... disappointed

[Amanda+Dave]

So, we sent out invitations to our Nov. 18, 2011 wedding more than a month ago. The reply period expired like two weeks ago and we have received only a small portion back. Mostly no's from people who had said they would come.

It's just so frustrating! I mean I know with a destination wedding you can't expect everyone to go. But oyu do expect some people.

We have only three yesses back, we know there are more coming, but we really thought we would have 25-30 people coming.

I can't even get my own sister, my only sibling, to reply ... that's a whole other story in itself though.

And what makes it worse is that some people are mad we are doing this. It's like, it's our wedding and this is how we have dreamed it. Let us do what we want.

Sorry, just had to get that out. I am just so mad right now.

FI is at the point where he is saying let's just scrap the whole thing and elope ... but that's not what I want. Yes i wanted a small wedding on the beach, yes that is what we will have, I just thought certain people would be there to share in the celebration.

[Andi]

wait, your wedding isn't until November 2011? So about a year away?

 

Is there a reason you have to have people RSVP so early?!

 

Are rates/flights out already for November 2011?

 

I had people booking flights and hotel for our wedding 3 days before we left. Yep that is right, they never RSVP'd or anything pretty much just showed up. That just goes to show you that people are probably not quite ready to book/commit to going to your wedding just yet.

[cookiemunchkin]

I agree with Andi.  Its still so far that people may not know what their finances or job situation is going to look like at that time.  Dont worry!  Maybe let everyone know that you just needed an initial RSVP to work out group rates, etc and that you need a proper RSVP and confirmation sometime in the first part of 2011.  I know I personally would not be able to commit to a trip so far out so its very possible thats how your guests are as well.

 

If it helps you any with your planning, all of our guests booked (on an early booking group rate) about 5 months before our wedding.

[Amanda+Dave]

The reason we are asking for replies so early is because we are renting villas. So we need to know how many we need etc. We have made deposits up front to hold one so far, but the others can fill up and then we would be left without accommodations for some of the guests.

If people are not sure, then they should at least have the decency to call or e-mail one of us to let us know they are not sure, but want to come. That's what I am so annoyed about.

I know we are asking a lot from people, but they could at least let us know. A few people have done and we are fine with it. One friend is trying to work out some finances but really wants to come. We are fine with that.

If we were doing a resort thing, then ya, people can book last minute ... but not with this.

[JUSTUSTWO]

I agree with both ladies. We all know how important an rsvp date is but keep in mind that date is only important to you & it is still early. Unfortunately, I think it is pretty common for people to either not rsvp at all or not rsvp in a timely manner & this has happened with people that I know who got married at home so the same is to be expected with a DW. 

 Don't let the lack of rsvp's deter you or cause you to change your plans for a DW. I also had lots of people tell me they would attend my DW when I was in the planning stages & then once I sent out invitations, those same people changed their mind & did not attend. But at the same time, I had people who I thought would not attend, surprise me and made the trip with us. Either way, people will book next year & probably up until the week before your wedding. 

 

 & at&    aadYou will have a great group & I can honestly say from my past experience that whether you have 2, 10, 20 or 30 you will have a great time.

 

[Mel2010]

Hey Amanda,

 

I hear your frustration. I wanted to get married last winter but put it off because too many friends were pregnant, planning to get pregnant or couldn't attend due to finances. This year, I have changed my mentality. I am getting married for ME and my FI only. I'm happy if it's just the two of us...or if the whole family shows up. Either way, it's just the two of us, on a beach, saying our vows and taking each moment in and making the best of it. Don't fret on ppl who can or can't make it. People change their minds all the time! The girls are right, those you think won't make it--will, and those you hope make it--won't, lol! Just remember that this day is for YOU and your FI!! That's what counts the most! ♥

[JR14]

I completely agree with everyone's comments so far... I think being 1yr away people just don't know and don't realize the importance of informing a bride of these things in advance!!  *geez!!*

is there a chance people can decide later and arrange/book their own villas a few months from now?

 

ps - i got engaged in Dundas, ON when me and my now FI went skydiving at SWOOP!

[MrsJones2Be]

I agree with the previous comments. It is hard for most people to plan a year in advance. Don't lose hope though, unfortunately many people are procrastinators and they will wait to book until later next year. I hope it all works out for you.

[DanielleNDerek]

Amanda your in a tough spot because 1. people don't rsvp and 2. you kinda do need an idea since your getting villas.  Are you going to see a lot of the important people during the holidays?  If so I would just straight out tell them your situation about needing at least an informal headcount for the villas and then ask if they are going.  It seems like a lot of people no they can't go but are afraid to say it, i'm not saying in yoru situation but it seems the case for a lot of it.  So maybe stress to them, that you would completely understand if they can't go but you really would just like to know if they have decided.  Goodluck!

[hamme]

 

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek 

Amanda your in a tough spot because 1. people don't rsvp and 2. you kinda do need an idea since your getting villas.  Are you going to see a lot of the important people during the holidays?  If so I would just straight out tell them your situation about needing at least an informal headcount for the villas and then ask if they are going.  It seems like a lot of people no they can't go but are afraid to say it, i'm not saying in yoru situation but it seems the case for a lot of it.  So maybe stress to them, that you would completely understand if they can't go but you really would just like to know if they have decided.  Goodluck!

 

 

Perfect! I was going to suggest calling your top 20 people and explaining that you need an idea to make sure there are enough accommodations but if you can wait until the holidays that might be easier.

 

Is there something you can negotiate with the villas to reserve them until a specific date- that way if you booked too many they have time to still rent them out?