Lying to me for 5 Months!!

So, I walk into my mom's house this Sunday to pick up my daughter and the first thing she says to me is, "why didn't you tell me about your dad?" I look at her very confused and said, "what are you talking about mom?" She was all like, "Oh, you didn't know!?!" So she proceeds to tell me that my step-mom (who has been a 2nd mom to me for 22 years) left my dad......BACK IN SEPTEMBER! So, very upset and honestly a little pissed....I called my sister and asked her if she knew....and she didn't. So we talked about what we're going to do. We chose to call our little sister first, who is only 16 and in the middle of all this. She is very adult about the whole situation and surprised that we even knew. I can understand why he didn't tell us....thought she was coming back.....but for 5 months he has not called/written. He didn't acknowledge my birthday, my son's 1st birthday, Christmas, or New Years. I understand he was hurting...but I would think hurting and turning away everybody that can help you get through it would make things harder. And not to mention LYING to your two daughters! I don't know....I was so mad at him for not sending a Christmas card...and now I'm mad at myself for feeling that way. But if I had known I would have totally understood!

 

WOW...I feel a little bit better.

I am very sorry to hear this. Im sure he had a reason in his mind why he didnt tell you but I understand bc I would want to know as well. All you can do now is help him thru the hard times.

It's really hard because he is in Missouri!

So have you talked to your dad about all this? Is it permanent? I'm glad your little sister is taking things well - 16 is a hard age to go through that - any age is I guess but at least she has you guys for support also.

We have talked to our dad about this....he is not taking this well at all. He wants to think she is coming back. In all honesty, I hope she comes back, but I don't think she is. We used to live in a small city, which is how I found out, everybody knows everybody's business up there. I am surprised I didn't hear sooner.

I am so sorry to hear that. My dad and stepmom were on the verge of divorce too and they have recently worked it out. All you can do is be there to support him.

I'm soo sorry this is going on.

And I'm sure your Dad just didn't want you (his daughters) to worry about him.

You know how parents can be!

 

Things will work out sweetie!

I agree.. I am sure that you Dad just didn't want you to worry or to see you upset by the whole thing; if he truly feels that she is coming back.

As far as the not-contacting you thing over the holidays, etc.. I am sure that he just isn't thinking straight right now.

I am honstly amazed that it was a secret for so long... In my family, noone can keep a secret!

Either way, just be there for your Dad and your sister.. Since he is far away, maybe send him cards, emails to make him laugh etc.

Family stuff like this is always tough.

wow i feel so bad...was this something that was in the making becasue they were having problems or was your dad totally blind-sided by it all (not that it makes it any less painful). So sorry this all is happening. I hope they can work it out--people if willing, do so all the time.

[It was very unexpected. She just woke up one morning walked into the kitchen and said she wasn't happy and was leaving.

 

And to make matters even worse. I get an email from my mom today saying the will be taking my grandmother off life support. So January hasn't been the best month for me! What a way to start 2009!/FONT]