Off Your Chest

Dear Sarah - I read it. Glad you got that off your chest!

Dear world - I am a good person. I put a lot of positive stuff out into the world. I am responsible, I do the right thing, I pay my bills on time. I would like to formally request you stop sending me negative shit. Of all things, I have to find out my DH's credit score has gone down 75 points in a month!! And this is because he apparently develops a "phobia" of paying bills when things are stressful in his life?? What? What?? So now I take all his bills from him & I am in charge of it so this doesn't happen again - but what now? We are buying a house! How could this happen? How could a grown man with plenty of money in the bank have bill paying anxiety? And why now? Fuck!

Dear Sarah, I'm glad you are going to pick your brother up. You must be soooo excited to see him!

Dear Christa, I'm sorry you're going through this crap with your DH. Let us know how it goes with the mortgage.

Dear Maria,

I second that!!!!

Dear Self,

I am very proud of you today!! You went into Last Chance and held on to that $550 bag you were stealing for $150, with ladies following you all over the place. Then with one thought about the wedding you put that bag down and left the premises. You really have changed.....I guess this is you in love!

Dear FI,

Thank you for offering to buy that bag for me. Please realize that I am never "without" so you do not have to worry about that for one second. My willpower prevailed for once! This just means I'm getting a killer christmas present right I love you so much! Don't forget to get your ass home at 2 so we can hit the gym!

Dear School District,

I hate you, but gotta say thanks for the week long fall break!

Dear FI,

After recieving our STDs today from the printer I must admit something..I'm kind of mad at you! They look so boring to me, but since you did not want anything at all over the top this is what I'm dealing with. Please note that for the rest of this planning, you will not be included with any of these fun projects again! I have STD envy of all the other ladies on the BDW!! Honey, be aware when I do the invites, they are going to blow your mind...whether you like it or not! Still love you though.....

Dear FI,

You are almost 34 years old. It is time to grow up and start being responsible. I know you have a great job and blah blah blah, but that does not mean you can turn into a raging 16 year old kid whose parents are out of town every weekend. We live in a nice house. It is NOT a frat house. I don't like walking down my basement and seeing it covered with empty beer cans and pizza boxes. Fine, you and your friends get drunk while watching Sunday football, that is perfectly acceptable. But, I am not your maid and I will not clean up your drunk messes. Please start acting your age and learn how to drink like an adult and clean up after yourself and your friends. Thank you!

Dear Self,

Do not walk down the basement until Mike has finished cleaning it, it will only piss you off even more.

Dear Corks,

Please behave and go to the vet with us tonight and be a good doggy. You have an ear infection and we need to get you better. It is so cute when you shake your head side to side, but I know it's hurting you.

Dear Erik:

Hi so Thank you for being so sweet to me all weekend long....telling me you love me every hour on the hour, giving me kisses, helping me with cleaning the house yesterday. You were and are the perfect husband right now

The only thing I have to complain is your co-worker, meeting his family yesterday was very interesting....The wife wasn't all that nice. Also He seems a little creepy...I know you clicked with him because it seems like he is like you but you shouldn't be too friendly to him and tell him EVERYTHING, especially since you just meet him on Monday (he just started).

Their is something weird about him....I just can't put my finger on it. I'm sorry if I'm acting mean but I already told you this.

I also REALLY don't like how he feels comfortable enough with you (and he works below you) to show you porn sites with visiting our home for the first time. Very inappropriate.

I really don't like how he will be stopping by our house most this week since you are training him and from your home office rather than your Work office.

sorry to B**ch

Dear Midol:

I Love you!!!!!

Dear self -

Good job being so motivated today - great work out & then 5.5 hours of billable work!! Excellent.

Dear mortgage broker -

I'm glad I called you today. I was kinda freaking out over DH's recent credit rebellion. Thank you for listening, and thank you for letting me know we aren't completely screwed! Maybe I'll sleep better tonight.

Dear inexperience, unprofessional & crass recruiter that keeps calling me-

You don't understand what I do, you don't understand the terms used on my resume & you can't understand why my previous employer paid me what they did. WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU You are presumptive, pompous and STUPID. I hope you get fired after I call your supervisor & tell them how unprofessionally you behaved with me. Suck it.

Dear work -

I like that I get to travel for work sometimes. I am ok with spending 6 weeks in chicago even though it means trying to buy a wedding dress in a city i don't live in. But why did you put me in a hotel with suites so I have a kitchen and a separate bedroom and free access to Crunch gym only to now tell me you made a deal with a different hotel and i have to move? Now I will be in a regular hotel room without free gym access (a gym i have actually been using by the way) and i will have to eat at restaurants because i will no longer have even a mini fridge. How will I freakin lose 10 pounds for my wedding if I have to eat out for all my meals??

Would it really be so bad to let me stay where i am?