My Ex Is A Freak!!!

Thanks everyone! I've calmed down somewhat but now have some paperwork to do!

 

luv - I don't know what the "rules" are here..but I know there are some that have had difficult times getting a restraining order put on their husbands/ex's due to violence so I find it hard to believe that he will get what he wants.

 

I know that I am not a danger or threat to him..he's just being a dork! I often wonder if perhaps he just wants to be controlling..who knows..he's just being a dink!

 

He's costing me money by having to take time off work to file the papers and go to court..perhaps I should mention that in my affidavit!

I am not a lawyer or anything, but I do think it will be in your best interest to vent on here... and keep calm and collected on the surface. Make sure you think before you speak and don't let emotions come out. Write down your key points, etc.

I think it will help your case that he is out of line and that you don't care what he does, you just want what is best for your kids.

Kind of sounds like when you called him he freaked at the thought of you being near the wedding... whether that be his fear or a weirdo fiancee. So let someone else pick up the kids, and then you can meet them down the block or whatever.

I hate some ex's. It's hard to get a restraining order her in the UK 2 and he'd get his backside proper slapped for making an application for that reason.

Stick the fact about extra costs in your affidavit and ask for them as his application is an abuse of the court process (that works in the UK) its worth a shot and you have nothing to lose. Keep really calm and if you can wind him up so he blows when he gets in court lmao

I think since you have to get a lawyer anyway, why not hit him up for more child support while you are at it?!

rock on, kat! that's *exactly* what i was thinking!

seriously, i understand him maybe not wanting you to show up at the wedding to pick your kids up (it would probably be awkward at best), but why couldn't your dad or someone else pick them up and bring them to YOU for the weekend? you're their MOTHER!

Wow. That's some craziness. He needs to chill out and not flatter himself into thinking you are going to make an ass of yourself to crash his wedding.

 

And serious bummer about the attempted restraining order. I just dealt with a bogus R.O. myself - sent a chick a somewhat bitchy email and she had the papers served at work! Thankfully, the judge saw right through it and even recommended that she stick around to hear some real threats, but I was still out the laywer retaining fee and time off work. I wish there was a way we could get them to pay - I think Kat has the right idea with the child support!

What an annoying pain in the butt this all is, and it's totally unnecessary. I'm sorry for you, the kids and your dad.

 

If your ex has visitation and can not see the kids during that time, is unavailable, then the kids stay with you, right? Well, isn't this just another case of his unavailability?

 

I'm not sure I would consider at this time bringing up the fact that he doesn't see the kids enough or contribute enough to their support. That should be another argument (and inconvenient for HIM I might add.) If it appears that you have issues and are angry with him then sympathies might lie with your ex that you are angry and therefore might pose a threat. Just state that if he is unavailable to spend his visitation time with the kids, then you will gladly keep them. Let it known that you understand how important a wedding day is and will do whatever you can to help him have a wonderful wedding. (BARF!!!) Smile sweetly.

Based on what appears on this site, I doubt his accusations could ever rise to this level for him to get an order against you.

Peace Bonds & Restraining Orders

It doesn't even appear that violations of such orders are even enforced unless there is some threat of physical harm against the person who filed for the order.

In PA, people use them all the time to get some advantage in divorce and custody actions (I practiced family law for 6 years before transitioning to teaching). It is shameful how people use this process for their own selfish interests that have nothing to do with serious threats of harm. On the other hand, a co-worker of mine watched her daughter get murdered by the daughter's soon to be ex. She had a restraining order against him and he was still able to get a firearm and kill her at a custody exchange.

Luv - WOW that is crazy & absurd!

 

The beef about him not being around...well there is nothing I can do about that and I had come to realize a long time ago that I can't force him to be a dad and be in his children's lives.

 

I think some of this stems from the fact that I am also taking him back to court for financials. He pay next to nothing for child support and refuses to pay (even at proproriate to income) for any extras - i.e. medical, dental, child care & extra cirriculars as well as post secondary education - so that being said I think he's just pissed!

 

I have completed my affidavit and have only added the particulars...nothing extra. I will wait to seek Duty Counsel (no way I can afford a lawyer especially on such sort notice) to discuss loss time wages for this crazy request.

 

I will be sure to update after I go to court on Friday! Thank you so much ladies for your support & advice.

Hope everything goes well for you on Friday thinking of you xx