Off Your Chest

I'm thinking of (and praying for) your dad today too.

Thanks Jen!

Dear Wedding Gown, and specifically Ms. Lhuillier:

 

Why oh why is there nothing in the world that is better motivation for me to workout than you. What's your secret? Why isn't there something comparable after the wedding that equates to your motivation? Why did it take 28 years for me to finally find that motivation?

 

Thank you, for being such a motivator that I workout 6 days a week and still feel like more? I've never been motivated more than I am with you. I just got off the treadmill for 45 minutes and feel like putting in Hip Hop Abs. It's amazing what you do to me!

 

Please, please do not let this motivation fade after I get married! I need your special powers to stay fit!

 

Thank you for everything!

Dear Husband,

Please just admit that we got a GREAT deal on a Vera Wang king-size mattress and box-spring set. This bed was originally $3200 and we got it for $599!!!!!! Yes, it was a "scratch and dent" and just has a small snag in the fabric underneath, but don't think you could've got the guy to go lower!!!! Also, remember that one of the reasons we're getting this new mattress is because you had a little too much to drink the other night and thought the bed was the TOILET!!!!! (Did I just say that here, he'd KILL ME!!!!). The old mattress springs are also broken so they're poking our legs when we get in and out!

Love, Your pregnant wife who wishes she could drink and repay you!!!!!

 

Amy that is hilarious, but I can say that I know my cousin wound up having to get a new bed during pregnancy...so if that alone was your excuse its worth it

 

dear furbabies (dogs)

 

why oh why does your farts have to stink so bad, I mean it smells like you just took a dump on my nose... God I want to throw up..

Vera Wang makes mattresses?? Wow! And, omg Amy, your hubby did NOT do that! That is horrible. If it helps, my BFF's hubby mistook their closet for the toilet once, and then I think he tried to do it another time in a dresser drawer. EWWW!!

 

Dear Furbabies,

Why do you both have to sit on my lap and fight over the best spot!

I can beat that. Our old roomate used to crawl out of bed, and pee right on the bedroom floor. When we pulled up the carpet after he moved, there were piss stains everywhere. One night he stumbled into the living room, and dropped his pants. FI had to direct him to the bathroom. (He only made it to the sink.) The worst is he went camping with his GF one night, got on his knees, dropped his drawers, and pissed all over him. They are STILL together. GROSS!!!!

LOL- That is so gross!!!