little by little, no one is coming ... i give up!

you hit the nail on the head, they'd just come up with more excuses. just an example: my fiance's own MOTHER, when we were trying to get the 28th or 29th, said, "can you just make it the 28th, because i promised my Godson i'd go to his wedding on the 30th in texas." now, if you knew your first-born SON was getting married in may of next year but didn't yet know the date, would you go making promises to anyone else? let alone your Godson who you see maybe once every 10 years or so? she is literally leaving the day after our wedding and flying to texas for another wedding!

besides, it was ridiculous just trying to get a date (ANY DATE) that wasn't in hurricane season! then there's the 4-day requirement for a legal marriage, so it becomes narrowed to either a thursday or friday.

but the biggest limitation is that my fiance is in a school that is an 18 month program (not normal college semesters) starting in january and can only miss so many hours of any given module before they'd drop him. since the school refuses to put out an academic calendar for their program, we have no idea when his breaks are. he had to take a week in which he'd miss the least amount of class time. they are definitely off fridays, and are definitely off memorial day, so he'd only miss 3 days. that week was really our only option.

obviously, my fiance is THE most important person to be there (besides the lovely bride LMAO)!

how many were you originally counting on, and how many did you end up with? if you don't mind my asking ...

i think i'm mostly flipping out because these are the people we went most out of our way to accommodate. and they are practically our whole bridal party at this point (which was almost entirely family, not just a bunch of friends). i *really* didn't expect them to bail ... anyone but them, ya know?

We had 40 people tell us they were coming no matter what!! Guess how many we are having.... 21. We also picked Dreams because of the kid rule. Guess how many kids we have coming... None lol. Just count your blessings that anyone is coming. I am actually glad to have a smaller crowd!
1. it's cheaper for us
2. I hate attention
HA HA purely selfish reasons.

I have a larger family on my mom's side (65 people). We assumed that most of my aunts would make the wedding but maybe one because we are all close. I also figured that my closest cousins would probably make the trip so we figured maybe 25 family members on my side. We ended up with 9- which included my immediate family of mom, dad and sister. One aunt came, 2 cousins and grandparents.

 

My DH's family- brother, wife, grandparents, aunts & uncles, and cousins did not come. He only had his parents come and they booked EXTREMELY late. We thought they weren't coming.

 

We ended up having 18 people (not counting us) come to the wedding. Most that came were my parents' friends whom I have known for forever too. Poor DH didn't really know any of them prior to the wedding.

 

We only had two of our friends make it too! All claimed to be too poor or were not able to save the money up in the end.

 

Soo to sum it up, we invited around 120 people and had 18 come. We were so disappointed in the beginning and felt completely unloved. In the end, we decided to forget about all the negativity. I cried too much and DH felt shitty since he only had his parents and one friend "representing" his side. I won't lie- our feelings were really hurt.

 

However, we didn't plan crap around anyone. Well except my own parents and sister. We chose spring break so they could easily come- my sister is in college and my parents are in the eduaction field. Had we planned specific resorts and times around people and then have them bail, I'm sure I would be furious too.

 

BUT at some point you just have to stop being mad and focus on the good. Otherwise you will be soo miserable until May. I'm not saying you have to stop being mad right now- hell no. Vent, cry, get it all out. Then decided if DW is still in your heart and commit to focusing on you and FI- no one else! Keep positive and let your wedding be a pleasant, wonderful experience!

I read your post and thought boy doesn't this sound familiar. My heart goes out to you. Remember it's yours and your FH's day. And those that truly want to be there will do their best to do so.

Very sorry to hear of your news. Keep your chin up. This is truly a time for you and your FI so live it up! Do what makes the both of you happy! People are going to complain regardless...it's what they do. Best wishes.

 

Geeze...that's rough, I'm sorry. That is honestly one of my biggest fears regarding this whole wedding planning deal. I know the day is for ourselves, but we do want people there to celebrate with us and have fun. I think the worst is having them tell you their needs, catering to it only to have them renedge.

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Hopefull they'll start confirming and no one else will drop out.

I am sorry to hear that, it's such a bummer...especially with how much you tried to accomodate everyone when really the only people you should be accomodating for are you and your man! I am sure everything will work, just keep your chin up!

Sister we are right here with ya. Same story different characters. FI parents complained and said they weren't coming and his only sister and family still aren't. One of my BM's backed out. We went from a ton to none and now at 26ppl. I had the same melt down. FI said screw them we will just go. Made me feel much better. Plan YOUR day for you two and the rest will fall into place.

Hang in there!

My advice is along Rachel's: the only way that you'll be ok with things in the end is if you remove everyone else from the equation.
And I think you should do that right now
1) Where do YOU TWO want your wedding to be?
If a different hotel, then change venues!
If in town, stay at home for th ewedding.

It isn't too late to change your plans (I assume).

We have gone through the same thing (and are still). I frequently get very depressed about the factthat we may only have 8-12 people at our wedding. I was hoping for closer to 20. FI's grandmother just backed out and his brother, SIL and their kid are on the fence and making every excuse in the book (which is really hurting my FI).

We went through the whole issue of changing dates to suit others and places. But at that point we took a step bck (well, FI did and asked me clearly: do you want to be married on abeach?) I was too far gone to even care. I'd started completely re-working the wedding in my mind to accomodate others.

First things first: Make yourselves happy.
Others will follow. If they don't, you'll still get what you want. If they don't follow AND you don't get what you want, you'll be pissed!

Good luck it really hurts having people bail. We all know how it feels.