Family/Bridal Party Dilemma

jenleah · August 28, 2010

I just went back home (4 hours away from where I currently live) this weekend to see my mom and dad and buy my wedding dress. It was the first time I had seen my dad since I got engaged (he and my mother are divorced and he is remarried). Anyway, I told him, my stepmom and my half-sister about the wedding and wanting to do a destination wedding. We talked about who my bridesmaids were, colors, etc...general wedding stuff. They didn't really seem all that interested, which is what I expected (my father and I aren't that close). Well, today I get a voicemail from my dad after I had been to the dress shop asking me to include my 11-year-old half-sister in the wedding..."it would really mean a lot to her". I have already picked out my bridesmaids...and asked them...and there are 5 of them. That, to me, is a pretty big wedding party in itself with our 5 groomsmen. I guess I could make her a junior bridesmaid, but it's not what I want and I would only be doing it as a favor to my dad. I really don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions?

murmel · August 29, 2010

Perhaps she can have a special role on the day of your wedding. Have breakfast with you and your bridesmaids and get her nails done. Or perhaps she can do a reading. Just because your dad wants you to include her, doesn't mean that you have to, or that she has to be a bridemaid. She's only 11, she likely doesn't want to hang around with you all day anyway.

jenleah · August 29, 2010

She could do a reading...and help with us getting ready. I think that would be nice. I didn't mean to sound so crass about not wanting to have her in the wedding. It's just that my FI has 3 younger sisters also and I wouldn't want them to feel left out either. I love my sister, she's just at that age where she's a little hard to get along with. Thank you for the suggestion. I really appreciate it.

murmel · August 29, 2010

You don't sound harsh at all. I can understand how frustrating having to change your plans might be. Plus if FI has 3 younger sisters, it makes it a tricky situation. Perhaps invite all 4 girls to join you at breakfast and make sure they are included in the family photos after, but leave it at that, to make sure no one is offended! And I don't know if you plan on writing a wedding day letter/card for your future husband. But perhaps they can be the special messangers and deliver the note to him.

mimi73 · August 29, 2010

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Originally Posted by murmel

You don't sound harsh at all. I can understand how frustrating having to change your plans might be. Plus if FI has 3 younger sisters, it makes it a tricky situation. Perhaps invite all 4 girls to join you at breakfast and make sure they are included in the family photos after, but leave it at that, to make sure no one is offended! And I don't know if you plan on writing a wedding day letter/card for your future husband. But perhaps they can be the special messangers and deliver the note to him.

I agree. Including all of them in the preparation of the day, or time at the spa will be special enough. I have 3 adult age sisters, and FI has 1, and none of them are in my wedding party.... and I LOVE them all. I just needed to draw the line somewhere!
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