Should we be paying for the off-property guest day passes

My fiance and I don't agree on this. I think since they are already paying a bunch of money to come to our wedding, we could pick up the cost of the guest day passes. He thinks that if they want to ignore where we "told" them to stay, then they can pay for it. I understand that paying for everybody could get expensive fast but as of now there's only 5 people who are considering not staying at the resort and we get 4 complimentary passes with our wedding package. My cousin lost her husband earlier this year and is thinking about coming with her two little kids. The resort doesn't allow kids under 14 so they can't even stay there if they want to. I also feel like we should pick up their passes since we chose a resort they couldn't stay at. Since she lost her husband, my parents are looking into staying with her at a villa nearby.

 

I don't think it'll be an issue to pick up one guest pass but do you draw a line? Do you pay for everybody? Do you make it known that they have to pay an extra $100 if they stay off property and how would you do that tactfully?

I would do the passes for them - they're family and have a special situation. Other friends who chose to stay at a different resort - I agree with your fiance. By choosing another resort, they would have to realize there will be an extra cost to attend your wedding at your resort.

Just my opinion

Ditto.

I think the feelings are mixed on the topic of who picks up the tab for guest passes, so whatever you decide is up to you. I personally, would do what SandalGirl has suggested and help your friend out while telling other people to pick up the tab for their guest passes.

I think your cousin has a special situation and you can pay or use the free guest passes for her. But, I think your parents should stay at the resort because they might need to be around for other events, etc, and to keep getting day passes for them would be expensive. Your friends should be warned about the day pass and should stay at your resort or pay for it themselves. How different can these resorts be, I've stayed at a few and they don't seem so different. Remind your friends you all want to be able to hang out at the same place.

My parents are only staying off-property because they want to stay with my cousin (since she'll be traveling alone with two kids). Until she started checking into going they were going to stay at the resort. I'm fine with this if it lets my cousin be there. They are also looking into renting a villa and not staying at another resort. I definitely think we can pick up their extra pass if we need one (I don't see why a 3 year old should be charged the same as an adult). Especially since she can't even stay at the resort if she wanted too since she has the kids.

I just wasn't sure what to do about other guests if they start deciding to stay somewhere else. This shouldn't be a problem for the most part. I think most of my fiance's family has booked already and I know they're staying at the resort. I might have another friend come and stay at a different resort because of the cost issue. We didn't pick a really expensive resort because we wanted it to be easier on guests but she's finishing up her masters and just can't do $300-350 a night - I was in the same position last year so I totally understand. Plus, if she comes she'll be my MOH!

Thanks for the advice guys! Now I don't feel as bad telling people they'll have to pick up their own passes if they don't stay at the resort (with the obvious exception of my cousin and maybe MOH).

I think that's very sweet of you to do that for your cousin.

I think it is so wonderful that you are being so thoughtful and kind especially in regards to your cousin and MOH. If you know they can't financially swing it, and you can, then pay for it. It's such a lovely gesture and they will appreciate it more than you'll know.

I think your family is a special situation, just don't advertise that you will be picking up the tab for them to come onto the property. Anyone else who decides to stay elsewhere, I think it is up to them to foot the bill. Bc as your fiance said, they knew that by not staying at your resort they would have to pay a visiting guest fee. You may also want to check with your wc about the day passes and prices. Like at our resort if the people come within 30 mins of the wedding it is free to get onto the property the gate just has to have their name (just since it is obvious they are only coming for the wedding, not to use the restaurants or pools). But if they come like 4 hours early, use some of the facilities etc. then it is the full fee.

Oh! I'll have to check into that! Thanks for the heads up!

I think that for those who choose to stay at a different resort (when they could stay at the one you told them to stay at) they should pay for their pass. For those who cannot stay at the resort you told them to because of children, I think you should pay for their pass.