Bridesmaids driving me slightly nuts

Hoosierfan · July 18, 2009

I just had to vent before I take it out on someone nearby. My BMs are driving me nuts. I have 7 of them and I love them all dearly; however, it seems that I've had to change my wants to suit their life situations - and I think b/c I'm having a DW, I feel I owe it to them. I wanted to do my bachelorette in Vegas, but that got lukewarm reviews b/c of expense (my BMs live all over the place). Now I'm having a bachelorette/shower in Chicago and another shower in Denver (to accommodate them and curb expense). Not what I wanted, but it seemed to at least get me near my goal (which was to have everyone together).

The kicker is that out of 7, I was a bridesmaid or maid of honor for 4 of them (and 2 are not yet married). I threw multiple showers, attended out of town bachelorette parties - whatever made them happiest. I have to say, I was a darn good bridesmaid. Now I feel like it's finally my turn, and I'm an afterthought. And 3 of them JUST had babies in the last 45 days, so they are not attending anything that is not in their hometown (which is most stuff).

The last thing that almost made me lose it is that my bachelorette/shower is in a month (in a different city where people will have to travel) and the invitations are yet to go out.

I know this is my fault for caving, but part of me just wants to scream "Suck it up bridesmaids!". The moral is "do unto others as you would have done unto you, but don't expect to get the same in return or you will be very disappointed"!

End of rant. I can stop typing so hard now!

EDSROSA · July 19, 2009

Sorry to hear that, but you are right. It seems that you go above and beyond for people and they cant return the favor. Try not to let it get to you.

mimosa123 · July 19, 2009

well i do understand where your bridesmaids are coming from in reference to all of the traveling that is involved in addition to leaving thew country for your wedding. However, I think you can still have a fab bachelorette party in your hometown..i wouldn't scale back at all either.

flbluiiis · July 19, 2009

I can totally understand your frustration. The ladies that just had the babies...you might want to give them a little slack though. I can tell you, that having a baby is really hard, especially at first. Being a 1st time mom in the first 6 months...heck even after that, is really tough to get figured out. I'm not saying that they shouldn't still make every effort to be the best damn bridesmaid possible, if they can't be there in person, then they should make more effort in the planning and cost end of the showers/bach-ette parties.

Hoosierfan · July 20, 2009

I just needed to gripe and get it out, so thanks for letting me! They're all wonderful and I love them dearly - I just can't vent to any of them. And, I think I've been pretty understanding and flexible to my new mom's and those out of town - it's just hard when it's finally your turn (and I'm probably the last of to get married within my friend group) and people don't seem as committed as you were when it was their turn because they are in different places in their lives. I just have to suck it up too!

mich999 · July 21, 2009

Hoosierfan - I went through the exact same thing. I love all my bridesmaids still too, even though a couple disappointed me on a few things. I was the last of the group to be married and I felt like some forgot what you were supposed to do as a bridesmaid and/or forgot how much I did for them for weddings, babies, etc. It sounds like you have a great attitude and just needed to vent. Good luck!!

flbluiiis · July 21, 2009

I can only hope that my ladies put as much effort into my day as I did theirs....but alas I too am one of the last to be married! When I was a bridesmaid in the 1st wedding, it was my cousin's and my mom told me that it was my job to make sure the bride had everything she needed. I was there for her 1st and then for me 2nd....I guess I really took that to heart because she still teases me about being her mini shadow for the day, she said I was the best bridesmaid because I was always just a glace away if she needed anything I tried to make sure I was like that for every wedding I was in after that, even when the flower girl broke my big toe nail 1/2 off right before walking down the aisle in wedding #2 lol

orionandmari072510 · August 5, 2010

It does suck how people are non supportive when their turn arrives to be BMs, etc. And not only that...for weddings in general. I have always been supportive of friend's weddings and a lot of the persons in which i sent gifts and attended did not do a thing for me. I just learned after that to just give my congrats to people when these things happen and be there for those who are there for me.

Originally Posted by flbluiiis

I can only hope that my ladies put as much effort into my day as I did theirs....but alas I too am one of the last to be married! When I was a bridesmaid in the 1st wedding, it was my cousin's and my mom told me that it was my job to make sure the bride had everything she needed. I was there for her 1st and then for me 2nd....I guess I really took that to heart because she still teases me about being her mini shadow for the day, she said I was the best bridesmaid because I was always just a glace away if she needed anything I tried to make sure I was like that for every wedding I was in after that, even when the flower girl broke my big toe nail 1/2 off right before walking down the aisle in wedding #2 lol