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ErinB

By ErinB
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BachataBride

BachataBride

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I've had a really crappy holiday too. Christmas eve and Christmas night I just cried & cried. This is the first time I've had to spend Christmas away from my mom. Last year she came to visit for the holidays but this year with the wedding so close neither one of us couldn't afford to travel for Christmas. What made it even worse was that FI was working over the holidays too - days shift for xmas eve, xmas day & boxing day. Now he's working NYE until at least 11:30 tonight, but he will more than likely have to stay late (he's a police officer).

 

What makes it even worse is that we are fighting - HUGE fight last night. And with only 3 weeks until our wedding it makes me sick to my stomach. He's PO'd because I want everything & we only have so much $$ to go around (the difference is his priorities for the $$ are diff than mine - but bc you are the bread winner doesn't mean you get to make all the financial decisions). And I'm PO'd at him for not helping out around the house more, and taking more responsibility for the dog (walks, etc). We can't sit & talk about it because it just turns into a big blow up and he storms off - or I do. I also sometimes feel like he doesn't love me - I know he does, but I just wish he would tell me (or at least tell me first instead of him saying I love you too all the time). And when I try to cuddle he puts on a screwy face and says no get away - he's only joking, but seriously.....every time you have to do this??

 

I'm sure with me it's mostly just the stress of wedding planning and with him it's the new house & the move. But sometimes I feel like I'm just going to have a breakdown!!

 

My confession....

I wonder if this will stop or resolve itself?? I don't want to get married with all of this crap hanging over our heads....I guess we really need to sit down & hash this all out. Why does life have to be so compicated??

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plumsugar

plumsugar

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Jacqueline: This time last year I broke it off with my BFF - it was a very unhealthy relationship and I guess I never really had time to dwell on the situation because my wedding was only a few months away. So NYE this year rolls around and i'm starting to think about it ALOT. Not that I want to rekindle anything (NEVER LOL!!!), but you know...just sad it happened.

 

I think another reason is that I recently switched jobs (was at my last one 5 years) so im a little sad/scared about all the changes that lie ahead.

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Jacqueline

Jacqueline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BachataBride View Post
I've had a really crappy holiday too. Christmas eve and Christmas night I just cried & cried. This is the first time I've had to spend Christmas away from my mom. Last year she came to visit for the holidays but this year with the wedding so close neither one of us couldn't afford to travel for Christmas. What made it even worse was that FI was working over the holidays too - days shift for xmas eve, xmas day & boxing day. Now he's working NYE until at least 11:30 tonight, but he will more than likely have to stay late (he's a police officer).

What makes it even worse is that we are fighting - HUGE fight last night. And with only 3 weeks until our wedding it makes me sick to my stomach. He's PO'd because I want everything & we only have so much $$ to go around (the difference is his priorities for the $$ are diff than mine - but bc you are the bread winner doesn't mean you get to make all the financial decisions). And I'm PO'd at him for not helping out around the house more, and taking more responsibility for the dog (walks, etc). We can't sit & talk about it because it just turns into a big blow up and he storms off - or I do. I also sometimes feel like he doesn't love me - I know he does, but I just wish he would tell me (or at least tell me first instead of him saying I love you too all the time). And when I try to cuddle he puts on a screwy face and says no get away - he's only joking, but seriously.....every time you have to do this??

I'm sure with me it's mostly just the stress of wedding planning and with him it's the new house & the move. But sometimes I feel like I'm just going to have a breakdown!!

My confession....
I wonder if this will stop or resolve itself?? I don't want to get married with all of this crap hanging over our heads....I guess we really need to sit down & hash this all out. Why does life have to be so compicated??

sorry this is happening. but first let me say that yes it will def work itself out. love conquers all! ;o) a lot of times wedding planning brings on stress and boys (not all but most imo) sometimes just dont get all the stuff involved with a wedding, so it is normal to fight around this time. but don't go into this with doubts, ya know? do you think he can sit and have an adult convo without turning it into a screaming match? i really hope things work out for you guys, i think it will.


Quote:
Originally Posted by plumsugar View Post
Jacqueline: This time last year I broke it off with my BFF - it was a very unhealthy relationship and I guess I never really had time to dwell on the situation because my wedding was only a few months away. So NYE this year rolls around and i'm starting to think about it ALOT. Not that I want to rekindle anything (NEVER LOL!!!), but you know...just sad it happened.

I think another reason is that I recently switched jobs (was at my last one 5 years) so im a little sad/scared about all the changes that lie ahead.
yes change def brings on those types of feelings. well start the new year as a new beginning, take this job on full force, and you will do great.
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Jacqueline

Jacqueline

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Originally Posted by BajaBride2010 View Post
I have crashed and burned...It pains me to say this but I think the wedding is close to being called off...I'm glad I got it off my chest, but I still feel like crap :-(
it is something you two can work through? im so sorry!!! did i miss a previous thread? feel like ive been mia.
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BachataBride

BachataBride

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Originally Posted by Jacqueline View Post
sorry this is happening. but first let me say that yes it will def work itself out. love conquers all! ;o) a lot of times wedding planning brings on stress and boys (not all but most imo) sometimes just dont get all the stuff involved with a wedding, so it is normal to fight around this time. but don't go into this with doubts, ya know? do you think he can sit and have an adult convo without turning it into a screaming match? i really hope things work out for you guys, i think it will.
Yes. I know it will all work out. I actually just got home from work and he was on his way out to go to his work. We both acted like nothing happened at 3 this morning! wtf.gif
I didn't want to bring it up though, because I didn't want him being pissed or thinking about this at work. His job requires his full attention & I don't want to be focused on other things. We will definitely be discussing this further though...and I think we can sit down like adults without rant.gif
On a good note, I did come home to a clean floor and the dishes actually in water in the sink (they didn't get completely done, but I think it shows an effort!)
And no...there are no doubts going into this - that was just my little rant for this morning!! LOL It felt good to share though! Thanks again...as always!! :)
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BC Bride2be

BC Bride2be

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Originally Posted by BachataBride View Post
Yes. I know it will all work out. I actually just got home from work and he was on his way out to go to his work. We both acted like nothing happened at 3 this morning! wtf.gif
I didn't want to bring it up though, because I didn't want him being pissed or thinking about this at work. His job requires his full attention & I don't want to be focused on other things. We will definitely be discussing this further though...and I think we can sit down like adults without rant.gif
On a good note, I did come home to a clean floor and the dishes actually in water in the sink (they didn't get completely done, but I think it shows an effort!)
And no...there are no doubts going into this - that was just my little rant for this morning!! LOL It felt good to share though! Thanks again...as always!! :)

Sometimes it feels good to just get it out and once you do it if feels a little less stressful AND you feel like you can actually talk about it calmly! That’s what so good about the forum, you get to let your steam off, collect your thoughts and move forward.
He must have taken something you said to heart cause like you said, the dishes were almost done and the floor cleaned!! I am sure it’s just the stress of money for him and once you guys sit down and talk about the priorities all will be better. Keep your chin up and remember he does love – huge!!
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