husband vent

Everton already called D and told him not to come, the thing is E never, and i mean never get's upset about anything he is a whatever you want, kelly, is good with me kind of guy, so this is unusual about how strongly he feels about this, i will never get it, but this time i guess i have to except that a lost this battle Whoa that is quite the run on sentence:)

Hey there Kelly. I gotta admit....as irrational as it sounds......I would probably be the same way. It's not as much about the friend doing the work as it is about Everton not doing it. Does that make sense? I would feel really weird about having a friend come over to do something that I had been meaning to do for a long time. I would kinda feel like a failure and that I let Karen down.

So, yes its somewhat of a pride thing, but more that he wants to be the one that gets the job done for his family.

Okay don't be mad but I'm taking Everton's side...kind of.

Men have egos just like the sky is blue, that's hard to get around. I don't know all the details but just from what you've shared I think he feels really really bad. He's been working his butt off, sick, and probably scared about his health and what is making him ill.

Then on top of that another man, a friend at that, is going to come into his home and take care of his family business since Everton obviously can't add that to the plate right now. I bet he wants to do it, but can't, and it has to make him feel like a little bit of a failure, you know?

I know his daughter should come first and he should just suck it up and let someone else give him the help that he needs, but maybe he wants to take care of his daughter himself...you know?

I'm going through something similar with a friend who is dying and she will not let people do things for her because she is so stubborn and wants to believe she can do them herself when she has the time and health...it is so frustrating so I feel your pain. Can you just let him have this one for now?

Or maybe set a time frame to appease everyone, like maybe a month, painting 15 minutes at a time? I just think Everton feels awful already (why do you think he is unusually upset?) and taking this from him won't help. Sorry if I offended and maybe I'm wrong, but men have feelings too and this isn't any easy time for him either...good luck )

I was going to say something along the same line as Jamy had said. Perhaps the reason he feels so strongly about this is because of the recent circumstances. He's been sick... and men have these macho egos, maybe he precieves getting help from your friend as a sign of weakness on his part.

I think maybe he may feel that as the man, he should take care of his family and his home. He should be the protector, provider, fixer-upper. Being sick may have made him even more vulnerable to the fact that he can't "do it all" right now.

It's just a thought.

I think I would just let it go.

I know you said one of the rooms has a really tall ceiling or something. Is Bria's room with tall ceilings? Or is it a manageable height? Is there anyway maybe you and Bria, and even a friend of Bria's can just have a girlie painting party type of deal and paint her room?!

Hey there Kelly. I gotta admit....as irrational as it sounds......I would probably be the same way. It's not as much about the friend doing the work as it is about Everton not doing it. Does that make sense? I would feel really weird about having a friend come over to do something that I had been meaning to do for a long time. I would kinda feel like a failure and that I let Karen down.

So, yes its somewhat of a pride thing, but more that he wants to be the one that gets the job done for his family.

I think this makes perfect sense. You know as much as I say I would love a cleaning lady, I think in reality I would feel like a failure. I guess its a pride thing and maybe this sounds stupid but I like feeling like I can take care of my FI in traditional female roles.

So I thought it was irrational but now Jason and Jamy made me see the light and I agree with them. LOL.