I think we are calling off the wedding! :(

You two have definitely been a lot! I think what you need to do first is take care of yourself and your FI. You should not be recovering and not emailing people to make their deposits! Second, is there any way to pick a different wedding package so you are not stuck with $10K if you don't have the amount of people to warrant that amount?

Take a deep breath, clear your mind (if possible) and think about the reason you wanted to get married in the first place and it'll all spring into place.

 

How about seeing if you can swap hotels to save you the $10,000 charge, like everyone said - it will cut the cost and you will still have loads of fun x

DITTO!!!

Wipe the slate clean. Change your wedding and make it for those who are committed to coming. Screw everyone else.
Stop helping eveyrone with their plans.
If they aren't adult enough to book their own damn tickets, they won't come and tough on them!

It'll be beautiful and you will have a wonderful time together. Take verone else out of the equation and make yourselves happy first and foremost.
If you want to please others, do it with an AHR.

i'm sorry to hear about your troubles. maybe you and dh should make a list of the pros and cons. determine the weight of each item you put on it (not having family there may count as more than 1). see what makes sense for the two of you. and vent here. that's why we're here!

I am so sorry you are going through all of this crap right now.

 

I agree with the majority in seeing if you can start over and not do the $10K min.

wow, what a year. i think it says a lot about you and your FI that you've gotten through it all together! and i agree with the rest of the ladies - don't jump the gun and cancel all together, first see if you can get out of the $10K consumption contract and then plan something better suited for just the 15-20 family members that you know will be joining you. canceling your wedding would just be another blow in an already bad year...so move forward with your wedding and make it the turning point! you deserve some happiness!!!

 

good luck sweetie!

Hey Sam,

 

I am so sorry that you are going through this! Believe me i feel your pain! I really believe that if you don't go through things like this then it was not meant! Just like you I have been struggling and questioning if all that we are going through is worth it but at the end of each day, I know that it is. I know that you feel the same way. Try not to get too stressed out and just know that just like the other bumps in the road, you will make it over this one too.

Wow, this sounds like a repeat of what we went through... I am VERY serious about that. I'm sorry to hear that you are having these troubles.

 

From personal experience I can say that starting fresh is probably your best option. We really scaled back with what we were planning. We lost 80% of our income this year... so it's been really hard. For us the first thing to go was all of the huge plans for the AHR. You may want to think about booking some of your vendors separate from your coordinator - and talk to the vendors about your budget. Many of them can really work with you more than you might have expected. If you have questions or just need someone to talk to about this, send me a message. Don't worry yourself too much, things will fall into place - they always do.

Thanks girls for your support!

 

This past week has been horrible. FI and I have argued every single day! It's really getting the best of us. I still have not made the phone calls to everyone. I think I've shed all of my tears and hopefully this afternoon I'll start getting things done.

I just feel like FI & I have been through so much. The wedding was the one celebration we were looking forward to. Now that we are postponing I can't begin to re-plan everything and that is why FI is upset. The ending of this wedding I was planning is like a death in itself. Does that make sense?

The last thing I want to do is start another planning process. I feel like I just want to breath a little.

I have my dad/stepmom & his mom already calling about rescheduling the wedding for October 2009 here in San Antonio?

It's like they have everything figured out already!!! Ideas for the venue,the church,etc.. IF I wanted a wedding in San Antonio then I would have planned a wedding in frickin San Antonio!!!!!!!!!!!

I desperately need a break. I need to go back to work. I need to visit my bf in Chicago. (I'm going to the Oprah show with my best friend on the 12th)

I just need space. -Of course when I tell my fiance this he thinks it's because of him. I know it's not. We had no problems before any of this. We get along great & he's really my best friend! I know this. I just think that what we have been through this year is LIFE. We just happen to be going through all of this stuff together before the wedding.

Thanks for listening to me! I'll keep you posted on what we decide.

I always said that we would elope but when our families heard about this they were totally against it. They wanted to be present. Ironically "they" are one of the reasons we are postponing this thing all together!

I'm just confused. I'm sad.

I know everything happens for a reason, I'm just waiting to understand what this one is.

Sam, I really think you are right on one thing... take a break, go to see your BFF and go to the Oprah show, afterwards have some quality girl time.

 

I really think that eloping could be the best idea that anyone has suggested.

 

If this man is the love of your life, and if you are sure that you want to be with him forever, it is between you and him. Not your families.

 

Let them throw you a reception afterwards, at their expense and trouble.

 

Have your DW. Even if it is just the two of you.