I Gotta Personal Question/Problem ~ Women

Damn, thanks for posting this. I spend A LOT of time feeling guilty about this. I used to be very sexually charged...and now I am like a freaking nun. It's weird. I know for me there are a million different layers:

health issues over the past 2 years (involving stress, anxiety, thyroid issues), multiple major life changes in a short period of time, going from being single & independant to married with step children, etc, etc.

But I think the biggest thing is that once we got into a rut it became a pattern and a power struggle. Like when I come home thinking "ok, this is it, tonight we're doing it" and something gets in the way on his end & it doesn't happen...then the next day he starts a fight with me about why we don't have sex! And then I get pissed & don't want to just give it up because he threw a fit, especially since I had great intentions the day before. Whew! Then the cycle continues. I think there is def a lot to be said for psyching yourself out a bit. If I spend some time focusing on sexy thoughts, then I can feel the drive revving up. But I forget to do this.

It seems like life just gets so complicated for us. Women see things in mulit-dimensional layers & we think about it all - all the time! Men are so linear & "single minded" - it's hard for them to appreciate how our brains are constantly on over load.

Christa - the power struggle thing is so true for me too! I have good intentions alot of times, then he calls me to tell me he is going to a friends house or to the bar after work and then I am all salty. And then exactly what you said happens! He complains and I say, well if you had come home yesterday....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christa But I think the biggest thing is that once we got into a rut it became a pattern and a power struggle. Like when I come home thinking "ok, this is it, tonight we're doing it" and something gets in the way on his end & it doesn't happen...then the next day he starts a fight with me about why we don't have sex! And then I get pissed & don't want to just give it up because he threw a fit, especially since I had great intentions the day before. Whew! Then the cycle continues. I think there is def a lot to be said for psyching yourself out a bit. If I spend some time focusing on sexy thoughts, then I can feel the drive revving up. But I forget to do this.   It seems like life just gets so complicated for us. Women see things in mulit-dimensional layers & we think about it all - all the time! Men are so linear & "single minded" - it's hard for them to appreciate how our brains are constantly on over load.

That def is bad timing on your germs part. A quiet house and you are too sick to enjoy it? Hope you feel better soon!

no wonder this thraed got so much traffic haha.. sex topic

OKAYY from a guys point of view... (and im not an idiot when it comes to this. dads OBGYN and took several sexuality classes in college) so understandable that a lot of women have this problem. and i hardly eve hear that its from bc or changing the bc switches it up...

was the sex life ever great? or was it just like kind of bland like having a PBJ for dinner when you are hoping for a fine meal? are you two pretty adventurous? do either one of you try to spice things up? its so common for things to go down (no pun) if it hasnt really been that great to begin with. is it like lights off kind of sex every friday or have you ever just wanted to pounce on him soon as he walks in the door cause you have been wanting it all day long?

try little baby steps. maybe watch some ummm "adult" movies together , or bring a little toy into the bedroom or something. you alwys want to try and keep things fresh and never ever have a routine. it should be so much more then just a "deed to be done" it should be about you two sharing the most intimate connection possible together and if you dont have a healthy completely loving relationship and where you are open to each others desires it wont ever be that great..

i hope you break this rut and get back on track... sounds to me like you really liked it in the begining because it was exciting and new so get out there and try somehing new.. pull over into a parking garage once and have a wild romp in the back seat

Oh your so not alone.. My FI always gets on me saying "were not even married.. were only 25! " So yeah.. I think it is just women in general.. I mean there are some out there who are addicts but i am not one of those girls I guess.