Invitations, STDs, and a heck of a lot of guilt, help :(

[Liss2626]

Since letting some people know we were planning a destination wedding, we've received some negative feedback from a few friends and family, namely "who do they think they are expecting us to spend that much? along with constant reminders that "no one will want to come."

 

I know I'm not alone. I was planning to send STDs to everyone (about 150ppl) I would invite to an "at home" wedding because I wouldn't want to leave anyone out. I do NOT expect even a quarter of those people to attend, but I still wanted them to feel included, if that makes sense. (We are not having an at home reception for money reasons, but my mom is throwing me a bridal shower.)

 

In an effort to help my friends and family understand that I don't expect ANYTHING from them (even a gift if they can't come, I don't want people to think I'm gift grabbing by inviting) I wanted to include a little note/poem enclosed with the STDs that basically says "We know you will be with us in spirit if you aren't able to make it, we know having a wedding in Punta Cana makes it difficult to attend, we would love it if you were able to come but understand if you can't, don't feel like you have to send a gift," WITHOUT sounding so tacky! Is there a more eloquant way to say these things? I'm really losing sleep over this because I don't want people thinking I expect the world from them. This wedding is about me, my fiance, and our little girl (and one on the way).

 

Help? Anyone?

 

Liss

[clgriffi7]

I don't have advice for great wording, but on our wedding website I have a line in there that says "Hopefully some of you will be able to join us in Cancun and enjoy a great vacation!"

 

How about something like:  "We have always dreamed of getting married on the beach and here's our chance!  We understand that our dream will mean that some of our friends and family will not be able to join us for our special day.  However, we hope that some of you can make attending our wedding part of a great vacation to the Dominican Republic."

 

I would not mention the gifts.  It seems that any mention of gifts can be found offensive by someone.

 

There are always going to be people that find a problem with couples having a Destination Wedding.  And as long as the bride and groom don't make anyone feel guilty for not being able to come, then why should they care?  I think working the word "dream" into your statement will hush some people up.  How can tehy complain about your dream?

[dcairns]

Believe me , you'll never please everyone, just remember this is your day. And if the most important people are with you then that is all that matters.

 

I wrote this on my reply cards. Made a nice statemnt then made the reply options a little "fun":

 

 

Please know that you have received this invitaiton because you have touched our lives. If you cannot attend, we know that you have our best wishes in mind and we thank you for that.

 

 

Name: _______________________________________

Number of people attending: ________________

 

_____ You "beach'ya", we will be there!

 

_____ Out to sea, we must wave your invitation, but we will be thinking of you

 

_____ Please email inforamtion the resort

 

email: ____________________________________________ 

[breeze616]

I also believe that you should simply include all information about gifts and your reasons why you chose a DW on your wedding website. You will always encounter those who are 'against' destination weddings and will harp on you no matter what you say. Just keep reminding yourself that you are not doing anything wrong by having a DW, there are tons of us out there who do this and those who do attend have the time of their lives!!! There is nothing quite like a DW and you are bringing an amazing experience to those who do come.

 

Stay positive and stick to your guns. You will not regret your decision, no matter how many negative remarks you encounter.

 

Happy Planning!

[Liss2626]

Wow, everyone - thank you SO much for your quick replies. I appreciate your kind words and your great suggestions, really

Did any of you include your wedding website information on your STDs?

[clgriffi7]

Here is a not very clear version of our save the dates.  We made small magnets on Vistaprint along with a postcard (in matte) and mailed in their envelopes.  We made 75 for ~$51 (including shipping).  We put our wedding website on both the postcard and the magnet.  If you have any further questions, just let me know.

 

[Liss2626]

 

 

Originally Posted by clgriffi7 

 

Here is a not very clear version of our save the dates.  We made small magnets on Vistaprint along with a postcard (in matte) and mailed in their envelopes.  We made 75 for ~$51 (including shipping).  We put our wedding website on both the postcard and the magnet.  If you have any further questions, just let me know.

 

 

 

WOW! They look awesome. I will def be checking out VistaPrint.  Are you sending out formal invites as well, or are you just doing the whole RSVP information online? (Seems convienant enough...). I still have to get our wedding website up and running! Although I do have until June 2012. Another question for you - we are doing Dreams Punta Cana - did you work with your WC to arrange the rehearsal dinner/rehearsal for the wedding? Is any of that included in the "all inclusive" part? Liss

 

[soon2bmrspierce]

I experienced the same problem.My own mother wasspend the money to come to our wedding. and still is a little negative over the whole destination wedding idea.She expressed the same concerns to me that:" how can I put that on peope to spend all that money to see me get married".I just keep pep talking myself that this is what we want.We want to get married some where tropical near the beach and have it as simpe as possible.Plus we are paying for it(def cheaper to have destination wedding i think).

 

I was wondering the same thing if I should extend the save the dates to people I would of invited if it was an at home wedding?Even if I really don't think they'd come.I wouldnt want it to backfire and have a huge  destination wedding that I didn't budget myself for.lol

 

On the back of my save the date postcards(I'm at work so don't have exact words with me,I'll msg u later with it) I wrote that I understand that with a destination wedding I know mand won't be able to come and we respect and understand if you can't.I also put to visit our wedding website to leave a tentative reply.I had read on here somewhere that bride had did this and she  sent an invatation to the peope who replied yes.Thought this was a good idea so might do thngs that way too.

 

 

I feel the same way,this wedding is about us and what we want!!!(I have 2 children from previous and think destination wedding was perfect for them too to experience)
 

Originally Posted by Liss2626 

Since letting some people know we were planning a destination wedding, we've received some negative feedback from a few friends and family, namely "who do they think they are expecting us to spend that much? along with constant reminders that "no one will want to come."

 

I know I'm not alone. I was planning to send STDs to everyone (about 150ppl) I would invite to an "at home" wedding because I wouldn't want to leave anyone out. I do NOT expect even a quarter of those people to attend, but I still wanted them to feel included, if that makes sense. (We are not having an at home reception for money reasons, but my mom is throwing me a bridal shower.)

 

In an effort to help my friends and family understand that I don't expect ANYTHING from them (even a gift if they can't come, I don't want people to think I'm gift grabbing by inviting) I wanted to include a little note/poem enclosed with the STDs that basically says "We know you will be with us in spirit if you aren't able to make it, we know having a wedding in Punta Cana makes it difficult to attend, we would love it if you were able to come but understand if you can't, don't feel like you have to send a gift," WITHOUT sounding so tacky! Is there a more eloquant way to say these things? I'm really losing sleep over this because I don't want people thinking I expect the world from them. This wedding is about me, my fiance, and our little girl (and one on the way).

 

Help? Anyone?

 

Liss

 

[soon2bmrspierce]

We did vista print too.We got the 100 postcards for free as well as 25 small magnets for free.Oh and we got 140 adress labels for free too!Love vista print!

[soon2bmrspierce]

We included on our wedding website on the postcards & magnets.On our website we made a little section as to" why we chose paradise for our wedding"?We just explained that we had always wanted to get married on the beach with the tropical setting as our background.We also mentioned that this choice is more afforfdable for us to have the wedding of our dreams and we respect and understand if guets can't make it...