"You finally got rid of your fiance?"

You're right; definately flippant and stupid. Some people are socially inept and don't know what is appropriate and what is not. No arguments there.


Again, some people are socially inept. I still think she may have been trying to get in your good graces. Some people just don't draw boundaries in the same way.

I agree. Protect yourself. Don't let other people's ignorance an ineptitude get to you. Sounds like you have amazing family support (including here on BDW and your new family in FH . Draw on that and you'll be fine.

thank you so so so much

its amazing how supportive people are on this site..i feel like i know everyone lol

Update...so this is getting even weirder and im pissed!!..my friend forever has basically stopped talking to me lol, and i have never mentioned anything to her..and the one that said that asked if i got rid?..well shes become my new bff i get new messages all the time now on fb..what the hell?

Geez, life has a funny way of turning upside down every once in awhile...oh well like previously mentioned don't let it get to you. Good riddance to bad rubbish is what I always say. You don't need fake people.

they are both fake i realize now..what angers me most though is my friend because when i told her it was finally going to happen my dream of having it away( basically before people were doing dw's ever since i was a kid all i dreamed was having a wedding on the beach with my fam, and the roadblock was my fmil is afraid of flying so when she gave the go i called my friend) and she said such nice things i teared up like she would do whatever it took even if it meant coming for a day just to share that day with me, im the sister she never had, well grow old together..like i was so touched my her words i called my mom and repeated everything and teared up like a jerk..then again i cry at commercials so it doesnt take much lol

and she was hating on the one that made the comment(they met once through me) so badly that i was even like calm down its not that serious..so now they are friends..the whole thing is bizarre and i know i shouldnt care but its pissing me off..not that they are friends i could care less about that but how its all happening it just disgusting me

and now im getting im's from the other one..i dont answer but still lol

whats wrong with people??

I've just been reading along with this and everyone has basically taken the words out of my mouth with, forget about the first girl everyone has that person who hears about your wedding especially a DW and starts hinting that they expect an invitation to try to guilt you into it. Funny how these are the people that would probably forget to invite you to anything of importance in their life because you just aren't that close.

I just wanted to say to not just start blaming yourself for being too sensitive so quickly. I am a lot like you in that I give and give of myself because I do everything with passion especially friendships and relationships. And for years I would tell myself that I was just taking it too personally when a friend that I was there for would not reciprocate or would make little biting remarks about things that they should be happy for me about. In the same way, while it is understandable that some of your friends may be friends with people that you dislike or are no longer friends with, there is a thin line between them talking about you and them not being a loyal friend. If this line gets crossed, sometimes you just have to give them the benefit of the doubt. But if it is also combined with a lack of enthusiasm for the joys in your life, or if they let you down as a friend in many other ways, then their friendship is more of a hindrance to you and your happiness.

At the same time, understand that your wedding is a lot more important to you and your FI (and all of us ladies here on BDW who love hearing all the juicy details) then most of your friends and even family and just because someone does something to offend you pertaining to your wedding because they're focusing on themselves, doesn't mean you should automatically revoke their invitation.

I may be completely off but for what they said to be that big of a deal, maybe you should be taking a good hard look at your friendship and really see if this is as big a deal as it seems or if their is other things going on with your friendship with this friend then just this.

Sorry for writing a book...I get on my soapbox sometimes when it comes to talking about friendships and people not being treated the way they should be.

What's wrong with them is that they are treating friendships like a popularity contest. Unfortunately some women don't get over that after high school and social networking sites make the problem ten times worse.

No i appreciate your thoughts..i love book's..i write them so i love to read them lol.

I dont even know how to explain how im feeling. its not the fact that they are friends, or the fact that there is lack of enthusiasm..i just think its the fakeness coupled with me being angry at myself for actually thinking she was a friend..i dont know the whole thing is just weird.

I dont intend on revoking the invite to my friend..or extending one to the other one..but the whole thing is just stupid, and i know it and it still bothers me.

I completely get that. I have had to stop being friends with people because they just caused way too much stress for me wondering if they were there for me or not and what they meant by things they said and all that.

 

But be encouraged by the fact that you aren't the only one that goes through this and know that they are only making themselves look bad and if they choose to not be there for you at your wedding, it is really their loss because it will be wonderful and you and your FI are going to be there with the people that care about you most.

you're right

thanks