she is quite busy planning her wedding in such a short period of time (don't tell her your assumption is that she is jealous and rushing to the altar)...but that you hope she can participate more after she is married. 

 

If you two were otherwise close, then I think she needs to know she has made you upset by ignoring your wedding.  I dont' think it will do any good to teel her your hypothesis on the timing of her wedding - as that likely wouldn't bother you if she were still participating fully and was excited about your wedding.

 

 

[Lizk23]

Sorry to hear that! I would just try to make her feel like it's a GOOD thing you're both getting married around the same time and it will be a lot of fun to plan things together and help each other out with different ideas and aspects! It's not a competition after all, both of your days will be equally special and wonderful! A friend of mine is getting married this summer and I'm getting married next January so we like to get coffee and go shopping together to talk about and look at different wedding stuff. I hope things get better and your MOH helps you out more! Good luck planning =D

[Janet1480]

Thanks Lizk23

 

I would LOVE if we could bounce ideas off each other and share in the wedding planning experience, it would be nice to have my sister participate. I invited her dress shopping with the other BM's but she decided not to come because she felt like wedding dress shopping for herself that day instead...she didnt have an apt to do this ahead of time and it wasnt planned. I actually expressed to her that since i am her MOH and she is mine and we are sisters that it would have been nice to share in her wedding dress shopping experience with her (trying to put a posiitive spin on things) and she said "its not a big deal" so she didnt come. I am usually not one to complain about these types of situations. But she isnt making it easy! I hope she will come around and since her wedding is in May, hopefully she will be more active in my planning from May to October. On the bright side, I am taking the high road....I am helping her with her planning, designing her invitations and i am going to do what i can to make her day as special as it should be!

 

Originally Posted by Lizk23 

Sorry to hear that! I would just try to make her feel like it's a GOOD thing you're both getting married around the same time and it will be a lot of fun to plan things together and help each other out with different ideas and aspects! It's not a competition after all, both of your days will be equally special and wonderful! A friend of mine is getting married this summer and I'm getting married next January so we like to get coffee and go shopping together to talk about and look at different wedding stuff. I hope things get better and your MOH helps you out more! Good luck planning =D

[shan0487]

I'm sorry to hear your sister is acting that way.  I would definelty talk to her and tell her it is making you upset that she doesn't seem to care about your wedding.  You understand she is planning a wedding as well, but you could do stuff together to make things easier.  Stress the fact (if you are) helping her for her wedding and she isn't even interested in your wedding what so ever! I hope you work it out!

[Janet1480]

Thanks...I'm going to have a chat with her this weekend and see how it goes *fingers crossed*

 

Otherwise, it is what it is! I cant change who she is so i will just enjoy my planning without her and just be there for her wedding as much as i can

 

Originally Posted by shan0487 

I'm sorry to hear your sister is acting that way.  I would definelty talk to her and tell her it is making you upset that she doesn't seem to care about your wedding.  You understand she is planning a wedding as well, but you could do stuff together to make things easier.  Stress the fact (if you are) helping her for her wedding and she isn't even interested in your wedding what so ever! I hope you work it out!