Help me plan my wedding

Ok ladies I need help. Sorry this is long but I need to give some background info. Originally James and I were going to get married in Cabo at Dreams on July 4, 2008. Well, FMIL and FFIL threw a hissy fit and FI's entire family was against it and I didn't want to cause a rift so we cancelled our DW.

Needless to say we were both really devestated but I just couldn't deal with marrying into a family and having everyone hate me. So anyways, along with a DW we had already planned to get married at a church in NY so that we could have a religious and legal wedding here and then have a symbolic wedding in Cabo. Even though we cancelled the DW, we never cancelled the church.

So now James and I want to just get married at the church (June 28, 200. Ummm yeah that's in like two months. Needless to say we never planned anything b/c we are having HUGE financial issues now and really we don't want the whole traditional wedding.

So now we need to figure out what to do. I don't even have a dress so I'm planning to just buy a white dress from Nordstrom or something. James will probably just buy a suit. I don't want to go crazy spending money that I don't have so I think I will just get a bouquet and not buy flowers for the church.

But we have to make a decision about what to do after the church. We threw around the idea of going to a restaurant afterwards. There is a cute little restaurant that we always eat at that is willing to hold a private party for us. It would be about $68 a person + tax and tip.

James wants us to invite family and close friends and have a lunch at the restaurant (our ceremony is for 11AM) and then have a Mexican style party at his house afterwards (they have a huge backyard). I like the idea but I think it can get pretty expensive. Unfortunately our families are huge and just inviting the immediate ones is close to 90 people. The restaurant only holds 140 people which is probably how many guest we would have. I'm scared that between the restaurant and the mexican style party we will end up spending over $20,000! This is just crazy considering we have no money right now and I don't want to rack up my credit cards.

So does anyone have any ideas?

Also I forgot to add, FMIL offered to pay $5,000 towards the restaurant and host a rehearsel dinner. I was thinking that instead of putting money towards a rehearsel dinner maybe we could ask her if she could just put it more towards the wedding day. Is that rude to ask of her? We really don't need a rehearsel dinner b/c we don't have a bridal party. I figure if she's willing to help (which I would like to add this help has never been offered until now) then maybe she would be open to the idea.

Glenda,

Are FFIL's and your parents willing to contribute anything?

ok, just saw this other message.

This is exciting! i have an idea, 1st I think you should ask her to contribute more towards the restaurant and cancel the rehearsal dinner, although i will be upset b/c as your MOH i would have wanted a rehearsal dinner LOL! haha

anyway, how much more do you think they will contribute...also how big is their backyard? how many people can it hold?

My parents gave us $20,000 when we first got engaged (2 years ago) to do whatever we wanted with it. We used it to furnish out apartment since we had nothing. We also paid off some debt. So now that money is gone. I can't ask my parents for a dime since they were super generous with us. His parents are willing to pay $5,000 + a rehearsel dinner.

I don't know that you would need to do both a luncheon and a dinner, especially if you will have repeat guests.

Does your wedding have to be in the AM? You could do a late night ceremony followed by great desserts and cocktails.

Their backyard is huge! It can hold a lot of people. Like literally hundreds. I wish we could just have something at their house instead of wasting money at the restaurant. Like just get it catered. But they are kind of uptight and I don't know if they would let us do this. To be honest I don't really care too much about what we end up doing. I am just excited to be getting married. The pomp and circumstance never really excited me much.

Glenda,

If your FILaw's backyard is big enough, what about hosting a cocktail reception there that night.

Let's say you have the church at 2pm then do the event from 4 to 8 - that kind of thing - we can really get creative with $10K - with his parents $5 and a little more from them, you and James could do $2K or $3??

Since FMIL is willing to do 5k and a rehersal, ask her what the bottom line number is. That way you have a realistic working budget.

Then, all of us BDW girls can ship your our wedding stuff (you'll have the "borrowed" covered!) to help save ca$h!