Livid

To be honest, they have only been together for like 7 months. They jumped into their relationship way to fast to be honest. She made him break up with his fiance of 3 years to be with her while she was still with someone. I kept my mouth shut and let it go. The house thing is just an excuse. She said herself that she didn't want to buy a house or land or anything until she was completely done school which isn't for another six years. She can't even say that she sees herself with him in a year or so.

Everything I'm saying might seem out of place and if it does, I'm sorry but it's just frustrating and I'm tired of talking about it. So I say what's on my mind at the time and I feel like I jump from place to place when I'm talking.

So I just received a text message from her saying "u know we always talked about being in each others wedding but im not sure i want to go cuz its awkward and i want to go to the beach this summer and wont be able to do it if i use my money to go to jamaica" those words exactly WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

As much as we are all entitled to our own opinions, I find it interesting that you are so confident in your opinion that your friend is making a mistake with this guy when you are not the one in the relationship. I have oftentimes had opinions about friends who I thought were making a mistake with a certain boy/girfriend ... sometimes to find out my opinion was right, but also sometimes it was wrong.

I think you need to take a step back and realize it is not your place to jude someone elses relationships.

Obviously, your friend feels tension between the two of you and this is her way of backing out. I had tension w/ one of my BM's before the wedding and *wish* she had backed out or that I had the courage to ask her to no longer be involved. You don't need extra stress at your wedding and obviously this situation is causing intense stress so perhaps she is doing the right thing in the long run by stepping back.

My advice to you is: DO NOT FEED INTO HER NONSENSE!!! Right now all eyes are on you and your wedding and she is just looking for some stupid excuse to make your life miserable. I would actually encourage her to spend her time and $$ on the beach and that you really do not have time to entertain her bullsh*t! (for lack of a better(nicer) word!) You really do not need people like her in ur wedding. From what I am gathering she seems to be very manupulative so do not fall for her trap!

To be completely honest, she has done things like this to me before just happens that this time it is my WEDDING. She has always tried to one up me and made plans with me and backed out at the worst time and at the last minute. So I'm not surprised this is happening, but it's upsetting because I thought for once we might be on a good run with our friendship.

 

As to the relationship thing, I know her better than anyone just like she knows me better than anyone. I am confident in saying they are rushing into their relationship. But with the house thing, she has said herself not until she's done school.

 

Well it's not like I can find any truth out of this when she can't hold a conversation with me about any of this.

Can you please explain why she said it would be awkward for her to go to your wedding? That might help us to help you figure out why she is doing this. There is something more going on here. Also, I hate to break it to you but a BFF would not tell you she can't come to your wedding via text, that is not a BFF, that is a person who does not care much about you (unless of course you sent her a text first asking about coming to your wedding, then it makes sense but its still not right). Also, why is money an issue if you offered to pay for her to come Again, something else is going on here for sure.

I can't explain why she would think it is awkward. Maybe because she already said no so many times. Who knows. She won't talk about it. She won't answer my phone calls. She just sends me text messages like that is supposed to be alright and make things better. I haven't sent her any text messages. I've just been trying to call her. Anyway, I have to get the dresses tomorrow night or they get sent back and I lose my money. It's sad to say but I think my fiance found a replacement for his "best friend" and I might have found a replacement for her. Never thought anything would happen like this.

Amber- because you have been friends for so long, do you have a relationship with her family or mother that you could ask for advice? I hate to see you throw away 9 years and some people (myself included) tend to advoid situations that are hard to discuss and I agree that there is SOMETHING ELSE going on....but I think you already know that. I don't know what type of friendship you have or if it's worth it to you to maybe show up in person somewhere that you know she'll be and confront her (nicely) and just tell her how important it is that you talk about it, so that things with your friendship don't get MORE complicated? Sometimes you just have to stop asking people to talk, and confront them in person unexpected for them to explain.

 

best of luck to you, i want to know whats going on with her!

Amber, I think its pretty clear that she has some issue regarding your wedding and from this point on you should assume she won't be there and go on with your planning. I know its really hard to see a friendship dissolve like this but clearly there is something going on outside of the wedding otherwise she wouldn't be dancing around the issue.

You will have an amazing wedding (perhaps totally drama free with out her) and you should just focus on that.