am i being unreasonable?

I really don't think you are being unreasonable in encouraging them to postpone their 'engagement' until after your wedding. But if for whatever reason, he does propose to her, then I think you just have to trust that she will have enough class to let you have your day without making it about her ... and if not, you'll just have to announce that you are pregnant on her wedding day!

I think this is so hard!!! Especially because this is a whole trip away for you! If you were at home, having a traditional wedding, it wouldn't be such an issue, but because this is being away and you get to celebrate your wedding for a few days (which is why I am so excited about my DW!!!!) it makes it harder. Maybe your FI can just sit hiim down and talk to him about it (I mean...he is the BM, so they should be pretty close?) and explain how much this trips means to you as you prepare to celebrate for your special day, maybe he will completely understand? I don't think it is harsh to ask him to wait until the day after

Haha..have him tell his BM that she will be so much more hyped up after watching the two of YOU get married, that the morning after, at sunrise, she could just be blown away about how now SHE gets to plan hers!! hope that help!?! )

i'm sorry but i think this is just TACKY!!!

yes it's their vacation and yes they're going to be at a beautiful location but come on!!! they are there for YOUR wedding!! i think that your FI should tell his friend how you feel about this (even if you aren't supposed to know) maybe a girl's perspective would change his mind...i mean how do you think the gf will feel about it as well?? what a great story to tell.."yeah so we were there for a friends wedding when bob popped the question..." hum...NO NO NO!! this not only steals your thunder, but her's as well!! at the VERY LEAST he needs to wait till after the wedding. although in my opinion it shouldn't happen AT ALL on this trip!!

can you tell im pissed for you, lol!!!

as for the one about the friend proposing before the wedding and telling his then FI not to talk about it or wear her ring?!?!? WTF?? what is wrong with guys sometimes? could you imagine if your FI had proposed and said "but honey you can't talk about it or wear your ring till AFTER their wedding"...i would say try again when it's actually ok for me to be engaged!! this kinda highlights what i said before about stealing the thunder of the girl who gets engaged!

thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. I am happy to read that my opinion is not only felt by me but others as well....I will use this as my literature review LOL! and show my FI that I am not asking for much.

I guess a main thing that may cause a lot of disagreement is that it seems a lot of brides here refer to "the wedding" as the whole week trip. I don't really see it as that. I saw our wedding as the day we exchanged vows and the rest of our trip as a time to celebrate and enjoy the time with all our loved one in one awesome vacation- it was our biggest vacation for TWO years, so it did dictate how we vacationed too. At times we all went off and did our own thing too and I know my DH and I snuck off to have some alone time too. I guess I don't see the big deal in someone having a private moment and getting engaged during the trip- of course, not on THE wedding because yes, that's not the best of ideas.

I'd also be willing to bet that so many that have been waiting for a ring wouldn't think it's "tacky" for it to occur on a beautiful vacation that's focus is on the celebration of love. Would it be better if he just decided to skip the wedding and use that money on a different vacation so he CAN propose? I mean really- these people have a life to live too!

I would be annoyed as well. It's your wedding, the entire week should be about YOU.

We were going to his cousin's wedding on the Saturday, my ring arrived on the Thursday. We waited till Monday to officially get engaged because i did not want to steal her thunder. I just think it's common courtesy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about it being tacky to get engaged AT someones wedding, but I don't see the problem with it before or after. And I'm kinda shocked at how many people really think that everyones entire vacation should revolve for the entire time around the wedding. You really think the entire week is about you (bride & groom)? Do you dedicate an entire week to every wedding that you go to? Then I don't really think it's fair to expect others to do the same.

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Originally Posted by Lite I would be annoyed as well. It's your wedding, the entire week should be about YOU. We were going to his cousin's wedding on the Saturday, my ring arrived on the Thursday. We waited till Monday to officially get engaged because i did not want to steal her thunder. I just think it's common courtesy.