Destination wedding etiquette

when having a destination wedding is it proper to pay for your guests travel expenses or are they expected to pay? My FI and I have been arguing because his family is from Maryland and since we are getting married in Cabo this is going to be about 1000 or so for them to travel to see us get married. He feels that since we are saving some money having the DW that my family, who are gracious enough to pay for the whole thing, should maybe offer to help out his guests from Maryland. Is it totally off base that I feel like since we are giving them a year notice that they would have plenty of time to save up and make a vacation out of it? It also doesn't help that all my family and friends are from California ,a much cheaper airline bill obivously, so I think he might feel like his family and friends are getting the short end of the stick.

i'm not paying for anybody to go to my wedding. I am paying for bm dresses, gm attire, and getting them all gifts because i know the expense is high for them to have to travel. But they are getting a vacay out of it. is your fi expecting you guys to pay for all of his family?

No WAY!! the reason for a DW is to save money. Also if you are paying for his lot its only fair to pay for yours!!

 

Stick to your guns I wouldn't pay for their travel expenses they either want to come or they dont lol

I think he was under the impression we would maybe help them out a bit or something like that. Once we get there we are getting everyone gift baskets, paying for a nice rehearsal dinner, reception dinner and probably a brunch.

Exactly! I told him that if we help one out we have to help them all. I see the background behind the thought because I would be really bummed if my friends didnt want to come because of the money they would spend. In reality my FI has lived out in California for 6 years and even though he goes back to Maryland 3 times a year nobody has come out here to visit him once. So I feel like if he can make a effort to get out there to see them They can make an effort to come see him get married.

I agree with Hartyt509 - NO WAY should you have to pay for their travel expenses. I also let people know that I would be having a DW over a year in advance and that is more than enough time for them to save up for their own travel expenses.

I don't know if this is helpful at all, but out of the 100+ weddings we've had here I've only seen 2 people pay for their guests travel expenses and those 2 people were celebrities.

 

So, my answer would be, no, you are not expected to cover your guests' traveling expenses - I do not think that's the norm at all.

It is not your responsibility to pay for your guests that is why it is cheaper to have a destination wedding. A couple of questions, is he willing to help your family out as well? Is he helping everyone or only his immediate family (i.e. mom, dad, sisters)? Also, if you were to marry in California, would you be expected to pay for his family to travel out there then? Sorry about all the questions, but I know your frustration. Ugh! Men!

Thanks for all the feed back everyone, helps a lot to hear other opinions!

We had the same problem. We are having a DW because we can't afford one in the UK. If they want to come then they can pay for themselves. Maybe offer discount for people in the wedding party e.g. bridemaids etc