Off Your Chest

Dear Mom and Dad...

OMG Mom seeing your house on TV made me realize that you have WAY too many precious moments, I mean come on, why do you need 7 pillows on the back of your couch. And Dad, who says "I'll do your ham" OMG.. OH and why did you tell the state of MI that you were a coal miner,, it's not like you just left that job last week, I was two when we moved to michigan, and he haven't been around a coal mine ever since........

Christa you didn't see it.. I'm SOOO glad when I got my divorce I never returned to my maiden name.. :-)

Dear DH,

I love you dearly, but dryer lint does not go in the laundry room sink.

Seriously.

The garbage can is right next to your knees.

It's called bending.

Uh oh...that must mean it was bad. Oh well, it's not you, it's your parents. Just don't answer the phone for a while

Dear crazy bitch at the apartment leasing office -

OMG, I've been asking you since before 10/1 if we could extend our lease from a 3 month to a 6 month, thereby getting rid of the $100 premium we are paying! I've asked you about it 3 times since then & you always say you will get back to me. So the fact that I happened to run into you this morning after working out & you brought it up, was welcomed. I told you I'd come by to sign the updated lease. And you have the gall to say to me "oh, by the way, can you start cleaning up after your dog." WHAT WHAT?? Fuck you. Why don't y'all stock the doggy poop bag dispenser with bags? Because when I walk away to find something else to pick her crap up with, I come back & I can't find it - because she's a chihuahua, and her shit is miniscule!

Thank you. I hate you.

Dear FI,

why do you think that pictures of our wedding are unimportant?? Do you not understand that this is the most important day of our lives? I understand that it is a lot of money, however, I want to have some nice professional pictures, not just the drunk crooked ones that your friends take. And yes, I will look at our wedding album many times after the wedding, it will not just sit and collect dust, and so what if it does, I can still open it anytime I'm mad at you and relive a happy day! So no, I don't care what you say, we're not cancelling the photographer!

p.s. if you weren't happy with the price of the photographer, then we should have discussed this prior, not a week before our wedding!! You didn't want to give any input when you had the chance, so now you get none!