Guest issue!

you have to be joking!! I've told my lot to book it for themselves its not costing me if they back out - you're too nice lol

I personally would not invite someone that I didn't want to or plan on inviting!

While it's great that people may want to come on vacation with you, what they don't realize is that there are a lot of per person charges that you have to pay for on your actual wedding day even though it's an all-inclusive.

 

I would just try and make it clear that while people are welcome to join you on vacation (if you like, but maybe you also want to keep the vacation time a family and close friends time?) but that you can only accomodate those who have been invited for the actual wedding ceremony and reception.

 

Good luck, that's a tough situation! I will not be sending out my STD's for awhile yet (still haven't determined a date/place) but I'm afraid I may encounter the same problem...

me too.. all the people i really want to come are unsure and/or said they can't come. meanwhile people who were on the "b-list" sent in their RSVPs. people who heard word of mouth asked if they can come or told us straight out they will come. it's upsetting and stressful, but i decided screw it... regardless of who does or doesn't come, my FI and are going and it's gonna be AWESOME.

omg I can so relate!! we are facing the same issue, the family members are complaining that its too much and half of them are not going to make it...and then the friends that we hardly see that we thought would not come--have already RSVPd and booked!!

ugh! i've been fighting with this issue since we announced our wedding location! it seems like random people (co-workers, friends of friends, friends of family members, distant cousins) want to take a vacay in hawaii and go to our wedding! we had a huge arguement between the two parents b/c they couldn't understand why only immediate family were invited and why they would need to turn down their friends and other family. but we're paying for the whole thing ourselves and basically told everyone else that it's an extremely small location and we only budgeted for a certain amt of people. that usually stops the self-invites since we imply that we don't have the money to have a hundred people there...and then we tell them the date of our AHR and that usually works out pretty well.

 

I would send out save the dates asap if I were you. and let word get around that guest space is limited to the people who received notice...

i had the same issue however we were upfront especially with both sets of parents that we wanted a small, intimate wedding with our immediate family and our closest friends. we told them who exactly is on the guest list and did not ask their input on who we should invite. we kept it at that. then i got a couple of calls saying oh can i invite so and so. i said no we are keeping our guest list to a minimum. do not feel bad or budge on your guest list. it's your wedding invite who you want!!!

Funny, how people are, I think that even if I were a potential guest I would respect the b&G and wait to get an invite prior to asking / booking a vacation.. I wouldn't want to intrude. It all comes back to people thinking that is just a group vaca and not a personal experience.

You ain't kidding- I really think that no one is normal! They are all weird. Just when you thought you knew someone.

I like that quote- I am stealing it!

aint that the truth- I try to tell myself that no matter what - 20 years from now I will not remember, nor care about who added to the stress / attended, I will remember the amazing wedding we had and how very special it was.... I keep trying to tell myself not to sweat the small stuff! But on the other hand I don't want to be "wrong" and end up a bitchy bride by sticking to my guns / or a bridezilla for loosing it dealing with peoples shit...

O well!

I had the same problem too! What's up with people who think they can invite themselves to someone's wedding?? I just don't get it. Luckily for us, it turned out to be just few extra people (friend of a friend type thing; they were more like an acquaintance for us), so we just sucked it up, and ended up "officially" inviting them as well. I don't know what we would have done if there were more though.

 

It's tough, but at the end the day, it's your wedding so it's your call. If you tell people that you want it to be small and intimate, will they get a clue?

Hopefully they will get a clue! At this point it is only one extra couple, and they were pretty good friends with FI at one point, but always mainly more his brothers friends...

 

If I send them an invite and suck it up I also open up the fact that I want to invite another friend that is kinda "random"

 

the more the merrier!?

 

Funny cuz my close family are the ones struggling with booking, and on top of it they are the ones with the $$$ to go!

I am so glad to hear that I was not the only one who had to deal with this. I swear our STD cards were being passed around like trading cards. I think my mom was the main culprit. I was getting phone calls from the most random people saying "I heard you are getting married in Jamaica...You know I'll be there." I'm thinking how are you going to be there if you weren't even invited. In the end it all worked out. Most of my family was unable to come for various reasons (that's another set of issues) so that left us with a few slots open. As long as we were under 50 people the price for our reception was going to be the same so in February we just opened it up to anyone that wanted to come..LOL. We stayed under 50 and we have a few people coming to our wedding who we have never even met! But oh well I am so over all the drama I just want to be married already.