Need some expert advice.. to invite or not?

What are the reasons you don't want her there? Is it simply because you've grown apart, or was there some big falling out? If it's the former, why not send the invite? Besides, you guys might find some new things in common at J's wedding and really want her at yours anyway. If it's the latter, though, don't bother.

Thanks for all your feedback ladies! I guess the reason why I wasn't going to invite her was because we aren't really friends - have really been for 5 years - but - that being said - I am tight with the other girls so I might as well just invite her!

You ladies rock!

If you havent spoken to her in almost 3 years is she technically your friend? Don't waste the invite. If someone whom I havent spoken to in years sends me an invitation, I would feel as if I have to go ONLY because I got an invitation and well, if its a destination wedding and I have to spend money to get there then I certainly wouldnt go. I think I would go out my way and spend money to go to a wedding if it was my close friend or family member. So dont worry I dont think you will cause problems. If your friends ask you why you didnt invite her, just tell them that you two havent talked for over 3 years.

well its your day and your fi's as well so if there is any chance that it would cause you distress or your fi since he doent like her husband dont invite

In this case, I would probably invite her and avoid any weird situations in the future. She may not be able to make your wedding.