Bridal Shower Etiquette

I know that my bridal party is throwing me a shower and I have indicated to them that only people invited to the wedding are invited to the shower - it seems like a gift grab IMO...

 

However, my office always has showers for babies and weddings and only a handful of coworkers are invited to the wedding, thus I think that is a different scenario.

 

But, as for a shower hosted by a close family member or by the bridal party (remember your mom cannot host this party either) IMO only those invited to the wedding should be included.

 

That is the gist of most of the ettiquette I have read.

I went to Bayshore High School my freshman and senior year and Manatee my junior year. Junior year I was in Clearwater. I graduated in 1999? What about you?

Thats why you look so familiar! I too went to BHS. You and my brother were friends, if I remember correctly.

I'm having trouble with this issue too. We are having our DW in April 2009, but the groom's brother is getting married this December. His aunts are throwing a huge shower for both couples, and I don't even know half of the people on the guest list, let alone inviting them to my wedding. We are definitely having an AHR, but I still feel like we're doing a gift grab. It all makes me very uncomfortable.

I am getting married Dec 4 2008, and in the summer of 2009 we are planning an at home reception. my FI sister's and my MOH insisted on a bridal shower, so they are making sure they put on the shower invites there will be an AHR, so they know they are invited to the reception here as well...

It's an awkward situation... my friend who just had a DW out in Halifax - well, I hosted her shower with a friend at her mom's house, which was weird. Also, most of the people who came were not at the wedding...

BUT both her wedding and mine are small small small, so most of the people going to it aren't living near me...

I think that I definitely wouldn't want a shower thrown, but if someone decides to do it for me, it's not like you can refuse.

I think that the best solution is like the last poster said: have an AHR and include that invitation in with the shower invitation or at least mention it in the shower invitation. Now my issue is that FI and I aren't 100% sure that will happen (an AHR) and we certainly don't have a date for one.

Boo! This is difficult

I agree that this can be such an akward situation! My mom is throwing my shower because all of my bridemaids are in different states from my family. Currently we are tryiing to figure out wording for invitations because I am having an AHR but there are more people invited to the AHR than are invited to travel to the wedding. How do you handle this situation? I don't want guests to be confused because some will be invited to travel and some are only invited to the AHR

 

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!! How is anyone else eliminating the confusion for guests?

you can always have them write something like "Come for the fun and games, you presence is your gift" or something like that if you are worried about the shower looking like a gift grab (I know that kinda defeats the point of a shower, but to me a shower would be tons of fun even without a gift, and I really don't see why people should have to give gifts for a shower and a wedding, seems like a bit much. Then again I didn't have a shower and becuase I live away from my extended family and only have a few close friends here I've somehow managed to avoid going to them!)

I have seen people send out announcements after the destination wedding with an invitation to the AHR to celebrate. Maybe you could do something like that or just send out a separate invite for the AHR.

I'm reading through all these posts and I'm starting to worry about my bridal SHOWERS!!!!!

Totally not my idea!!! SO here's the drama:

My FMIL wants to throw me a shower with the women from her work. Okay I don't know ANY of these people but she insists that because they can't attend (afford)the wedding in Puerto Rico they want to do something for me here.

My stepmother has announced that she wants to throw a bridal shower with "her side" of family/friends!

Now my mother (maybe she feels she needs to keep up) wants to throw a bridal shower with "her side" of family/friends!!

This does not even include MY BF throwing a bridal shower with OUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!!

Good Lord I don't even think I want one!