I thought I'd be happier...

So, I got engaged in June and was immediately excited about the wedding and everything surrounding it. Unfortunately that excitement lasted about a week for various reasons, which are another story entirely. Anyway, I started looking at dresses online right away but, I had gained some weight due to stress and health issues and decided to try to lose it before trying anything on. Well, 4 months before my wedding, I haven't lost a thing and have no time left to waste. So, I made my appointment and went shopping and I hated the experience. Being a full figured woman, I hated that I had to squeeze into dresses that were too small and try to "imagine" how they would look in my size. One dress that was at the top of my wish list, I couldn't even get a sense because I was trying on a size that was so small. When they started quoting me dates for getting things and it was getting closer and closer to the wedding date, I felt the pressure of having to make a decision. So, after 18 dresses, crying twice and lots of frustration and kicking myself for waiting so long, I had it down to 2, neither of which I "LOVED". I picked one, had it written up, switched and then switched back, I am sure they couldn't wait to be rid of me. So, I am getting my dress, and its pretty, but I am not in love and I just thought I'd be happier. Anyone else have this type of experience? Did you grow to love your dress, cause that is what I am hoping for.

I did not do the "OMG it's the one" thing...I didn't cry...I even tried on more in different bridal shops after I tried it on. I just went for my final fitting on Friday & I still don't get that feeling. I love the dress...it's beautiful...but I don't get that giddy, butterflies feeling when I'm in it. I'm thinking (and other girls have said too) that the day of your wedding, with your hair & makeup done, your accessories on, & your bouquet in hand you will feel like a bride - you will feel like the most beautiful woman in the world!! Here is a thread on the same topic...http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t33446

 

Don't stress...you will be beautiful!!

I had sort of a similar experience. I hated all the dresses that I tried on until I found my dress. I mean I "liked" my dress when I first saw it but it wasn't exactly in my size either...so it was hard to imagine how it would feel when it was more fitted. When I went to view it after it came in, I thought I "hated" it....it was sooo big, especially on the top part. I wasn't really very excited to go back for my first fitting (which was on Sat). But once I went back, and they pinned it in the right places, and I had the veil on etc... I fell inlove!!

 

I think that the next time you go to see your dress (once it comes in), get your hair and makeup done! If you feel you look amazing, you will feel differently when you see the dress on you. Plus when something fits appropriately, it will automatically make you feel more comfortable! I think you'll love your dress in the end! not everyone is inlove with it right away. And I think its normal to maybe wish you'd kept looking or picked something else hope that helps

i ended up loving my dress after the final fitting when i got to take it home. before that i was back and forth, and i really hated it after i found out how much the bustle was going to cost on all my pickups. BUT once it was done, i couldnt try it on enough! AND i got to wear it 3 times, our huge wedding at home, our small wedding in cabo, and the TTD! i just couldnt get enough of it. and to start with, even tho i thought it was gorgeous i wasnt ever sure if it was the ONE until the wedding day when the hair and everything was all done up and put together. now i wish i could wear it again!

 

im sure once you get in the right size and try it on you will love it. and i agree with ana, get your hair and face made up the day you try it and see how nice it will all come together.

I have not found a dress i love either! I havetried on over 50 I'm sure. I don't know if I will fing "the perfect one". So many girls say they have that feeling...i'm not sure if I ever will!

Too much importance is on this dress...it is a important day and you want to feel beautiful, but it is just a dress. I'm sure the dress is beautiful and looks great on you!

The wedding day is about you and your FI. As long as you are both ther who cares about the dress?? When you look back and remember how you felt that day the dress will look beautiful to you!

I had a similar experience....I'm at the highest weight I've ever been...I actually weigh the same now as I did when I was about 5 months pregnant. I thought I'd lose some weight before the wedding, but it just hasn't happened. Dress shopping w/ my skinny-mini exercise-aholic mother wasn't the most fun...especially when she made a comment that a particular dress was for people that are more "firm."

 

I also had to find a dress in three months, so not every dress was an option for me to purchase. After purchasing the dress and before alterations, I thought so many times that I had made the wrong choice in dresses. However, after alterations and having the dress fit perfectly, I absolutely love it!

 

I'm sure you're dress will be beautiful on you, especially once it has had the proper alterations and tweaking to fit your body perfectly! I'm with BachataBride, try not to stress (although easier said than done!)

I completely agree with Amanda and feel the same. I searched for so long to get 'that feeling'.. the butterflies, tears etc and never had it. I like my dress; it's beautiful - but they didn't have it my size (it was too big, which is just as bad as too small bc they used binder clips to keep it on me!) so it is hard to visualize. I am waiting for it to come in so I can get fitted, but I am staying with the 'I like' feeling as it more than I felt for any other dress!!

So, hang in there - as others have said once the whole look is together I am sure that you will feel like a beautiful bride!!!

Why can't these bridal salons have pictures of different style dresses on different body types/sizes in an album so brides can get an idea of how a style might look? There's no way to imagine how a dress will look if you can't close up the back or fit your boobs in. It's especially difficult for full figured brides who can't have it pinched to fit to give an idea.

 

I mean, how many different styles are there altogether? The detailing doesn't matter. Surely enough larger sized brides have come through these salons who have bought gowns. I would really be impressed if a shop offered something like that.

 

I'm short and fat and I know there's probably nothing that would fit well enough to give me an idea of how I would look.

As everyone has mentioned... not everyone has the "OH MY GOSH I'M IN LOVE WITH THE DRESS" moment. What I try to remember is that a wedding is not about a dress. It's about you and your FI declaring your commitment to each other in front of loved ones. I try to tell myself that if everything else is in place emotionally- i will feel beaoutiful in my dress. Don't get me wrong cause I understand teh weight struggle- believe me- but I have been doing a number on my self and it's not worth sacrificing my happiness to look good for the dress. Focus on eating healthy and moving your body so that you feel good. It may make you feel differently.

Thank you ladies for all the great words of support and advice. I am trying not to stress the whole situation and resisting the urge to keep shopping, especially since I don't really have time anyway. I kept the picture of my dress on my screen at work yesterday and just stared at it and it is growing on me. I am sure that once I see it fit properly with the alertations that I want to make, my hair and makeup done, then I will love it, I am crossing my fingers. Thanks again!