Any one else NOT changing their last name?

jarauz · February 26, 2008

very good question...I am also debating on this...My only problem with changing my name is that I would have to go through a hard time changing over my nurses license and all paper work......ooohh god....

starchild · February 26, 2008

There's no rushing the decision ladies, take all the time you need to make sure you get it right. I got married last June and still have my maiden name! Partly because it took me 6+ months to decide what to do, and partly because I've been lazy(shhh!).

My thing was that I like my maiden name and my middle name, so I didn't want to get rid of either. I also want to take DH's name. In the end I've decided to add the maiden name on to the middle name and use his last name as mine. I didn't want to hyphenate, and I didn't want to use 2 last names and be under "D" (for mine) in some systems and "J" (for his) in others. As it is my maiden name has a space (de xxxxx) so that would get too tricky!

BarefootBride · February 26, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dbld78

I am not planning to change my name, I am professionally established with my name and I've had it for 29 years and that's how everyone knows me and that's the way I'll keep it!

We do plan on having children and I get this question all the time...."but your kids will have a different last name then you won't that bother you?" And my answer to that is....half the kids have different last names from their children due to divorce and remarriage and if it doesn't bother me why should it bother anyone else. I have lots of clients who are professionals and they never changed their names and their children carry their father's last name.

I love my name and my family traditions and am proud of what my family represents and my family traditions and would never consider being something that I'm not! I'm marrying Tim not becoming his property. Our children will have his last name because they are part of him. We are partners in a marriage and that doesn't require me to change my name.

That's just how I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinions and reasons for changing or not changing.

I agree with you. If you are established professionally or will be (Like the Future Drs) I would keep my name. I want to be traditional but then I really am not the traditional kinda woman either. It took me a long azz time to really settle down and I really would like for FI to take my name honestly! lol People call me by my last name anyways -so most of my friends dont even use my first name!
And as a teacher - you are so right... I have had many kids with different names and their parents. My kids will all have my last name and his last name.

pryzeless · February 26, 2008

I am having a really hard time with this. There is something romantic in changing your name to your husband's but I have been a professional and at my job for over five years. If I change it, the reputation I have built up will be gone. (Well not gone but hard to find without an explanation.)

jean-marcus · February 26, 2008

here is the question i have for those that didnt change their last name (and had kids) ... what are the childrens last names?

Dbld78 · February 26, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by pryzeless

I am having a really hard time with this. There is something romantic in changing your name to your husband's but I have been a professional and at my job for over five years. If I change it, the reputation I have built up will be gone. (Well not gone but hard to find without an explanation.) And it cost alot of money to change my name in order to practice law.

that's really important! when you are a professional in any industry and especially being a woman, you would never want to change what you've worked so hare to establish.

i told my FI that socially people can call me MRS. C but professionally and legally my name will be MS. D!

to me i can't stress enough.....i want to keep my individuality! i know it's a tradition with great roots our grandmothers did it, our mothers did it. well it's a different world we live in now and i'm not your traditional bride.

the best part is my mother and grandmothers had NO problem with it and neither did my FI but of all people my FI's oldest brother flipped out.....ahahahahha well screw him, i'll do what i want!

CarrieRN · February 26, 2008

My sister is an optometrist and got married after school. She uses her maiden name (our maiden name?) at work and her husband's name for other things. Her hubby is greek and it is a difficult last name. She said when she wants them to remember her name, she uses our name. When she wants people to forget her name, she uses her married name.

I will probably change my name. I like my maiden name (which I took back after my first marriage) and had considered just keeping it, but then I met FI. I like his name too. I get to keep an Irish surname. His twin's wife kept her maiden name. And I think his sister uses her maiden name professionally. FI doesn't really care which way I decide. The paperwork to change names is a PITA though.

nenamono · February 26, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dbld78

I am not planning to change my name, I am professionally established with my name and I've had it for 29 years and that's how everyone knows me and that's the way I'll keep it!

We do plan on having children and I get this question all the time...."but your kids will have a different last name then you won't that bother you?" And my answer to that is....half the kids have different last names from their children due to divorce and remarriage and if it doesn't bother me why should it bother anyone else. I have lots of clients who are professionals and they never changed their names and their children carry their father's last name.

I love my name and my family traditions and am proud of what my family represents and my family traditions and would never consider being something that I'm not! I'm marrying Tim not becoming his property. Our children will have his last name because they are part of him. We are partners in a marriage and that doesn't require me to change my name.

That's just how I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinions and reasons for changing or not changing.

I agree with you, marriage is 100% a partnership and filled with compromise. I know this sounds cheesy but I love my last name and that it represents who I am and I feel by me completely changing it that gets lost and I become someone else or property of someone else and that just isn't me.
I told my FI I would compromise and hyphenate but that he would have to do the same he looked at me like I had four eyes. I don't think I was asking for anything unreasonable he is asking me to change something important in my life but he wouldn't do that for me. That is insulting and hurtful. So obviously compromise went out the window and we are each keeping our own last names.

Dbld78 · February 26, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by nenamono

I agree with you, marriage is 100% a partnership and filled with compromise. I know this sounds cheesy but I love my last name and that it represents who I am and I feel by me completely changing it that gets lost and I become someone else or property of someone else and that just isn't me.
I told my FI I would compromise and hyphenate but that he would have to do the same he looked at me like I had four eyes. I don't think I was asking for anything unreasonable he is asking me to change something important in my life but he wouldn't do that for me. That is insulting and hurtful. So obviously compromise went out the window and we are each keeping our own last names.

isn't it strange how much this means to them? and they just don't seem to get how much it means to us. like you said he looks at you like you have 4 eyes when you asked him to hyphenate!

it's some kind of strange manly thing....well then this is some kind of strange womanly thing! my FI didn't fight me at all he seemed to be a little defeated but he got over it quickly, it will pass. i compromised by saying that socially they could call me MRS. C and that was to satisfy his ego, sometimes you just have to give in a little. then again he knows how independant i am that i was raised to be an independant self sufficent woman who didn't need a man. my father made sure that my sister and i could care for ourselves in the event that we were to ever have to do it on our own. and i see nothing wrong with that.

give him sometime he might loosen his grip on name reigns!

starchild · February 26, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by jean-marcus

here is the question i have for those that didnt change their last name (and had kids) ... what are the childrens last names?

When I was thinking of going that route I was going to hyphenate the kids' names when we had them so we were both represented. Poor little things, it's hard enough learning to spell one last name, they would have cursed me for giving them 13 letters and a hyphen...lol

Best Destination Wedding Sponsors

Any one else NOT changing their last name?

Recommended Posts

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Link to comment

Share on other sites

Join the conversation

Posts

Topics