I love my hubby, but..........

As many of you know, DH and I do fostering for dogs and also volunteer at a local shelter. DH is in the process of becoming a certified trainer through one of the top animal training clinic's. Our plan was to eventually open a business and this training would come in handy for that business. SO the rescue group we volunteer with, as well as the shelter, are now asking DH to help train aggressive dogs. DH has only been taking classes for just over a month now, and it takes about a year to be certified. We just got done fostering an aggressive dog that we were only suppose to have for two days (he was with us for 2 months) well lucky for us, after he was neutered and we learned what set him off we were able to work around his aggression issues, but this wasn't easy and it caused me a ton of stress because I'm not a fan of dogs wanting to eat my limbs. (so to speak) So DH gets another email today from the rescue group we foster with about a 1 1/2 year old Boston that has aggression issues, apparently he has bitten small children and "some" adults. OK I know DH wants to save every dog out there, and I love him for that, but I don't know if I can handle another aggressive dog right now, we just adopted out the last one less then a week ago. I'm much better at nurturing a sick dog back to health, teaching a mill dog what it's like to be a dog or even giving a senior dog a place to live and be loved until they pass away. Aggressive dogs are another story, don't get me wrong I want to help these types of dogs because I really do feel that every dog can find a home that's perfect for them with some training. But I worry because DH and I have plans on wanting to start a family, and having a dog that is aggressive isn't something I would want to deal with if their is small child in our home.

On one hand, it is really sweet that your DH wants to help all dogs. But I can totally understand where you are coming from.

 

How long would this dog be with you? Just because you mentioned the wanting a family thing, the dog wouldn't be with you longer than 9 months right?

 

Or is it that you mean you feel like Cain is going to keep bringing home aggressive dogs in the future. I can definitely understand why you would be worried about having a dog like that around small children.

 

I would also imagine aggressive dogs would also pose a problem with other pets in your house as well too right? Sounds like a lot to handle!

Tammy, first of all thank you for all you and your DH do. We had tossed around the idea of fostering but just dont have the emotional or mental strength to do it, so thank you!!! Secondly, your DH and you must have nack for dealing with these aggressive dogs and making them adoptable. If you guys plan om trying to have children, that does take time so in the mean time maybe work with this Boston and then have a sit down with your DH about your priorites and what is best for your family.

Oh Tammy - you and Cain are just too sweet. I can totally see your concerns, totally valid. Maybe you can make a compromise and only have 1 "aggressive" dog a year, or something reasonable? And when you do have children in the house, you can agree that you won't foster any more aggressive dogs. I've got to think that Cain would agree to that, no?

Jessica, each dog you foster you never really know how long they will be with you. Shoot before we adopted out Bennie (our aggressive foster) we are also fostering a mill girl, we have had her for over 6 months now, Bennie was with us about 2 months and was adopted out before her. So we never really know how long each dog will stay with us. Even more so if the dog needs more training then others, we won't feel comfortable adopting out a dog to anyone until we feel it's a good match and the dog and family can adjust well.

Having a dog in the house that is aggressive doesn't really mean they will be aggressive towards other dogs or animals for that matter, some dogs are aggressive towards people who wear hats, only men, other dogs, and so on. Of course we would have to draw the line to bringing home a dog that is dog or cat aggressive because we would never put our pets at risk. However eventually we plan on opening up a center that can house those types of dogs so that they can be worked on, but we are no where near that point.

Cain wouldn't accept a dog without talking it over with me first. I try to be as supportive as possible, because this is only things that can help in our future. However I still have a higher fear towards aggressive dogs then he does, shoot their isn't a day that goes by that when he is at the shelter that he doesn't get bitten by a dog.

I dont have much advice to give, I love dogs but never have owned one. I cant even imagine how much patience and strength you & Cain must have and I seriously give you soooo much credit!!! Thats really awesome that your bettering the lives of innocent animals.

Cain would never put our future chilren at risk. But lets face it, if I'm all stressed out all the time that can't be good with TTC. ya know? Sometimes I just need a break, but when you have your house full with pets that need to be rehabilitated, that just doesn't happen because your guard is always up or they need your constant attention.

Maybe we should just take it "case by case" sort of thing..

It's difficult my FI is a dog trainer and handler in the Army and so he deals with them all day every, agressive and non agressive, mostly agressive.

 

I recently took on his spaniel that he had had for a while with serious aggression problems thing is I already have a rottie (she thinks she's human) and is as soft as anything and I have to say I was more worried for her than the spaniel lol

 

He still has aggression problems and I still get the teeth sometimes but he's a lot better 2 months on, with love and affection he has totally turned around. The thing is FI is in the army so he isn't here all the time so I'm doing it on my own! lol

 

If you have FI there it should be fine, why not say look I'll have him/her for a week if it is too much then he goes somewhere else, that is a good compromise and sometimes they aren't as aggressive as people portray them to be.

 

Hope that helps

Tammy i think you tell Cain exactly what you just said here. The MOST important thing in your life right now is ttc, and your physical and mental health. Cain loves you so much that I think he would understand your fear of what the stress of caring for this type of dog could do for your ability to stay focused on your main goal. Tammy sometimes you need to put other things second, and you first, and maybe this is one of those times. As always I am wishing you faith, hope, and happiness.

Thanks kelly.. That is one of my problems, that I put other people before myself. Cain is the exact same way, maybe that is why I get stressed over things, because I'm taking on more then I should. But it's a fine line for me to learn, like being supportive without just giving in. I mean I can stand my ground on stupid things but stuff that I know is important to Cain, I tend to just let him do what makes him happy, and in turn I end up really stressed. (IE prime example, saying it was ok for two of his cousins and his mother to move in with us)