Before or After???

We're doing it before we leave. Keeping it small and on the DL, but by no means a secret. If people ask, I'll tell them. It's too much hassle to do the real thing there!

I'm sure none of my guests would rather attend the city hall ceremony vs. the 'real' symbolic ceremony!

We are having our legal ceremony after we get back right before our reception (19 days after our DW). We were originally going to hold our legal ceremony before but then we thought of 2 things: 1. that was another party we have to plan, more money to spend and our family will have travel twice or even three times to see us. and 2. it will make our DW the first time we say our vows. It just makes it that much more special. Our DW date will be our anniversary date.

We did ours before and it was pretty informal and went by so fast. It was also at 10am and didnt feel at all like we were "married" Even though we ended up having our ceremony in Santa Barbara, CA (cancelled MX because of swine flu) the ceremony felt 100% real and to be honest it was only after saying our vows in front of our friends and family did i really feel married.

I personally think it would be weird for me to walk down the aisle and say vows at the DW and know that you arent quite married yet...KWIM?

I am getting married at Beaches Negril Jamaica in January 2010. I thought the legal aspect would also be a part of the whole thing so Im a little confused about people asking about legal ceremonies in the US. Am I missin something?

We also went ahead and did our legal ceremony back in January of 2009 and our wedding is December 2009, so it will be almost one year to the day since we had our first "legal" wedding. Nobody knows about us being married except for one of my bridesmaids (my best friend) and my FIs business partner. I had gotten laid off right about the time we got engaged and I really needed health insurance so we figured we would just get married in the courthouse sooner since we planned to do it before we left for Jamaica anyway. It did not feel like a real wedding at all and we do not consider ourselfs to have a had a wedding yet. The real wedding will be Dec 4, 2009!

I am soooo glad to have read this thread, it has put me at ease! I know it was done a year ago- but it helps me now! Thanks ladies!

I am having the same worries. We are getting legally married before we go as they require a marriage certificate to do the symbolic ceremony.  We have decided to have our BM and his wife to be our witness and we will only tell our parents when it is over with.  There were concerns of having our families there as if we only invite certain people others will then get hurt. Just doing it simple and plain and hopefully that will make our real day as real as possible.!

I would do it before you leave.