Your Fiance....

Okay, well here are my thoughts.... We decided we are getting married in June and that is basically all he has said about it... I know events are not his thing... thats okay! I just am kinda feeling that he doesnt care about this wedding as much as I do... I talk to him about it and hes just says " this is your wedding.... its not my thing.... i dont have expectations" but reallllllyyyy its OUR wedding and it would be nice is if he was a little more enthusiastic about it.... I dont know........ He is all unsure about the TTD so I am not sure if we are doing it.... he basically just want to show up that day and not be botherd about any details..........

Anyone else have a VERY uninvolved man? Should I be worried??

I will make you feel better! My FI didn't even know where we were going. It got to the point where I finally told him he had 10 minutes to find the answer to my questions about our wedding or we weren't going. He took me seriously and got the info. Since then, I quiz him regularly to make sure he remembers.

He definitely isn't a details guy. Sometimes I think that guys assume that all girls have this vision of their weddings and want everything their way. I needed to stress to FI that I am not that girl and I really do want his input. So, you are not alone. Have you sat him down and explained that you want him to be involved? Or maybe you can give him one or two things that he is in charge of to get him involved.

Oh, and if you want a TTD just tell him you have a 2nd shoot with the photog and surprise him when you shove him in the water! My FI knows we are doing a TTD, but I'm pretty sure he has no idea what that actually is.

I'm totally with you...my FI is completely uninvolved...every time I try to talk about it he would change the subject or say he was tired and needed to go to bed! It was sooo frustrating! I finally talked to him about and told him he was making me feel like he didn't care. He is making more of an effort now, but he even said it's not his thing. He has have some input in the important parts like the date and resort, but other than that he leaves it up to me....

I say you should definitely talk to him about how you're feeling. Men seem to generally not be very involved in the wedding planning process, and basically it's a "give me the date, time and location, and I'll be there" type thing, lol.

Honestly, I thought that's how FI was going to be, but then he flipped a switch and started getting too damn involved, being picky about our colors, the BMs dresses, the STDs, the menu, our venue, music, decor, etc. Trust me, sometimes it's better when they don't give a rat's ass. hehehe

But truly, I think you should communicate your concerns to him. And tell him although it's "not his thing" that you want this to be a celebration that is something you both envision and will enjoy. It should be a day dedicated to "us". I don't know if you watched the SITC movie ~ but if you did, then you'll recall how important it is to make sure you both are on the same page with the major aspects (size of wedding, who's invited, what's important, etc.)

And girl, if you're still not getting enuff excitement from FI, you know you can always count on your BDW friends ~ guaranteed to squeal, ooooh and ahhh with excitement every step of the way, lol

Keep us posted!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLC77 Oh, and if you want a TTD just tell him you have a 2nd shoot with the photog and surprise him when you shove him in the water!

Thanks ladies... you are so helpful! I am glad I am not the only on with a uninvolved FI... I will take the TTD advice to.......I will just push him right in the water........Ill keep u posted!

LOL not that it is funny but my FI and I picked our resort and we talked about all the various options and then about a month ago he said no that is not what I want I'm thinking ummm you were in on this discussion. No he is VERY vocal about what he wants bc it turns out he is picker then I am, we gotta love them.

I didnt have that problem there were times when dh was a total groomzilla. I think i would of liked it if he let me make all the decisions. He drove me nuts

I never really know what to expect from FI- we were actually planning a wedding here in NY and he said to me "You know it's always been my dream to get married on a beach" and I was totally lost! Why didn't you think to say this when we were talking about where to have the wedding?? Since then he'll either change the subject when I bring it up or he'll come out of nowhere and change floral arrangements or the design for our monogram. I just think they're weird, but they try- so definitely talk to him about how you feel.

My FI is also very uninvolved, but it doesn't bother me one bit. He just said that he wants me to have my perfect day. He's just a totally laid back guy, and I don't think he's uninvolved because he isn't excited about the wedding, but just because he doesn't really care about what the invitations or cake look like, what flowers we use etc. Since I know he doesn't really care one way or another about all the details, I've found it best just to not involve him in those decisions. I'll come home and say, "I picked out out invitations today." And he'll say, "Great! What do they look like?" I'll show him a pic he'll comment and we just go about our night as usual. I wouldn't be worried at all about you man. He's still just a guy and most guys, in my opinion, are just not detail oriented. So try not to stress. Everything will work out just great!

I think if you have a frank chat with your FI--he will let you know if he is just the uninvolved type or as someone else suggested wants tp be a part of the little things that don't require much thought (lol).

I wish you well and don't stress too much.