AHR/Bon Voyage Ettiquette

Aaron and I are leaning towards having a Bon Voyage "reception". It'll be really low key, something like a BBQ in our backyard or something. I'm just confused about how to go about inviting people. Do we invite the people who will be attending the wedding? Obviously we'll invite the people that were invited to the Mexico Wedding that couldn't attend... but what about people that we didn't invite to the Mexico wedding at all?! Is it rude to invite people to just the BBQ Bon Voyage, but not to the actual wedding in Mexico? The only reason why I ask now (instead of a year from now!)is because it might affect who we invite to Mexico. There are a few people that we want to invite just because, but we don't really care if they show up or not. If they go, great! - if they don't, oh well! But if we can invite them only to the BBQ, but not to the Mexico wedding that'd probably be best... is that rude? lol, sorry for the long confusing explaination!

I am having a Bon Voyage (FI calls it the Adios) Party for about 100 people and only 20 are invited to Mexico. I really worried about the whole thing, but talked to my Dad and we decided that the people who are invited to the Bon Voyage have known me forever and love me and are excited, and that they know the reasoning behind all of it (mainly money) so they won't care. And people who do, that's their problem. We are going to sign the legal papers for our marriage at the Adios and having a Mexican theme - its a hard issue but ultimately the people who love you are gonna understand.

That's actually a pretty cool idea to have a 'bon voyage' party before you leave.

I know that as far as etiquette goes, your only supposed to invite people to the reception who have been invited to the wedding also--- but since this is before the wedding even occurs, I wouldn't think there would be a problem with inviting whomever you want. The only thing that would kind of make it one of those 'shade of gray subjects' is if people thought they needed to bring a gift to the BV party...

But, I'm probably not the greatest source for actual etiquette tho...

just explain in the invite or on your website that you have chosen to do a destination wedding to have a small intimate wedding with immediate friends and family only but that before you leave you would love to celebrate your nuptials with all your loved ones...but keep in mind that a lot of people would want to share your joy and so doing it after the wedding is smart because you can share your pics...but I love the idea of signing your marriage docs at the "adios" its a great way to get in the mode.

Toby did you order your dress?

today is our 2nd year living together anniversary and i ate a house...lol...no really, we went to a fabulous dinner of châteaubriand and I am huge...but i am going to bite the bullet and go to a seamstress tomorrow and insist that they measure me for free...lol..and then....da da dummmmm --- order the gown...i will post tomorrow and i totally expect oohs and ahhs and congratulations...lol...