QQ for Photographers (at home, not away)

Danielle (& other photogs) -- I have a sticky question for you.

 

In Mexico, among Mexicans (even in the posh crowd my FMIL rolls with), it is extremely uncommon to provide your vendors with any meals. The sentiment is that those people are there doing work on your dollar and aside from a small snack (if even that), the vendor should be prepared to be working and not eating. Personally, I think this is really rude to not provide your vendor with a meal. But.... it's not custom there. My FMIL and FI are pretty adamant about not giving vendors meals. Our photographer is hired for 5 hours (from about 4:30 pm to about 9:30 pm), videographer is for ceremony only and maybe cocktail hour (1-2 hours at most), DJ will be there for around 6 hours. Our venue doesnt even offer vendor meal options... its the fancy plated dinner (which is about $100/head) or nothing.

 

When Jose & I went to a wedding in Mexico last year, the dinner began around 8 and the party went all through the night and we left at 6 am the next morning, though people were still drinking and dancing. I spoke with the groom who is FI's best friend, and they did not serve any of their vendors anything.

 

What are your thoughts? Should I just give up and give in to the fact that I have no control over the cultural custom, or should I insist (which will probably be at my own expense if I do) that they get food. Really the only one that I think is necessary is the photographer.

wow maura, i didnt know this! i think if i had the $ i would make sure to ask them what they prefer, meal or not, and then order the plated meal at my own expense. it just seems wrong not to.

 

but then of course, the reason i asked in the first place is because i was kind of thinking, i'm a grown and responsible adult, and if i was out and about away from food or home for more than a 3 hour stretch, i would bring at least snacks and something to drink with me. so i wasn't sure if that's how someone in the business of not being able to easily access food or home might be too.

both jose & his mom will be mad at me if i go ahead and order a vendor meal - they both argued with me that the photographer will have done enough mexican weddings to know that he shouldnt expect a meal and that he (and any other vendor) should plan accordingly knowing how their schedule goes to slip in snacks. ive basically been told that the discussion is closed and that we arent doing it, im just debating whether to push it any further...

 

we are not going to be really sitting down eating our meal when everyone else is, we plan on making rounds to tables to say hi to everyone, so its not like the photographer wouldnt have anything to do during the meal time

 

i just feel weird about not offering, but ive been told its not custom and so we arent doing it

Wow Maura....that's a tough one! I didn't realize it was a cultural thing either. I would do what feels best to you, your FI might have a point that they may be aware of this custom...

 

But if at the very least if you can't get through to them....I would provide them with snacks and such! But if this is something that they are aware of I'm sure they will be prepared for the long day.

 

It's a tough thing....I always get pissed when I see the band eating all the food at the vendor buffet and they've been there for 2 hours and we've been with the couple for 7 and by the time we get to the food there's NOTHING left! That pisses me off! I have shot weddings were I have been given every course and some where I get a club sandwich, and I am perfectly happy with the sandwich, it just gets me when they charge the couples $65 for a measly club sandwich and bag of chips!

Maura,

Are your vendors local and will they be aware of the custom? If not, you should probably give them a courtesy heads up to bring snacks/drinks... otherwise you might have one cranky photographer.. and/or sick from the heat, hard work, and lack of food.

yep, all my vendors are local. i think you're right, maybe some kind of heads up to bring snacks. i feel so wrong about this, but FI & his mom wont budge and i really cant afford to pay it out of my own pocket because of all the other stuff i am paying for, im just kinda maxed out right now. if i feed my photog out of my own pocket, that would severely diminish his tip.

my FI's argument is that all the vendors know its a mexican wedding, theyve all dealt with my FMIL in one way or another, so they shouldnt be surprised. we will for sure provide them with plenty of water to drink.

Maura- I doubt the site would allow it, but could you have like sub sandwiches brought in for them?

 

I guess since it's a cultural custom, the vendors will already understand. However, I could NEVER work that long without food. I'd be grouchy and horrible to deal with. Thank God I'm not a vendor because my health issues wouldn't allow for me to go without food for that long!

 

With that in mind though, I always have food. Steve says that's one of the things he loves about me. I always have some type of snack/bar in the purse just in case. LOL- I guess a way to his heart really is the stomach.

i already asked and the site wont allow us to bring in sandwiches or anything else. bastards.

So can the vendors bring in their own packed lunches? Or is that a no-no?

I'm the same way. There is always a snack in my purse. I get really miserable when I'm hungy. I get dizzy, start to slur my speech & can't think straight. I have to eat every few hours to avoid feeling bad.