Help me plan my wedding

I think a backyard cocktail party with hor d'ouerves would be super nice and can be done pretty inexpensively...

This caterer is super reasonable and I read a review on Chowhound and she's supposed to be good... http://www.corinnescatering.com/CateringMenu.pdf

This place is reasonable for rentals...http://www.greatneckparty.com/rentals.pdf

Instead of renting china, try going to the dollar store and picking up some plain white plates since it's only hor d'ouerves you'd only need some small ones and can sometimes find them for 2/$1 and plain white will fit with any decor

If you got all finger foods you wouldn't need to worry about silverware except for maybe forks for cake (but you could eliminate that altogether with cupcakes!) but again, you can get silverware at the dollar store for super cheap and most people would never know the difference.

If they have trees in the backyard decorate by hanging white paper lanterns and surround the area with candle luminaries on the ground...so pretty in the evening and super affordable!

DIY centrepieces like this can be done really inexpensively as well and can look super classy... DSC00764.jpg - Image - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting (sorry...the bad furniture kind of detracts for the centrepiece, but imagine it on a table with white linen - pretty!!) You can get the Manzanita branches for $2.50/bundle which should make about 3 arrangements and the curly willow stuff is around $4.00 which makes 3-4 arrangements as well. Throw in a couple bunches of orchids and you're set. (And I'm sure you could find some hurricanes somewhere for around $6-10 each)

Like Sarah said, buy your own alcohol and then hire a bartender...LI & NYC Party Staff, Bartenders, Waiters, Waitresses, Caterers - New York Wedding Services - Kijiji New York

I'm sure you can find a friend who has some half decent sound equipment...ask to borrow it and use an Ipod for music (speakers can be hidden pretty easily so it won't tack things up) and really I don't think anyone would think any less of you for not having live music...

If you go the cocktail route, I can highly recommend using Columbia University's Bartending Agency. They're really well-trained, but because they're students it costs much less to hire them.

Columbia Bartending Agency

I hired one for my friend's bachelorette party: old-school cocktails and a burlesque lesson.

Poor 18-year-old bartender didn't know what hit her, but she managed to stay professional the whole time. I was really impressed.

Guys I am so sorry I haven't responded back, I actually don't have a computer at home so I had to wait to come into work to respond.

Let me begin by saying that I was literally in tears by how nice all of you have been with your gestures. I can't thank Tammy enough for starting this website. If it weren't for her I don't know what I would be doing right now.

The fact that you girls would offer your veils and dresses is just so amazing, you are way too sweet, all of you. I appreciate each and every comment.

Okay some random stuff:

Okay here is the link to the restaurant: Welcome

It doesn't have to be this restaurant, it was just one of the ideas thrown out there. Basically the $68 a person includes non-alcoholic drinks, wine, and beer throughout the entire event, an hour of passed h'ors d'ouevrds, hot antipasto including grilled shrimp, mozarella en carrozo, baked clams, fried calimari, a pasta, a salad, and a choice of three entress (fish, chicken, or filet mignon) and we get a cake (any kind we want, any style) plus desserts. It also includes, coffee, tea, and cordials.

I don't have to get a piano lady. I think the restaurant hires her and that was something they threw out there as an option but obviously it costs more.

As far as the backyard, it is pretty large. I don't want to get tents b/c they are expensive but if it rains I'm SOL. James is a bartender so he can buy alcohol wholesale and we can save a lot.

Another thing I didn't mention. My father and his best friends are chefs. So they are willing to cook whatever we want. I just didn't want to make my father and his friends cook for us KWIM? But I agree that we should just do one and not the other.

I could also look to another restaurant and see if I can get it cheaper like Alyssa said.

Glenda,

Does your father (and/or his friend) work privately or at a restaurant?

They all work at restaurants. But they can't get discounts or anything like that. I would basically purchase the food and then they could cook it. Although I really don't want to do this b/c then they don't get to enjoy it, they are working.

Ok, I have no idea how I missed this thread before - but here I am now! lol

I didn't read all of the posts, so I apologize if this is repeatative ... but here are my thoughts.

1) I think a lunch and dinner type thing might be overkill - at least it would be to me. Sure you could have the lunch, and if people want to hang out after, cool, but it doesn't need to be a fancy, extravagent affair. Go to the bars!

1) If they're willing to pay for a rehearsal dinner (and I agree that one is not needed) it would seem that this dinner would likely cost the same, if not more, than a lunch the day of the wedding. No? So, say you don't want the rehearsal, but can she pay for the lunch instead? If she needs proof, go get a quote where you'd have the rehearsal, and say here is what it would cost ... my hunch is that it would be the same or more than the lunch.

3) I'd say do your 11am wedding, then have a lunch afterwards. This lunch should be funded by the $5K + "rehearsal dinner" funds ... that should easily cover it - right?

4) If you really feel the need to have something organized afterwards, just have some drinks, or maybe just dessert at the house afterwards. Wedding cakes don't have to be that expensive ... get a small, pretty cake for show and pictures, and then have the rest as SHEET CAKE! - no one will know.

Glenda I know you don't want your dad to cook, but if his friends are willing to, I think the back yard is starting to sound like a better option and does it usually rain in late June on Long Island...I mean I know this spring has been soggy but I feel like by June we might dry up.

Honestly, the $68 pp is very reasonable for the above menu and all that it includes. I would still look for another restaurant, just to price shop. One thing to consider is to present a budget up front. We will have a reception for 100 guests and we need to stay at $60 a head including service, tax, etc. so you don't have to back track.

I understand not wanting to ask your family & friends to cook. That's one of the main reasons we wanted a DW. I know how I am and it will be hard enough keeping me out of the kitchen in my wedding dress at my AHR! You may find that you dad and his friends may want to present you a dish as their gift. Several of my colleagues are doing this as well as distributors and vendors I work with on a regualr basis. Calling in favors is the only thing that has made my AHR possible after the money we are spending on the actual wedding.