Before or After???

Hey ladies, so I need your opinions please!

We want to do the legal ceremony at home, but are keeping it on a hush hush. We don't want our guests feel ripped off that they're flying in to see us get married, and it's not even real. We will be counting the day of the Spiritual Ceremony as our anniversary date. So do we get married first legally and get it over with or do it when we come back?? I just want to make the walk down the isle to feel as real as possible.

Thanks

I am having the exact same feeling regarding this as well! Its such a tough thing, and I totally understand what you mean by wanting it to feel as real as your "real" wedding day would. I still have not decided, I do really want to avoid any hassle with paperwork etc. I'm not of much help..but am in the same boat.

We're doing the same thing. My fiance and I have decided to do the legal ceremony before we leave. The thought of coming back and having to do another ceremony just didn't sit well with us. After we come back from our trip, we want to be done with all the wedding planning and relax.

I voted for before. DH and I did our legal ceremony and we invited our parents to come. I am a crybaby...I cried during our legal ceremony and cried even more during our DW ceremony. In my opinion even though we got legally married before the DW, the DW ceremony was the one that meant more to us, therefore was the REAL wedding.

That's so funny, I guess we think alike, lol. I'm a horrible liar as well, actually considering not even have the parents be our witness, but get some people off the street (a bit crazy, I know). So your planning to do it before then?

As much as I want to be over and done with all the wedding plans afetr the DW, we are going to do it when we come home. The first time we saw our vows, I want it to be infront of all of our family and friends on the beach.

Sorry I forgot to quote, my last message was for J&M Wedding.

We are going to have to deal with this eventually. We are having our wedding ceremony in summer 2010 in the Caribbean. But, unbeknownst to our family, we have been married since October 2008! My only idea so far will be to say that the marriage requirements abroad are too stringent and that we decided to do a legal ceremony at city hall immediately before we left. I think those who ask will understand that sort of thing, a formality, cannot be anywhere near as meaningful to us as vows made before our family and friends, and therefore won't feel like they missed out on something good.

I am so glad that I am not the only one who was worried about this!

We are planning a Puerto Rico wedding for next June. In PR we can have legal ceremony but it might be stressful figure out all of the details and stuff from Michigan. Also, to get married in PR we would need to have a blood test within 10 days of the wedding. Since I’m a HUGE wimp about blood tests, we are considering a courthouse ceremony and just not telling anyone. But, I am also a loudmouth and I wouldn’t want people to feel tricked or think that they are flying down to PR for nothing. Maybe I'll just suck it up and do the real deal in PR.