My Sister

Well thankfully you do have some time, are you wanting to figure this out now or give it some time to see how things play out?

Then I'd definately say wait before you ask her! You do have some time before your wedding, so it's not like they have to go order dresses right now.

 

Just keep it in the back of your mind, but be cautious. If things go great, awesome, ask her...but if you only see each other when you HAVE to, I'd say if you can live without her being in it, then don't ask her..it might cause more stress than it's worth

I say ask her. It can't hurt and it will probably bring you guys closer together. I think it would be strange to have her there and not standing with you. I think if you ask her it will mean a lot to her too. If she hasn't said anything, she is probably thinking about it...

I didn't ask my sister to be in my bridal party either. We aren't that close and I was only having my 2 best friends stand up for me. My sister was a bit upset but we finally talked about it and she's okay now..

I didn't ask my sister either. We are not overly close and I do know just coming to the wedding will strain her finances. I made it quite clear from the beginning to everyone that I was only having my MOH because I didn't want to put anyone out with extra costs. My MOH (my best girlfriend) and I agreed along time ago that I would stand for her and she for me.

 

I think it all depends on whether your sister would be offended if you didn't ask her.

i originally had my sister as my MOH but only because i felt that i had to. we arent close at all, in fact the only time she calls me is when she wants to "borrow" money or wants me to write her a cover letter or resume. my sister ended up backing out and is not even coming to my wedding and boy am i glad. my bridal party has been smooth sailing ever since she backed out.

interesting thread... my sister and I feel no obligation to have eachother in our bridal parties. And we're close and have a great relationship... it just didn't seem like a natural choice because we both have friends for whom the job would be much more important and special (and I've decided not to have a bridal party anyhow). It doesn't bother me in the slightest to not be in her bridal party. She actually laughed when her FMIL mentioned it and said, "why would I feel I have to include her? She's my sister- she's on a whole other level of importance that day. She doesn't need to be in the bridal party for people to know that she plays a more significant role in my life!" I thought that was cute.

Anyway, whatever you do, I suggest you do not include her just because you think you're "supposed to".

I feel obligated to have her but I know that she is a control freak and will try to take over lol

I am kind of surprised by everyone's responses. I don't know why but some family/friends become really negative as soon as they hear the word wedding. It's really a shame. My sister is my MOH and she was my first choice. We are only 1 year apart and she is my best friend. I couldn't imagine not having her there. I think you should let the situation cool off for a bit and and if you think she can handle it ask her to be a bridesmaid. She can also help in another capacity. I think it would make her feel included if you involved her in some part of the planning. If she is really that bad then forget it, she will only stress you out.

Then don't do it.

If it was really you weren't sure then I'd say think about it you have a long time to work it out. However it seems that you really don't want her there and its obligation that is chewing you up.

Screw that you don't owe anyone anything - your wedding day is about you and FI and if you think she'll take over and give you grief don't ask her