I'm So Screwed (Gown cost)

Ladies, some of you know the horrible time I've had trying to pick a gown. I found one that I honestly thought was close to being my "dream gown" a few months back. Was even lucky enough to find someone who was selling it in my size on Craigslist. I was ecstatic. But, here it is, 2 months later and I'm starting to realize why everyone always advises not to look too seriously at dresses too early.

 

Long story short, the more I got to thinking about it, the more I wanted something really different. The dress I picked before is beautiful, and it IS different in a way, but its still a very traditional type of design..Now that I've had some time to think, and see the direction I'm really trying to go with things overall, I've decided that I want to go a less traditional route. Add to that, the gown is fairly heavy...delustered satin with lace overlay. And I'm a "shiner"...I get hot and sweaty and the first thing that happens is my face starts to melt. I was willing to try to tough it out, but the more I think about it, the less I want to be worried about sizzling all afternoon and having photos taken. Problem is, I already committed to the sale of the previous gown. Here I am, a few hundred dollars in with someone who was nice enough to let me pay half down, and now I want to back out. Am I awful? I know..I know. I'll likely just pay the whole thing off and if I don't want to wear it, oh well. I can always resell it which I'd planned to do after the wedding anyway. Its just that I tried on a dress last week, that is almost identical to a Maggie gown that I KNOW I'm going to love when I see it on. The Maggie just has more embellishments which was my only complaint with the gown I tried on last week...wished it had more "oomph" to it, and the sales girl then told me about the Maggie dress. I went online and saw it and knew it was just what I'm looking for.

 

I feel awful about this. Wedding is already over budget, and we're still 11 months out. The gown I want to get is going to be twelve hundred dollars! I know some of you spent more than that on your gowns, but for a person who originally budgeted only $600 for my dress, this is a big kick in the gut, but I know I'll regret it if I don't get it. On top of the money I'm spending for a gown that I now know I won't wear. I cannot find the new "it" gown ANYwhere for less and don't like the idea of letting one of those overseas manufacturers do a knock off. I don't think they ever turn out quite the same. I just know FH would love seeing me in this thing, and I felt like it struck the right chord...different, yet still a wedding gown with a little sex appeal.

 

What do I do? Sorry for the long drawn out story, but I'm rambling this morning.

Dag, thats a tough situation in your in Savannah but seriously if you know that NOT getting the "it" dress will cause regret and all other types of feelings then maybe you should get it...bc then you wont be able to get the dress of your mind anyway and looking back you may think you should've just splurged on it bc it makes all the difference in the world to you & your wedding day. Good luck.

well, since you have 11 months i think it can work in your favor. 1st things 1st, if it was me, i would buy that other dress and immediately try to resell it (ASAP).

 

2nd, i would start trying on dresses and if you decide on one, don't go and spend double your budget, you can start searching on pre-owned wedding dresses.com and ebay and craigs list and all those other sites and hopefully find the dress you really want for less than the $1200 - if you don't you can decide if it is worth the extra $$ and order it, youhave plenty of time - the bridal shops can order most dresses with 3 or 4 months notice (even when they tell you they need more)

 

just don't jump the gun and make any more rash decisions.

 

it doesn't matter what anyone else spent, if you budgeted $600, $1200 is a HUGE step away and remember it is not 'just' the gown, you need a veil, shoes and other accessories, that $1200 gown can easily turn into $1500 or $1600!

Are there any trade-off's you can make to have the "it" dress? e.g. sell the other one as soon as you get it rather than waiting, reduce # of floral arrangements, cut back on the nice to have's....

 

I agree with Jessica, if you don't get the dream dress you may regret it.

Thanks ladies for the advice. Alyssa, I've scoured the internet...there are literally only like 5 pages of info that show up in the search engines and half of the listings aren't even for the damn thing anyway. Its just not out there. Even the twelve hundred is a reduced price...from one of the Ebay stores that order the gowns from the manufacturer for you. I trust them, cuz the they've been doing it for years and they have great feedback. So that is the best "deal" out there. haahaha..ahh, what a joke.

 

I'm not wearing a veil, and I'm doing barefoot sandals. So thats at least a small piece of good news because I know beyond alterations, what I pay for my dress ultimately is all I will need to worry about in terms of attire. I'm just the type that likes to have things squared away, not to mention for the purposes of paying things off, I'd rather have a dress ordered and be paying for it instead of waiting til the last minute and coughing up $1200+ all at one time. Especially with the other expenses that will be going on the closer we get to D-Day.

Oh, that thing is GONE the minute I can get rid of it. I'm definitely selling it right away...and at least I can advertise it as being worn only once. I know its a rare find as far as second hand, cuz I looked far and wide before finding it myself. So that will go a little way toward reducing the cost, if I can get a buyer for it I guess.

Personally, backing out of the deal w/the other person would not be an option for me. I'd have to bite the bullet and pay for the dress.

You can always turn around and resell it again...

 

As for the 'other' dress, how do you know exactly how you'll feel about that one another few months down the road.

 

The dress I have purchased was the first and only dress I tried on... the only one that really 'jumped out at me.' I, like you, found it at a bargain price - 1/2 of the original asking price (!) but still costing $700 BEFORE alterations. I'm now wondering if I want to wear that one now at all... and we're only about 6 months out! I'm thinking it's too dressy for a DW...

 

Decisions, decisions... If you want the other dress, go for it. Might it drop in price if you sit on it for a while? (mine did!)

 

Good luck!

Ya, thats what I'm thinking..it may drop in a few months. I'm making a decision and ordering SOMEthing by August. Thats the self imposed deadline I'm giving myself, and after that I simply am NOT looking at any other gowns or giving myself any room to change my mind. I loved the knock off I tried on, and it truly is almost an exact duplicate of the Maggie I am thinking of buying, so I know I'll love it on. I'm going to try to find a sample to try on so I can see for certain how the true dress will look and feel. Same thing happened with me, I decided that the other gown is too dressy...too traditional for a beach wedding on top of being so heavy. This one is a slim A-line and fitted, so theres a smaller train and its MUCH lighter weight. Thats a big consideration for me now.

I don't plan to back out of the deal...I'm just not enthusiastic about paying for a dress knowing I'm not wearing it, hell I'm only human. But oh well..it is what it is. I just hope I can get some of my money back from it.

http://bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/t21375

 

here is a list of places that sell bridal gowns for less.

 

what is the gown you love? Maybe someone here has seen something like it.

 

I wouldn't blow your budget on a dress. Witha tight budget, the dress is something really variable. Other costs are fixed & you can't do anything about them. Keeping my dress budget low was one of the things that helped me the most in staying in budget. don't forget alteration costs either. At the same time you should also have a gown you love. Tricky, I know. But, it can be done. Especially with 11 months.

The dress is a Maggie, style is "Brandy". I'd have NEVER picked this in a million years..I know I've been through that site a hundred times in the last six months and I never even clicked on the thing because of the silhouette. Go figure, I try on eerily similar style and its perfect.

 

I'm determined to find the damn thing for less than twelve. I just can't NOT try to get it, but at the same time, I just can't pay that much beyond my budget cuz something else will suffer. Funny, this came about from me trying to find ways to shave money off the budget in the first place..ironic.

 

I'll take a look at that link, Morgan..as usual, thanks.