Off Your Chest

Dear Gabriel,

I do not want to go to the pool. I am so happy you decided to take a nap instead. I needed some BDW time in PEACE! You are going to daycare tomorrow even if you cry. I need a me day.

Love,

Your tired, stressed out mother

Dear Client & his "Secretary",

I am getting embarrassed for you. You are so selfish and act like royalty. We are doing so much for you. Please stop saying you can't take taxi's only towncars. It's chicago for crissake. Please stop bringing your husband on business trips because you know we pay for everything. Please stop implying that we should pay for your expenses while here. You are a profitable company and have an expense account. Please stop expecting us to drop everything on the busiest weekend of the summer to take you to NASCAR (OMG I am not even kidding) where you bitch about the $400 seats I got on stub hub. And stop coming here for a boondoggle that you won't even let me make into a reasonably productive visit. You bite.

Dear Account Manager getting this account from me, I am sorry this is your problem now. It was too much for me to handle, but your a great guy. I am sure it will be fine.

Dear Mom's work,

Not letting a mother take two unpaid days of vacation time so she can go to her daughter's wedding is f'd up. And your lottery system for vacation days is bs. instead of someone taking their vacation days for a good reason like my mom, some idiot is taking the days off my mom requested and using them to sit on their ass in front of their tv.

You suck You suck You suck

U,

Danielle

the really pissed off BTB

Thanks Maureen. If she calls out sick they will fire her. Her work is so ridiculous. Her job is so political.

OMG I love this thread! It keeps making me giggle (epecially about the coughing guy at work)

Dear self: It's great that you are coming along so well with your planning BUT, you really need to USE that gym membership you pay for every month. Get a schedule and stick to it! Say goodbye to that 20 lbs YUCK!!!!!!!! hehe

Dear D:

Please try to take DH’s wild ideas with a grain of salt. Yes, you love to back him up on anything he dreams up just as a good wife should do. But on top of the career change you are currently perusing, his wishy-washiness of first buying a house then staying in the apartment for another year or getting a new similar apartment next month or staying in the apartment for another three months or getting a new bigger apartment in six months or moving in with his dad to save money EVERY OTHER DAY is really stressing you out!!!

Also, I understand it was really annoying that certain motivated individuals in his family egged him on when he first thought of buying a house and that started this whole moving into a new apartment (or not) fiasco. Just try to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and don’t get swept up in their wild ideas. Unless you want that new change to be exotic dancing. Sweet.

With love,

D’s Conscious <3

Dear self:

THROW A KICK ASS BACHELORETTE PARTY FOR YOUR FUTURE SISTER IN LAW!! Even if she wasn't so nice when you lived together... PAST IS PAST!

dear dh,

this week has been fantastic. i'm glad you stopped being a whiny bitch. i'm still upset that when you started your new job, you didn't tell them about the days you couldn't be there, and now i'm stuck going to 1 1/2 weddings alone, and may end up on vacation alone!!! they can't say no when you're first hired, but now it's too late!!! and thank you for picking up your stuff this morning, but somehow our house is still a disaster, and i have an hour to get it clean, shower, get ready, get some snacks, get a wedding card and get to a wedding. your help is always appreciated, especially when i don't have to tell you that the toilet is gross in order to get you to clean it.

love,

your dw

dear self,

get your ass in the shower. you stink like chlorine and sweat.

from,

self